Being single in your 30s

Let your voice be heard in one of my next videos!

The title of this video was slightly clickbait, because I don't really take the comments in question as "hate" comments, per se. Some of them were mean and hateful, yes, but I think in some ways they were also sincere. So let's address them, and talk about it!

If you're a woman who has experience being single in your 30s, 40s, 50s or beyond, I would love to get your thoughts on some of the things people say about not settling down and getting married in your 20s. Do you agree or disagree?

Your perspective may be helpful for other women who are having similar emotions/thoughts, and who get the same comments. And of course, it could also offer a different perspective to the people who make them.

Please get in contact with me to find out how you can participate in this special project. Thanks!

Like it? Share it!

------------------------------------

------------------------------------

Holla @cha girl
Twitter: @lorettachao
Instagram: @bylorettachao

(Also available via iTunes and Google Play)

[wherestheexit]

I’m 34 never married, no kids..not even dating...I’ve worked my whole adult life and never go out. I know why I’m single af.

[miathompson]

I got married in my early twenties; my younger sister panicked when she reached 30 and found herself single. When she was 31 she met and married a man who was aware how much my sister wanted to get married. Unfortunately he turned out to be an awful husband; he emotionally and financially abused her. He was a complete control freak. Thankfully she is now in her 40s and in a long term relationship with a lovely man. Please do not get into a relationship from a place of desperation; it can only lead to heartbreak and trouble.

[cancunstresstherapy]

To ask for comments ONLY WOMEN is against the LAW. Is discriminatory to MEN...haven´t you Heard about GENDER EQUALITY?

[thialitamoura]

If a “good” men don’t date you because you are in your 30 they are not that good, are they…? Someone who truly loves you will not be bothered by that

[adararelgnel]

I feel really sorry for single women who are getring older... so many of my friends just havent found the right guy yet. Its not easy these days

[chrishidayat]

Was married and now single and inly do casual dating.. Its really fun, you r together because you want to and not because your trap due to the contract.. Over years you lost your attraction and sex life but still you r stuck together.. Just casual dating is so much more fun..

[kimeunsoo]

Unsolicited advice (since I'm a guy) - you better hurry up. dating market does not care about your goals, aspirations, feminist ideals, etc. physical youth and beauty are without a doubt the most prized characteristics in the dating market. no matter how you deny it, this is the cold hard fact, much like how men with superior capital are highly sought after by women and no woman would ever imagine marrying a guy in their 30s or 40s that have no asset or financial potential. if you are over the age of 30, start getting wrinkles around your eyes and neck, you are less likely to turn on a man because your appearance signals "aging, less fertile." you may think that men are shallow and after superficial things, but that's the undeniable nature of the game. and when women are constantly patting each other on the back, wondering why there are no good men around, they are simply refusing to come to terms with reality. just look at you for instance. why are you soliciting other women for how you should feel about being single in the 30s? if you want to know why you are perceived by men in certain way, shouldn't you ask men about how they feel about single women in their 30s? what you're doing would be equivalent to me, a man, asking a fellow man what goes on in woman's body in 3rd trimester. come on, seriously. selectively filtering out what hurts to hear never helps. a good looking, eligible guy would've thought about marrying you when you were 25. that dude is probably married now. now you are still single, but making your own money, and you look for a guy who makes at least as much as you or more. honey, they are already married. or they're looking for someone in their 20s. not you guys. your options become exponentially narrower over time. and it just accelerates once you are put in that 30-something sex-and-the-city category. your value in the dating market just plummets. so dear, please don't take it the wrong way when people look at you with a slight dose of worry and pity. it's the kind of look that you would give naturally to someone who's wasting their precious time away, and delusional that life will just be fine. just fine? because you have your own grand ideas? you are your own person? because you're a new age woman? sorry hon. those things don't mean anything to men. wake up.

[joeyclooney]

"certain mèn have perceptions, maybe, or opinions, and these contribute to a certain perception in society...". BS. Its not il-formed opinions based on perceptions, its life experience.

