7 Tricks Narcissists Use To Make You Look LIke The Problem

Because of the dysfunctional ingredients that lay at the base of narcissism, it is certain that narcissists will generate all sorts of difficulties in their relationships. But, as Dr. Les Carter explains, they refuse to take responsibility for the problems they create. Instead, they use various tricks to make you look like the difficult person. Knowledge is power, so as you recognize their tactics, you won't fall into their traps.

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Dr. Les Carter is a best selling author and therapist who has semi-retired to Waco, TX. In the past 40+ years he has conducted more than 65,000 counseling sessions and many workshops and seminars. He specializes in anger management and narcissistic personality disorder.

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[Simbaholic]

Arguing with a narcissist is like getting arrested - anything you say can and will be used against you.

[rorrim]

Never waste your time explaining yourself to anyone intent on misunderstanding you.

[chrismclaughlin]

When a narcissist is blaming or accusing,
he is actually confessing.

[therealwolfspidertoo]

Be careful. A narcissist will turn it around and gaslight you into thinking maybe you're the problem.

[RedHearts]

1. Bait you into arguing to use against you
2. Insist you have to justify your actions/feelings
3. Shame you for independent thoughts
4. Make you feel responsible for their mood
5. Offer lame excuses then blame you for your reaction
6. Try to intimidate you when you have boundaries
7. Accuse you of being a Narcissist

All of this is done to WEAR YOU DOWN, become weak, anxious, depressed, withdrawn, negative and cynical.

[scarletletter]

1) recognize the narcissist
2) don't take in anything they say about you - good or bad
3) stop seeking their approval / permission / understanding

[odessae.]

Nobody has ever accused me of narcissism until I met a real narcissist.

[smac]

"Narcissists see your boundaries as an invasion of their own" - Dr. C (some time years ago)

[Pamela-sbev]

They are attracted to your spirit and vitality. They live to break your spirit and snuff out your light. Never again ✨

[markusbroyles]

"They didn't want to understand you in the first place ." EXCELLENT PHRASE !

[s.c.]

They love telling you "You're too sensitive!"

[DaughterofZyion]

My feelings are not allowed, been taught this since my childhood

[MaishaLearning]

You have to walk on eggshells around a narcissist. Consistently checking how they might interpret your words in a way that makes you look bad. Almost anything you say - even something as innocent as saying it’s about to rain - can lead to an argument or lead the conversation down a path that makes you look stupid.

Believe in yourself. Trust yourself.

[kingbee]

No one has ever regretted going no contact.

[carolynjaynes]

I left my entire family because of narcissistic abuse, enablers and flying monkeys. I now live free, safe and peacefully.

[ritz]

I diligently went to therapist for two years, trying to fix the person that in reality, my partner caused me to become. The narcissistic abuse made me break and go insane, and my reactions were pointed out as the problem. The gaslighting and manipulation caused me to absolutely believe I was the cause of all our problems. I committed to fixing myself so he would be happier (he never went to therapy because he had no problems.) Strangely enough my “mood swings” and “outbursts” disappeared when I left the relationship. I’m not insane anymore.

[sl]

This is why I've always felt like certain family members don't know me at all. It's because they actually don't have an interest in getting to know me. It's all about them. One of my favourite quotes is from the movie The World's Greatest Dad: "I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is ending up with people who make you feel all alone."

[erinscruggs]

Seeing competition where there is NOT.

[bestimpersonations]

It is mind-blowing that there is a universal playbook.

[js]

When I pointed out the ongoing silent treatment, the narcissist didn’t disagree. Instead, he described the material things he had provided for me and I looked like the difficult, ungrateful person. Narcissists use this redirection tactic because it is simple and it works. It kept me stuck for years, until Dr C gave it a name – narcissistic abuse.