How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie | Animated Book Review

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[jirenuniverse]

It works man, my Architecture professor in China whom is well known for his sternness and military method based teaching is despised among students in my class. One day, my friend told me that aside from teaching us, he has a job as a small time architect. The next time when he criticized my project with profanities, I didn't let it get to me, I started to think from his point of view, he must be tired from his job as an architect and he has to teach us and correct our mistakes after his long day of work. So I just listened, I didn't complain or cut him, and in the end I told him "Thank you for your time, it must've been a long day from work". He then smiled, and said "Nah, it's nothing". After that the profanities started to decrease, and he even tried to start a conversation with me

[seefore]

I’ve been practicing these skills in the workplace for several years now and I can attest that they work. People will like you more when you genuinely care. People will defend your mistakes when you own them. Unfortunately most all other people will not behave this way and that will be very frustrating. Some people, often those in power, will take advantage of your empathy and compassion; shamelessly. It will disgust you and leave you despondent.

[ARsuffix]

Part One Fundamental Techniques in Handling People: Talk to people about themselves. Put yourself in their perspective. Don't criticize, condemn or complain. See it through their eyes. Show appreciation. See what it is that they want and try to align it with what _you_ want. This is the principle of _arousing an eager want_ in the other person.
Part Two Six Way to Make People Like You: Become genuinely interested in other people. Ask them about their profession, what they've accomplished, where they came from, what they aspire to, what they've endured. Understand that people often live as though we are the star our own life movie and it is the _only_ movie.
Part Three How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking: If you made a mistake, don't defend yourself. _Own_ the mistake. Admit that you were wrong and do it emphatically. State how terrible the mistake was, how you could be punished or what repercussions there could be. Do so so that you deflate the other person's anger. This puts them in a position that they'll actually may defend you.
Part Four How to Change People Without Giving Offence or Arousing Resentment: Talk about your own mistakes first.

[HipsterYoda]

It's very true, at my work a customer came in wearing the local gyms uniform and as soon as asked what the gym was like he said come by tomorrow and I'll show you.
So I did, he then offered me a deal that ended up saving me around 100 dollars compared to the deals advertised outside the gyms front doors, he trained me for free and gave me a free workout plan, we are now relatively good friends.
It is truly incredible what one sentence, spoken genuinely and with confidence can acheive

[kmdlopper]

Since I've seen a bunch of summaries highlighting random rules from the book, I thought I'd give my take after reading it 3 times:


This whole book is based upon 3 fundamental principles;

1. Don't criticize, condemn or complain (think of other ways, such as asking in a friendly way)

2. Make people feel important, do it sincerely through honest appreciation (This is the most recurring theme within the book)

3. Arouse in people in an eagar want (If you want them to do something)


Rules/Tips/Guides Based on Principle 1;

a) Avoid arguments
b) Never say 'You're wrong'
c) Try to see things from the other persons perspective
d) Be sympathetic with others ideas & desires
e) Call attention to others mistakes indirectly
f) Talk about your own mistakes first before critiquing
g) Ask questions instead of giving orders


Rules/Tips/Guides Based on Principle 2;

a) Become genuinely interested in other people
b) Remeber peoples names
c) Be a good listener (encourage others to talk about themselves)
d) Make the other person feel important - sincerely
e) let the other person feel the idea was his/hers
f) Begin in a friendly way
g) Let the other person do the talking
h) Begin with praise and honest appreciation
I) Praise the slightest improvement & praise every improvement
j) use encouragement - make the fault seem easy to correct

Rules/Tips/Guides Based on Principle 3;

a) Talk in terms of the other persons interests
b) Appeal to his/her nobler motives
c) Give the other person a fine reputation to live upto
d) Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest


Other ideas/suggestions which are worth knowing;

a) Smile
b) If you are wrong, admit it quickly
c) Get the other person saying 'Yes, Yes' immediately (Amazing to think how many sales books & scripts are based off this 1 chapter, which is around 5 pages long)
d) Dramatise your ideas (Used often in copywriting with 3D mail, etc)
e) Throw down a challenge (Used to improve productivity with workers)


Hope that helps atleast some people out! Highly recommend reading the book for the examples given.

[XShollaj]

Read this 6 years ago, and dismissed it as basic and generic! Now after 6 years I came back and honestly this is by far the most important and powerful book, hands down!

[-.---.-.-.-]

These kind of books summaries are gold, in 10 minutes you can get much of the gold from a book that would have taken hours to read. There are some books like this for example that is completely worth the read, but if you can't find time and motivation to do it then these videos is a 100 times better than not reading at all. I want to thank you for the time and effort you have put into this video, I couldn't have explained it better!

[mk-ultra]

People need to realize that listening is the most important skill when it comes to communication. You can learn so much of a person and their emotional state when you listen and pay attention to them genuinely.

[zman]

my social iq was that of a cabbage before reading this book, now that I'm half way through, I'm already as charismatic as a Chicken! it's truly worth the read

[riuzakilawliet]

I've been doing this all my life and on one point, I just have to stop. I feel like I phony, doing the opposite of what I feel and what I think.

At the end of the day, I was able to get along with everybody, but I wasn't able to build deep friendship, as I haven't shared my true feelings, I always act considering others before mine.

What I learned is you don't need to please everyone, be yourself and you'll find the right people who can accept who you are

[simsitzer]

So I read this book in high school and it totally changed how I talk to people. I would get them to like me by listening to whatever they wanted to tell me but it started to really bother me because I was generally not interested. Now I get them to talk about things that I'm actually interested in and the truth is there is a lot to learn from people. With my new way of doing this I do find people that I really don't feel like I learn anything from and don't care much for and that's ok. I'm much happier this way. In a nutshell, as was said above, it has to be genuine

[muskndusk]

A consequence of showing interest in other people's 'movies' may be that they endlessly talk about themselves and you never get the opportunity to share your own life or 'movie'. If everyone you know is interested in only telling you about their day (because they know you'll listen), the relationship can start to become very one-sided.

[itamarsimon]

Not all people will defend you when you choose to become the victim

[anduro]

6:00 What if the boss just escalates the punishment even further, the original plan is to have you pay 40$ dollars (x2 the ammount) and then yiu immediately barge in with the offer of x4 . So he realises he might be able to negotiate you up and have you pay x16 the ammount and you are also fired just because you gave him the idea, you made it out to be a big deal so the boss is just taking your word for it.

Maybe because he knows the tactic and now despises you for trying to manipulate him or in a less extreme scenario just because he realises he can make more money by asking you x4 times instead of the original x2, maybe even push the scale to x6 and some overtime.

[nickdannunzio]

When I was schooled in "Project Management" this book was on the "must read" list... coupled with "Win Win Negotiating" definitely enhanced my people skills and management style...

[maxharlan]

I love Carnegies book and the focus on other peoples needs. The only thing I disagree with is the 100% rules like "Never criticize, condemn and complain" there are times for these things even if they shouldn't be the default mode of communication

[lively]

Life changing advice! Extremely important words to live by: Genuinely care for others as you would for yourself. Admit imperfections. So brilliant yet simple!

[SpikeTutorialsYT]

You know what I liked about this book? The storytelling and how each stories are based on true events. If all the books are like this then maybe most of us will not be confused about our future.

[isabelmenon]

I have taken the course long ago and worked as a graduate assistant a few times. The principles have been used again and again by many authors since the first book was written. In essence, when we change our focus from "me" to others, life changes and good things will come your way.

[JS-djpu]

Read this book in 2016 and it changed my life 100 times over. Even something simple like using people's name more often improved my relationships