[ashleyelizabeth]

this year decides if im going to be single or not..ill be 29. scary

[deficator]

Im turning 30 soon in all honestly i only look up to 30 year old women for advice but id only date younger than me. I feel like most 30 year old females are mature and strong. Younger girls come of as youthful and very pretty which appeals to most guys ready to settle down.

[keepingitsimple]

Monogamous relationships are a thing of the past.

[ccwnoob]

My daughters are in college now and I hope they seek true happiness ... not marriage, money, etc. Marriage isn't for everyone, so if you choose to be single, fine! But there's someone out there for everyone. Chris Rock said it best: "Even if you a crack ho, just make sho yo man a crack dealer!"

[nonebee]

Its good that single women in their 30s have avoided most of the dramas associated with marriage at an early age. Looking after your husband and children takes away many years of your life. I am glad I am 34 and still single. And many men in today's generation are not worth fighting for. You get liars, cheaters and opionated, narrow minded men everywhere, maybe life has put them there. But I hope younger girls will also not fall for such men. I have fallen in love with leading a single life where I get to do things peacefully as per my wish. So I think I am in a much better place right now.

[shaalis]

1:40 seconds wasted. I know I know....My time to waste but... honestly....if you wanted the POV from one side then yer missing the other half of the perspective. Being single in your 30s is a MAKE or BREAK time in this economy of 50hr work weeks, lower than average pay and the rising cost of living. Plus now that social media has made dating a resume bait and switch sorta disposable human meat market, how do ya get on with that? Make time, I supose. But that COST is different between the genders. Equality or whatever, for men it's a very financially draining thing. For women, you have to put your safety on the line more than men. Look at homosexual relationships and find where communication seems FAR better honed. At least in those relationships you are talking on the same wavelength as the person you are dating. now put some feminism in that, women need to step up approaching the men THEY LIKE. No game. Flirt ya, but no mind games. Men don't have the time or energy for BS. And MEN need to soften up a little and be open to being emotionally hurt more and learn to deal with rejection and ect. My advice is if you are practical about it, you try to date as complimentary as possible. That could mean only in th esame tax bracket or above [this differs greatly for the genders]. It could mean admitting that you can't date somebody poor, or maybe you want a more simple life so money is less important and finding somebody who feels the same way is good. Men often realize you can't shoot for that 10/10 when they are a 6 or 7. Women also need to realize that you are going to get rejected a lot if you wave the "I want a child" ard at younger guys as many don't even want to THINK about kids until they get a good financial stability and THAT costs a lot of time. It isn't simple at all. Know thyself first. Try to stay positive. But don't think things are equal. They aren't.

[LuckyBraxton]

That's going to be a good one! I hope you get a bunch of submissions. Good to see a post from you!!

[tonysamsenthaikhambaoxaych]

Im a 35 year old guy single with no children and I love women around the same age as i am heck even older women sometimes someone in their 20's to late 20's are considered the still young and beautiful type to most peoples standard and ive found them to be attractive too i know where im most comfortable at and would rather be i know what im sexually and emotionally attracted to and what i what out of love but anyways if im considered one the many good men type of guys out there "COUNT ME IN" good men definitely wants yall still 100 no ones perfect not even me 😶💛 🐉🐉 🐉 i heard a alot of women say Sexy isnt always something pretty but the confidence and muturity in a person is lol but I prefer to be the funny type =D

[Mellyyr]

Why is everyone argueing with each other? It's pointless to get into fights with people you don't even know. Completely a time waster and pointless. The other thing is they could be a Narcissist, Sociopath or Dark Empath you never know or someone dangerous 😱.

[FB-gteu]

A message to women in their 30's:
We do not want you does not mean we hate you.
You cannot admit the harsh truth without blaming men for their choices.
My body my choice

[zippy_uk]

"From the age of 18 I know what I am entitled to!"

But that was 20 years ago. We men have a say.

Use it or lose it.

[jamesmanter]

I’m 36 yrs old. I went and got my 20 yr old housewife. Good luck getting anyone worth anything. Your gonna have to work till you die