Learning to Respond Not React - Tara Brach

Tara Brach - Learning to Respond Not React - 09/02/2015

When stressed, we often react with looping fear-thoughts, feelings and behaviors that cause harm to ourselves and/or others. This talk offers three interrelated strategies that can serve us when we’re triggered by stress, and help us find our way back to our natural wisdom, empathy and wholeness of being. By de-conditioning habitual reactivity, we are increasingly able to respond to our life circumstances in ways that serve healing and awakening.

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With thanks and love, Tara

[scarlettfreedom]

I am listening to this as I battle deep suicidal ideation, truely in a state of physical and mental shock and pain. I am weak, and my heart is broken. Tara, this is the most wonderful, comforting and enlightening talk that is so pertinent to help get through these moments of utter hell and resistance and depression and stagnation. 😭🙏💗

[janedoh]

1. Don’t believe your thoughts.
2. Pause and come back to the present moment.
3. Remember love

[monicasmadhouse]

finally a preacher that doesn't yell at you like a sinner, but a beloved student of spirituality

[carlahaller]

'Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to chose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.' Viktor Frankl-

[debrac]

1)please don't believe your thoughts 2) pause, back to presence 3) remember love.... mindfulness strengths our pre-frontal cortex . I can go to bed now

[Megwilleatyourface]

This is beautiful. The story Tara read at the last thirteen minutes was in a chicken soup for the soul and I read it as a kid and I think it saved my life. I wasn’t popular and I was overweight and teen years are hard. As an adult, no longer being that kid, I’m reminded to be kind to others. We never know what they’re going through and how we could affect their day. This story always makes me cry. Never underestimate the power of your caring.

[MarianR]

I’m less than 20 minutes into your talk and I want to comment. First, you are the answer to my asking source energy for assistance with my insecurities that have grown so strong over the past couple of years, but have also been with me for ever. I study psychology, spirituality, metaphysics, nap, you name it, and I work at a counseling center. I hear therapists say “they” and “people that, ” etc., which makes me feel like “those people. I seriously began to think there was something really wrong with me. When you speak, you say “we, ” which really lessens my feeling that I’m damaged. It’s more inpowering. And your message is simple and true. It’s a low period for me and you lift me up. Thank you! I may be back when I finish listening.

[Butterflyneverlands]

I hope they never take this video down. I'm gonna need to watch it over and over again.

[cutzymccall]

Like many people, I grew up with a deeply stressed mother who used me as a scapegoat for her anxieties and disappointments. She put a huge amount of fear into me; she was mentally, emotionally and physically abusive every day, saying horrible things about me and inculcating me with fear. This was all secretive; she did not abuse me in front of others, including my father, who was away at work. So this secret abuse stayed with me most of my life. I was saved by being loved and appreciated by my father and everyone else around me, but I still have to fight insecurity and self-denigration. Meditation and discussions like this have changed everything. I love Tara’s guidance about self-acceptance and self-compassion. It puts me in a place of peace I needed so badly. ❤❤❤❤❤ I particularly love the message that the good thoughts accrue, so life can become better and better. PS Tara you’re a riot! I love your funny side.

[daneetalorettajackson]

This was incredibly healing. As I write this, Covid-19 rages through our country and our planet. Minneapolis is burning, and violent hatred is overtaking sanity. I can feel it in my heart. I understand why people want to burn. Last night, I wanted to burn. But, then, I found this. Thank you so much for helping me to center by disbelieving thoughts, being here now and remembering love. In this way, I can move forward and be strong for what is to come.

[SantaCruzHappy]

Thank you Tara, for making your talks available here on YouTube.

[edwardpetersen]

I have listened to this several times over the course of years. As talks go, this one approaches perfection; inspiring, educational, emotional, funny and an acute pointer to Spirit. Thanks, Tara.

[deborah]

WOWOWOW I don't know how you told that story without crying; I;m sure everyone who heard it cried. Thank you for all your practices. You are making such a difference in the world and my life.

[MrLocust]

"Thoughts are never reality they are at best a representation that's And they're often misguided.." Every time I feel fear in my body I'm going to sit with it and say "this is a thought creating this fear in my body". I feel like if I can do that one thing, it will be a stepping stone to turning in the optimal direction. Thank you Tara Brach!

[nryane]

My heart was hurting when I found this video. I’m grateful for the teaching. I was believing my thoughts that I hurt my friend deliberately, rather than sharing a delight I have in words. My sharing triggered her and she accused me of DELIBERATELY hurting her.

I took in her words and believed the thought that I was hurtful, not loving. My heart and stomach have been aching from that thought.

This meditation brought me great relief. My thoughts were much like a child’s, believing that I wasn’t a good person. I got to hear them, to recognize that they are REAL, but NOT the truth. That “child-me” now knows that her love is REAL and she/I is safe and not “awful” or “wrong”.

Blessings!

[bugsea]

I spend a lot of time being fearful, not enough time, now I stop that track and enjoy myself this day, this hour this minute. Great reminder for me!

[jamiecotney]

I have just gotten away from a malignant narcissist. I’m ready to put all the negativity behind me and focus on positives. Your talk teaches me how to do that. Thanks

[restivo]

Her talk has really touched my soul. I’m so grateful she crossed my path tonight.

[marisah]

Thank you Tara, I found you through Psychology Today. I want to share this with the world! This talk was truly a life saver for me. I had a nightmare of a childhood and it's continued my whole life. Your talks and meditations were instrumental in helping me put the pieces together. I was misdiagnosed with depression all my life, in and out of psychosis, prescribed anti depressants, cocktails of prescriptions. obsessive behaviors that made me literally brush the enamel off my teeth. Drugs and Alcohol trying to self medicate. At 57 I was diagnosed with bipolar. I started DBT Therapy, even though I knew it was helping some I was still in a fog. I came to realize l couldn't pay attention and realized I had a learning disorder. I changed Dr.s again and it was determined that I've also been living with attention deficit, another new medication! Finally it all started to make sense.. I've come to accept that this was my path. I'm feeling like I'm awakening for the 1st time in my life at 58. I'm not hating myself anymore and I have found the love and light that was always there. I'm on the path with so much gratitude. I can't thank you enough . <3

[sussanalee]

43:46 The thought becomes the word.
The word manifests as the deed.
The deed develops into the habit.

The habit hardens into character.

Character gives birth to destiny.

So watch your thoughts with care and let them spring from love born out of respect for all beings.
To the degree that we suffer we are believing thoughts that are not true and
we are caught in some kind of reactive looping that is keeping us identified with something
that is smaller than the truth of who we are.


Thank you Tara.