I NEVER dated before 26. If You're Single in Your 20s, watch this.

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WHO AM I?
Hey there, I’m Cinzia DuBois. I’m a part-time, self-funded PhD student and YouTuber, Podcaster and writer. I’ve been creating videos for over thirteen years. I discuss productivity, personal development, PhD, academia and mental well-being on this channel. On my main channel, I talk about all things dark and ancient history, literature and folklore.

[cass]

For anyone out there feeling alone or weird for being single in their 20s, I didn’t have my first proper boyfriend until I was 27. And I honestly don’t feel that it was “too late” or that I was “behind”. It happened exactly when I was ready.

[xxxlegend]

I once read a comment of women said” my best years didn’t start until my 30s” and it gives me so much hope for me as in my 20s

[hermunkulus]

I’m 32 (male) and never been in a relationship due to my social anxiety.

It’s a tough and frustrating scene.

[whereami]

Not being interested in dating and waiting till you are is not the same as actively trying to find a relationship and not being able to. It is very embarrassing for the latter

[dismiggo]

I'm nearly 22. Due to bullying and my upbringing, I have terrible social skills; I can't even make friends. I have several mental health related issues and all of my "friends"/acquaintances from High School have "normal" social lives. Honestly I sometimes think that I am a lost cause, but this video gave me a bit of hope, and motivation to keep working on myself. Thanks for that.

[authoremilyjosephine]

Young ladies, BE PATIENT! Impatience breeds bad decisions. I dated one guy when I was 20-21. He was the first and only man I dated for years. He was a big mistake. The next guy I waited for. I was 34 when we met. We've now been married 18 years, and he was totally worth the wait. Oh, and I was virgin until we got married when I was 35. That's not a bad thing. PS...

I'm 53, and that thing she said about aging? Spot on, lol.

[ExLibris-Alys]

As someone who’d been married and divorced by 30 I can absolutely see the sense in learning about yourself before anyone else.

[mangoher]

I'm 22 and I've been going crazy worrying that I'm a freak for never having done anything romantic or wanting to. I feel uncomfortable and tired just thinking about dating, but also feel like a weirdo when my friends talk about relationships or all of their cool experiences. I found this video and everyone in the comments at the perfect time. I'll try to be more accepting of myself from now on!

[victory]

This is so comforting... I thought I was alone. I'm almost 27 and I've never dated.

[miriamabdulhadi]

I'm 26 now and I honestly feel so worried that I'll end up with someone only to settle down and not for love … but your words are so true. I'm going to focus on building the life that I love instead of waiting for the love of my life .

[illdie]

This really spoke to me. I'm 25 right now and never dated, and now I have a lot of trouble getting over the regret and how unprepared I feel not having done the song and dance in my teens. It's really crazy how much pressure society puts on us to "get it together" right away. I needed to hear those points you made about how much I and my circumstances will change over the coming years, and the higher value you've gotten from dating in your early thirties. And that "date yourself, and give yourself the wonderful romantic life you want" really hit home. Thank you so much!

[myrtila]

21 year old female here and I loved this video! I have barely even talked to guys, let alone date. Nothing religious, nothing trauma-related, it just happened. My degree consists of mostly girls and I have never encountered a person to whom I felt attracted. Even the last friend who had 0 experience in dating like me, recently entered the dating world. I, on the other hand, hope I will find someone some day but I’m in no rush and it is definitely not a priority of mine right now. I loved your story and what you said about liking yourself more now that you’re older!

