Afraid & Don't Want Some Changes on Transition Hormones?

Changes on transition hormones can vary and not all want all of them. Especially if you identify as non binary, and want some small aspect of masculinizing or feminizing on hormones but are afraid of it, this video is helpful.

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Hello Friends! I'm Dr Z, and this is a channel where I help you break free from dysphoria!

👉NOTE: I work solely with adults, and all video content is marked for adults only. As such, the information shared is based on my experience working with adults only.

DISCLAIMER: Note that as a clinical psychologist, I created this channel to share information. Therefore, I won't be providing or offering therapeutic advice. I am also not a medical doctor. When I speak on medical issues such as hormones or surgical procedures, the goal is to share information and not to provide medical advice, and you should always consult with your medical doctor. Additionally, this channel is for those seeking information and understanding and to gain awareness.

#gender #genderdysphoria #transgender #nonbinary #genderidentity #gendertransition #gendertherapist #transhealth #transgenderwomen #transmann #enby #hormones #dysphoria #selfhelp #transformation

[toddg]

This is a good topic! I'm nonbinary transmasc, started low dose testosterone a month ago, and very glad I did.

6 months ago, I'd already done a lot of social transition and I just wanted a slightly deeper voice. I didn't want other changes, especially bottom growth.

I opened up to the possibilities of hormones over a few months. I started to feel more comfortable in a masculine identity and with some other changes. It was still really scary to start though. When you're assigned-female-at-birth, society warns you about "ruining your body" with testosterone. It feels like there is no going back. At the same time, you have to live with the fact you won't pass as a man (right away or ever).

After my first weekly shot, I freaked out and worried I was not "truly" trans. Fortunately I had a supportive doctor (who is also trans) that told me I can stop if I think it's a mistake. She said I can even come back 6 weeks later and say, actually, it was not a mistake, and start again.

As a nonbinary person, and especially as an anxious person who overthinks big decisions, these things were helpful:

1) Actually going to the doctor and doing the informed consent forms, so that it is more real.
2) Taking a break from trans Youtubers and influencers, especially their transition timelines and montages.
3) Taking a break from *de-transition* Youtubers. (Personally it is just not healthy or helpful to my journey for me to engage too much with these stories. No two people are the same.)
4) Realizing the changes are actually quite slow. After a month on testosterone, I haven't really had changes. So I can just take it day by day and see how I feel. The longer I am on it the more comfortable I feel with the changes I wasn't as excited about.
5) Realizing that there are downsides to any biological sex characteristics. Being grossed out by something (e.g. being super sweaty) does not mean you are not trans.

[Ozisl]

Thanks. I feel really left out as nonbinary. The dysphoria is real, but the treatments are bad.

[Jocelyn_Jade]

The changes are definitely slow and sudden that you won’t feel a sudden change. All the changes to your body come slowly. It feels intuitive transformation. If we were just given the end result with no time and effort, it would be overwhelming. The transition is a journey and I love it. 💗

[TheLaughingOut]

I was terrified of the sexual side effects as someone who is not planning on getting any surgeries. But the longer I'm on HRT the more ok I've become with all of it. I'm still functional, but also not so sex-driven. Every trans woman I know says that even though their sexuality changed, it didn't disappear. And that actually sounds wonderful.

[MarzMunRogue]

Dr reads our minds lol..im nonbinary low dose ...for some reason my hormones are kicking in fast...i want to remain "in the middle" but ill welcome it all

[Azurekate]

I’m 10 months on estrogen, I feel lucky because for me it’s been an enormous gain and very little give. Even what I thought I lost, sexually, I gained something else entirely unexpected. So I would say manage expectations for unwanted changes but also there may be some good things that surprise you!

[PolyphiaGroupie]

I'm transfem (binary) and really want everything but breast growth seems scary, not in general but rather size.
I'm scared of back pain and also scared of them being so big its the first thing many people look at and then being sexualized.
Also really scared of not being able to boymode anymore bc of breasts when I dont pass in other aspects yet.

[richardmanguse]

Again. Thank you for your many kindnesses. A few months into HRT MtF, 55. I have no expectations of real success. However, I feel the reduction in Testosterone has made an amazing improvement in daily life. Estrogen is slow and mysterious. Dr Z you are an amazing asset, please continue you're hard work.

[circlebird]

After several months of back and forth with myself about whether or not I should pursue hrt (I'm amab), I have come to the conclusion that it is almost certainly the correct path. Unfortunately, I am still terrified of losing strength -- not that I have much now (no working out will do that), but the thought of suddenly not being able to pick up and move things, or of physical vulnerability in the world is just so scary to me.

