The Power Of Not Reacting | Respond vs. React With A Narcissist

When you feel like you've been invited to a fight, it's almost like an obligation for you to attend. Except, you're not really obligated. You can decide when and how to engage with a narcissist -- even in the most difficult of times. In this video, I talk about how not reacting is so much more powerful than fighting or retreating into defense mode. If you're looking for motivation to use respond over react, this is it.

🔥 *One-on-One Coaching With Christina*

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*In this video, I share the tips, techniques and insights that have worked for me in my own journey of healing after narcissistic abuse along with expert tips and tools I've learned through years of coaching narcissistic abuse survivors. I am not a therapist and this video is not meant to provide therapy of any form. #narcissist #covertnarcissist

[sanjanabhatia]

Go SOBER - Stop, Observe and don’t absorb, Breathe, Emotionally detach, Remain calm. Being calm when you are being disrespected is a superpower. ❤️

[rde]

When they start raging and insulting you, always remember they are talking about themselves. They can give you reams of information about themselves without even realising it.

[nonenone]

The answer to every problem is to walk away

[gracesanity]

Remember bullies hate being bullied back. Dont be passive. Be stragetic.

[OG_Bearcat]

Going through this with a bad neighbor. I’m not reacting. So hard, but so rewarding!

[garycordle]

Take them like a grain of salt 🧂 and don't take nothing to heart ❤️ whatever they might say, observe don't absorb 🙏👍 Christina and survivors and thrivers 🦋

[markthomas]

It is such a challenge to be non reactive. For myself to be silent is almost impossible. Time to end the relationship, it won’t improve.

[Chesseveryones]

You have power over your mind not outside events, you realize this, you find your strength

[janetstonerook]

That's the nice thing about being older and retired. I don't get triggered often emotionally.( Since I don't owe anybody anything financially and have no bosses.)
I avoid negativity whenever possible. I have systemically winnowed the narcissists out of my life in the last several years. Sure wish I'd known all this earlier in my life. But, it's darn good now.

[athaisdubaie]

When dealing with my narcissist sister, I set boundaries for a reason. No name calling, no putting me down or putting my successes down, etc. This way, I no longer had to respond. The rule was that if she violated a boundary, I would walk away/hang up/not respond to the email or letter, etc. So, if she did violate a boundary, I would just do the pre-determined action and leave her figure it out. Unfortunately, her abuse continued to get worse over time, but I stuck to doing the pre-determined reaction. Eventually, I got tired dealing with the abuse and am no contact with her now.

[tedtalkshockey]

They try to transfer their negativity onto you so that they can feel better by making you feel worse. I hurt one of these people very badly once, they were gossiping to me about someone else and all I said was “why are you telling me this?” They still talk about that comment. They couldn’t give me an honest answer without looking bad so I handcuffed them verbally.

[ffmtnlaurel]

"You can't take the high road on a high horse" ~ Matt Kahn.

[hishealer]

I imagine circus music while I'm breathing. Then I watch the clown dance. Show them who you are, I'll wait. (Try not to laugh, it won't help the situation.)

[keithharding]

This is so true. Our last home purchase would be the beginning of 7 years of harassment from the narcissist next door. We have had City Code enforcement called on us multiple times, only to have each case thrown out by the city council, many letters from our HOA for "created vilations" that were never followed up on after we challenged them, verbal abuse and attempts to recruit flying monkeys to co-retaliate against us with false accusations. Although extremely difficult, we never sought vengeance. They finally moved about a year ago. Our neighborhood is so peaceful now with them gone.

[aylasalci]

....And you can drive them crazy by not reacting!😄😄😄👍🏻

[sbgever]

One comment below says to observe and not absorb! Words to live by! I need to meditate on that and repeat to myself until it becomes a new healthy habit. ❤️🙏

[glenncowan]

There's so many brilliant people dropping knowledge. YouTube is way better than television!!

[SuperBlakes]

I am mainly able to not react outwardly. But I still have the emotional explosion inside myself, and really struggle to not ruminate on what was just said or done. Great video. So right, not so easy to do

[zifangkb]

“You can keep your pain. I do not have it.” Good

[SJP]

I had a moment at work that sent me over the top and I felt horrible that I allowed myself to let them take me there. I took some long hard deep breaths, read a Bible scripture and promised myself that I could never allow these people to get me to react like that again.