Being Single in Your 30s: Navigating Society's Timeline, Keeping Standards & Being Content | Ep 21

Dating as women can feel like a rollercoaster no matter what age we are but after our 20s, there are more factors to think about. Wanting to be married or have a family is a beautiful thing, but it can be hard to hold onto these dreams when we feel like our timelines are delayed, and our biological clocks are ticking. Our personal timelines don't always come to pass, but we want to be people who have joy and a sense of self-assurance when life’s curveballs come our way.

How can we honour our desire for a romantic partner when we feel like our time is running out, and what’s the key to enjoying the present as a single person? Watch as our host Rachel Calland is joined by guests Joy Aboderin and Delphine Chui in the Magnify Studio for Ep 21 Being Single in Your 30s.

00:00 Intro
03:48 Planning our romantic timelines
25:50 Comparing ourselves to married women
36:17 Avoiding unintentional dating and FOMO
38:48 Experiencing joyful moments in singleness

JOY ABODERIN is a fashion and business lecturer and Style Director of Potential U, a style and image consultancy for professional women.

DELPHINE CHUI is a writer who presents on different lifestyle trends, faith-based advocacy and dating. She also runs her own befriending charity, CareDogs.

Produced by Method Films, filmed at Method Studios

Follow us on Instagram:
Magnify @magnifycollective

Follow our guests on Instagram:
Joy Aboderin: @potential_u_stylist
Delphine Chui: @delphineistyping

Follow our host on Instagram:
Rachel Calland @rachelcalland

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[myrandomrants]

“Just because someone goes to Church, doesn’t mean the Church is in them!” TRUTH!!!

[minimalassembly]

I met my husband less than 2 weeks before my 36th birthday. I was not sure if it would happen up to that point and did deal with frustration towards God about the very long wait. Some family/friends recommended that I even freeze my eggs, but I felt convicted to wait. I will just say that waiting on God was worth every second of what I perceived as delay. He was working throughout that time to prepare both myself and my husband for one another. I also did not have to “settle” at all and I got everything important that I prayed for and more that I did not know I needed. God even gave my mom a vision about my future child when I was still single, which encouraged me to wait. I will be giving birth in a few months to that child. I hope that this encourages anyone in their 30’s that is contending with God about their future marriage. Pray, watch and wait.

[Healthylifelex]

I just got married last month and I’m 32. I wanted to be married a while ago but I needed to work on myself. I lost 60 lbs, did some therapy, and my mother kept telling me start praying for a spouse. She was praying too unbeknownst to me. I moved back to Las Vegas (I’m from Atlanta), I got on the apps and met my husband by the end of the week. Prayer changes things.
Gods timeline of writing my love story
Moved back to Vegas: April 2022
Met my now husband: May 2022
Became official: August 2022
Met each others families: Dec 2022
He preposed: July 2023
We got married: Sept 2023

Please stay encouraged, I met my husband after 30. After watching others get married, instead of being envious I always said to myself “I’m next”. I just kept saying that. God changed my life in the blink of an eye. God bless everyone. ❤

[thulisilekumalo]

33 and single. The only pressure I am feeling is to create more peace and order in my life and also to be more financially stable.

[gigi]

I love these kinda of conversations. The struggle is soo intense sometimes, I'm 32 and I honestly feel my body wanting to make a baby. My hormones are all over the place, you just want that hug, that cuddle and when you are married you just that loving. It's sooo real. My thoughts sometimes are often unclean and it's hard. But I'm trying, and praying every night for God to help me.

[Wifeysmitty]

God is creating platforms and conversations for women in a beautiful way❤ I got married at 37 and I am so thankful for my single time. Solo dates, treating myself to nice gifts, keeping my home clean with pretty flowers and decor prepared me for marriage. If you are single, enjoy YOURSELF and love GOD through the journey.

[pearliengcongo]

These women dress so well omg. The green striped dress and then the pearl earrings with black shirt wow absolutely gorgeous!

[erikabright]

Been avoiding this video for 7days thinking its same old story but after watching, it resonates with me.
In my 30's, re-dedicated my life to Christ 3years ago, single and waiting on God for marriage. 2years praying for my future husband but sometimes the hormones are something else as I go older. I just want to feel loved, serve the Lord with him and carry his babies.

[ForMySoulSistas]

I'm 32, single and celibate since 2016 and it's been hard...
I resonated with:
- knowing your identity and self worth in God
- being excited to go on a date instead of scared, desperate and in a hurry to get married
- sometimes the guy is good on paper but there's no spark/attraction/fun.
- "just get on the dancefloor of life" : this is for me
- your passion/purpose keeps you busy and joyful and this joy is attractive for a man
- being open to being surprised and flexible with standards
These are good reminders
And I wasn't expecting Joy to be 47!

[upamast]

I'm a Muslim woman who's nearing 30, and I resonate with this so much! It gets easier to deal with societal pressures once you realize that it's always been you and God -- everything else is secondary. God will take care of you and guide you to what's best for you, so "get on the dance floor of Life" (as Joy says) and keep doing you! Everything's gonna work out for the best ❤

[fdoctor]

As a 44-year-old woman, I resonated with and appreciated this conversation. Yes, my identity is in Christ and my maker is my husband. Being both single and married is a blessing with different priorities. Maximize the season God has you in! Tfs

[aifuaifu]

I said WOW too! Joy does not look 47! She looks to be in her early 30s. Very beautiful and confident

[Claudia-ycxk]

I LOVED this episode. People really don't talk about the challenges of being a single Christian in your 30s, it is very hard.
I just want to encourage everyone to stay in the will of God and trust that he listens and he cares.
This year I have been in a relationship with a non believer, I know for a fact this man is not for me yet I compromised alot out of comfortability and loneliness. I also broke my 3 year celibacy ( if I'm being transparent).
My soul was genuinely conflicted each time I saw him cause I knew this man was not for me yet I kept forcing it and forcing it, I was warned multiple times and ignored.
This ended up in such a horrible heart break and having to rebuild myself once again.

Ladies it's not worth !
Stay in prayer, seek God and trust that he loves you enough not to let you settle. X

[lowkey_babe]

Delphine’s transparency and responses are so commendable

[tirhza]

Just turned 30 this year! I’ve been praying for my husband since I was 16 years old. I always thought I was going to be married before 30, this year I was able to let that go and realize that God’s plan is not what I expected it to be. Waiting is hard, but having that little mustard seed of hope of knowing that he will do it for me one day and that it will be good! ❤️🙏🏽

[naturalsbyJae]

“Use Gods mirror to see yourself” an important line to embed in your everybeing 🥰🙏🏾

[ayanaondar]

What a beautiful talk ❤ thanks so much for encouraging! I am 34, single lady and so far I have been trying to enjoy my singleness. There are ups and downs; I want to grow more in knowing Jesus and knowing His heart towards me ❤

[jessrosewillis]

It was the line for me “you’re golden, get out on the dance floor of life - just keep living”
Many need to hear this 🙏🙏🙏

[ifewitlovegodslove]

Turning 30 next week, still single and my ever thoughtful big sis decided to share this video with me 😊 trusting GOD on this journey. GOD’S best is worth waiting for. It’s not easy waiting, but I’d rather wait than regret. Grateful to be surrounded by those who understand how it is to be single in one’s 30s especially as a Believer who’s trying to please GOD.