[lxcky]

Testosterone sounds daunting to me, but on the other hand, one of the things that used to seem daunting is body hair, and lately as I’ve been looking at surgery results I’ve been thinking that a bit of hair on a chest makes the scars less apparent and went as far as thinking that it looks nicer, then I realized that I had a “too bad I won’t have much hair like that” mindset! Then I remembered how when I reached puberty I was originally fine with my body hair growing, until my ENTIRE school made fun of me for being hairy and I kept it for a while because I couldn’t understand why I was getting shit about it and not the boys... Now I think I was shamed into not liking body hair and I kinda want it....

[태이씨]

Its such a great supportive community here in the comments! 🤧

[sligothmanson]

I'm struggling with the fear of starting testosterone for more than 3 years. I can't picture how I will look afterwards and the changes kind of scare me as well as the potential health problems that might come too. The second one could be from internalizing all the threats my family used to say to me. I saw the video of the inner self but still even if I'm trying to focus on just me and my progress I'm not very sure that I can.

[orbitalresonance]

So i just figured out that im nb based strongly on social dysphoria. It's not that I dislike being seen as a man, but i strongly dislike *only* being seen as a man. I've always had some but never more than mild physical dysphoria. I've been self medding for almost a month now, and am going through this. (I want go through a doctor because i want blood drawn, make sure things are where i'd like them to be, not guess). When i began breast development i panicked and thought i should stop because I've never had more than mild physical dysphoria. But I *love* the effects E is having on my brain chemistry! And aside from fears of swimming season having more breast tissue, I also love the physical effects. So yeah, i think I need to get on a controlled microdose. The suggestion of actually writing down pros/cons vs having them jumble in your head is really good.

[That_dark_ranger]

I feel the focus is mainly on the physical effects of hormones and that is mostly slower then the emotional side of it. Everyone is different but it's a hell of an emotional rollercoaster/ how people will treat you as you go further into changes and just something to keep in mind. If your questioning yourself, defo don't rush to hormones, transitioning isn't for everyone. One of the questions I had to ask myself before I went on hormones was how do I see myself when I'm like 60 or 70 years old. Do I see an old man or old woman . Hormones are serious and I've seen people rush in and then regret it later . Take your time, there's no rush

[claraladuelliste]

Ive been on hrt for 9 months and it was one of the best decisions ive ever taken. I dont necessarily like having breasts but even then im so underweight that they're still of an acceptably small size (although i do hope they wont grow more), and its honestly a tradeoff i can live for in exchange for how soft my skin is, how i regrew hair and completely stopped male pattern baldness, how the fat redistribution in my face made me look cuter and younger and more androgynous, how thin and sparce my body hair has become and how practically extinguished my libido has been

Basically im considering getting a binder but otherwise im happy with every change so far and mostly hoping they continue further (especially facial feminization, my face is pretty much the only part of my body still giving me occasional but very strong dysphoria)

[deathpigeon]

You can't fully control HRT, but it's also just not true that you can't pick and choose.

There are healthy ways to go on just testosterone antagonists because they only block uptake, not production, of testosterone.

There are also SERMs and SARMs which can target hormones to specific areas of your body.

There *are* trade offs regardless, but there are also a lot of different ways to do HRT which can actually serve to pick and choose what results you get.

Acting as if these options do not exist is something that kept me from seeking medical transition for years even tho it has helped me a lot. Actually seeing an endocrinologist and getting the effects of being only on spironolactone explained to me helped alleviate my worries and has helped me transition with confidence.

I highly suggest seeing a good endocrinologist and discussing options if parts of binary medical transition are unwanted by you so you can see if you can craft a transition plan that is tailored to your wants and needs.

[zayaweight]

i think this video has given me a little more confidence & clarity in regards to hormone treatment. i want nearly every single aspect of feminizing hormones really badly, & i’m quite certain testosterone is a poison on my brain, but the breast development intimidates me. i think i do want breasts but all the implications of suddenly starting to grow breasts is a bit scary. at this point i’m convinced it’s worth it & i want to get hormones as soon as i am able.

i came out to a few close friends recently & discovered your videos a few days ago & these two things have been a massive help in figuring myself out. thank you so much for doing this! it means so much! <3

[skychavis]

I’m a trans guy and haven’t started T yet, but I can’t wait to start! I really hope I don’t start losing my hair and hope I don’t get any acne, but neither of those things would stop me from starting T.

Like you said, life’s a trade-off. My mom always taught me that about everything. It applies to hormones as well. But I’m sure for me the good will far outweigh any negative aspects that may pop up.

[Girlsforever]

I was on HRT for about 2 months but my social transition isn't where I thought it would be and I haven't found an inclusive job (pandemic is making that extra hard) so I stopped taking hormones until I'm more ready for the changes. There's no problem with stopping hrt, waiting for hrt, or even deciding HRT is not for you. It's your life, go at your own speed. Great videos. 🤗🤗

[heretomakeitclear]

The only thing I’m afraid of with estradiol is the weight gain and fact that it can’t change everything in terms removing Adam’s apple, softening shoulders, change voice pitch, ect. 😞 I’m hesitant despite being on it for 3 days so far