[SuperHappyNotMerry]

I'm 28 and I used to feel so much shame for not being in a relationship. seeing all your friends enter "new stages of life" and seeing them prioritize their romantic relationships it became increasingly obvious to me that, in the current circles I'm in, not having a romantic partner may well mean I end up alone. at 23-26 I was so ashamed and embarrassed of never having been in a relationship. at 28, I'm glad I never succumbed to the pressure. sometimes you do have to work on yourself and your trauma before being able to enter into a HEALTHY relationship. I also have that same fear of men and I just know, without healing some, I would have probably just traumatized myself even further if I had dated/had sex just to "get it over with". mind you, I am on the asexual spectrum so that is a contributing factor to my not physically needing sex (which I can understand may be a reason why some people go into relationships they aren't completely excited about).

right now I'm cautiously open to anything but I still have work to do to get to where I feel safe enough to actually have a relationship. and recognizing that, because of this past history of trauma, I should not rush into anything no matter how old I get

[floralfancy]

I've never dated in my life, I'm terrified of making the first steps. I'm scared of being judged and rejected, made a fool of, not being good enough for someone, just the imagining the process makes me feel even worser and want to hide in a shell. I think Love is a scary thing, imagine falling in love with a bad person, but you can't control it.

[BriannadaSilva]

As an almost-30 year old who started so many things late due to a strict religious background, I relate to your story so much, and this video was genuinely so encouraging. Thank you.

[emilylicence]

This really resonated with me. I’m 26 and have never been in a relationship or had my first kiss or anything like that. I have watched my friends who are younger than me and family members get into relationships while I’m continuously single. One of my friends often pressure me to get onto dating sites and I tried once but just don’t think it’s for me. I would like to be in a relationship one day but it also does scare me. When I was younger it used to bother me more than it does now but it still does get to me every now and then. It also doesn’t help that I can’t tell if people are flirting with me, I think they’re just being friendly and the people I do get crushes on are always unavailable as they’re in relationships. I have been to university but never experienced finding anyone there cos I didn’t like to go clubbing like everyone else did. I am also really busy in my life now so wouldn’t have time for a relationship. This video has helped and given me hope that it might just happen later in life for me and that’s ok.

[nriamond]

I'm nearly 39 and got married a year ago to my first ever partner that I met at 34. And I think that I looked fantastic in my wedding dress 😃 There is no "too late". I find it bizarre that there are young people in their early twenties or even teenagers that think they have already missed their opportunities to date someone because they have no experience yet - they are SO young!
Yes, sometimes I envy a bit those people that meet the love of their life as a teenager (friends of me are in their late 20s, have been together for 10 years and are getting married soon) because they had the chance to see their partner grow and share more of their life. But I'm NOT envious of all the people that got married super young and get divorced in their early or mid twenties ... And I don't think I missed out on anything in general. I didn't have all those relationship struggles and tearful brake-ups, what a loss ... not! Being single has its perks and people who permanently in relationships are missing out on something, too. I'm happy that I had a life of my own and were living alone before I moved in with my partner.

[jeffcurry]

As a man that spent his life pushing his literary and writing dreams to the side to meet societal expectations of getting a good career so I can be a good provider, serving my country in uniform, and then having two failed marriages that were both devastating in their different ways, I can say that there is no rush to do anything outside of explore yourself and become who you are. I am in my early 40s, having spent the last two decades living for expectations rather than personal happiness, my recovery is creating small fissures in the walls I've built around me and I can feel the warm light shining through. Pursue yourself first. That is my advice. Thank you, Cinzia, for this lovely message.

[ceooflonelinessinc.]

I’m going to turn 34 soon. I never experienced any kind of romantic contact through my life. I never had a hug, a date, a kiss, or something as a relationship. The depressing part is that I put myself out there: I asked women out, I signed up on dating sites or joined new groups to meet new people. But every girl rejected me before I had something as a date.
More and more I think it is due to my disability (Fetal alcohol spectrum disorder) I am suffering from. It seems that whenever I tell women, I only work minimum wage jobs, they seem to be less interested in me. Once a woman even told me, I am a loser for working as a dishwasher.


The older I get, the more depressed I have become. It feels devasting going though life without any kind of intimacy, being rejected over and over again, being told you are not even good enough to get on a date with…

[MissMCwuffles]

Thank you, I'm about to hit my late 20s and I was starting to lose hope.
I believe that my view of having low self-worth has contributed a lot to my singleness. You give a hopeful perspective.