My Husband Needs to Go to Rehab or Move Out

My Husband Needs to Go to Rehab or Move Out

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[emmaswartz]

For young women here. I made a pact to myself and let my husband know there's 3 things that will immediately end our marriage, affair, abuse, and addiction. When one of these things happens, I will file for divorce no matter how much I love him. It's my oxygen mask. She's slowly suffocating herself and her children by staying. He can come back if he cleans himself up.

[jeromehenry]

Caller kept repeating husband is Mister Wonderful from 7am - 6pm, but they both work during that time frame, and their kids are at school or activities too. Basically, family doesn't get husband's sober hours. Wife needs to realize husband DOES NOT love his kids; he's just going through the motions when kids are around him. He has repeatedly put his kids' lives in danger; he wants them dead. If he goes to rehab, counseling will be part of the process, and he doesn't want to reveal his true feelings about his kids. Sometimes men have a fantasy of children; conception & birth prove father is virile, so that alone is a bit of an ego boost. Then there's being financial provider for his kids, which society pats him on the back. But then comes the "tidiest" parts of fatherhood which eclipses his adult time, and he very much resents his kids for that. His resentment is greater than any love/connection he ever felt for his kids. Many men feel that filing for divorce shows weakness, he failed, which is a hit to his ego. Only time men will file divorce is wife cheated (hit to his ego), or he cheated & wants affair partner more than wife/family. Wife needs to accept fact trying to not divorce at all costs is more detrimental to her kids than a divorce; she is actually dragging her kids through the mud just for HER FANTASY OF MARRIAGE. If anything bad happens to one/all of their kids due to "neglect", she is now equally responsible as husband because he has already shown her his callousness towards his kids.

[deborahgrogan]

No one wants to be divorced and I hope this family is able to work this out. As a 65 yo woman who watched my parents repeat this cycle over and over, I can assure the caller that the kids understand what's going on. It wasn't until my mom chose to separate that things - slowly - started to change. Ultimately my dad died from alcoholism at the age of 50. Altho he ended up living in his car on the opposite side of the country he still managed to wreak havoc in our lives every single day. He wasn't a bad guy and he loved us deeply but never was able to shake his addiction ("I can live without you but I can't live without my booze" - a direct quote I will never forget). Over time his thinking became... deranged... while Mom & us kids became closer and stronger. Sometimes divorce is not the worst thing for a family. I wish this caller and her family all the best! ♥️

[lilaworley]

One of my very first core memories is driving in the car with my father in the early 80's and looking over and he was falling asleep at the wheel. I remember looking at my little sister in her seat in the back and trying to shake him awake.
It's something that was ingrained in my mind. 30 years later.... I caught my father drinking and driving with my first born child in his car. Him and my mother never stopped drinking and lied about drinking when my daughter would visit.
I'm estranged from my parents.
Both of them.
Nobody wins.
Alcohol ruins lives and rips families apart.
My children have never seen me slur my words... And they never will.
THAT is the legacy this caller is raising their children in.
Her husband is trash. This is a choice. He Chooses alcohol over his children.

[neededtobesaid]

One of my in-laws went to rehab for 2 months out of state. He came back & started drinking almost immediately.

Personally, I'm so done with this person. They came over during the holidays & he reeked of alcohol. Days later he asked why I didn't want him to drive home (no, he didn't drive home). I told him that he reeked of alcohol & was swaying when standing. He claimed that he only had 1 glass of wine. I told him that I didn't believe him. He said, "Is that what you think of me?!?" I said, "Yes, I saw you passed out on the floor one year when you went to visit my father. I know how you drink." Now, he barely speaks to me.

I'm waiting for the call that he died from drinking & driving. Hope he doesn't kill someone.

Not everyone can be saved from this "disease". Not everyone survives cancer or heart disease. Sometimes it's a lost cause.

Wishing this lady & her family well. Hopefully, her husband will go to rehab & stay sober but if not I believe she needs to leave.

[kdbyers]

Do a trial separation. This definitely forced my wife into a 90-day treatment, and she never looked back. We have been strong for years since then. The separation will make or break ur relationship. You will find out what you need to do moving forward.

[liveslisa]

I gave my husband an ultimatum to go to rehab or I'd divorce him. He went, but didn't stay the length of time he was supposed to. He came home and appeared to quit drinking for about 5 months. When it was apparent he was drinking again, I called a divorce attorney. It was time to fish or cut bait. She deserves to live in a drama free sober life. He never did quit drinking and it eventually killed him.

[LCtrgx]

"I'm going to keep my kids in an alcoholic house for the sake of the children!" ... do these people not hear themselves

[happycamper]

Her denial is heartbreaking.

You know you have to divorce him. He is going to k!ll your kids or all of you.

[Brenda-tr]

Of course hubby won't leave! Living with a weak-willed woman who's in love with him allows him to be supported financially and otherwise by her, and still indulge his drinking. She needs to get some tough male family members or male friends involved, to get him out.

[LCtrgx]

just to spell it out for you your kids are being abused you're not protecting them at all

[libragoddessauset]

If she is staying CPS needs to step in this is dangerous way to live

[janetmorecraft]

My husband is an alcoholic, and after many years of torture and mental abuse, I realized he wasn’t married to me. He was married to his addiction. We finally separated and live in separate homes. He got his act together more or less, and I don’t put up with any crap you need to have boundaries.

[gabyszabo]

He has the audacity to say that SHE’S a traitor??? He has betrayed his marriage vows, his wife, his duty, his children. Pffff.

[yogaqueen]

I'm thankful to be single and kid free. My life great and drama free.

[ChisomPrince-woxj]

Hit 200k today. I'm really grateful for all the knowledge and nuggets you had thrown my way over the last months. Started with 14k in June 2023

[lynnebrooks]

Hey sweet lady, I loved my husband but he was progressing in drunk life! I just had to give him an altimatum, the family or his drinking! I had been praying with many others, he finally left, as an answer to prayer! Turned himself into treatment, after a number of days, had a local pastor come pray!! That was the beginning of healing! But surrendering to God daily is the only way to live! Asking for wisdom!!🙏🙏

[staceystrukel]

She needs to document everything so the husband does not get any custody until he chooses sobriety. The problem with her leaving is the courts don’t believe people and give custody to addicts. The kids might actually be safer living the way they are and her playing both roles. Her relationship with him is dead. She needs to realize that. It’s easy for people to judge from the outside but when you leave it can get worse when you’re dealing with an addict.

[audity]

Someone should show you they have the propensity to change before you even consider marriage! Do the hard work before marriage to save yourself this heartache.

[LCtrgx]

You knew he was an alcoholic before you chose to have several kids with him ? are you crazy ? poor kids man.