BPD Symptoms: Chronic Emptiness

In this video I'll be talking about the seventh BPD symptom: chronic emptiness.

TIMESTAMPS:
0:00 Intro
0:39 Chronic Emptiness Explained
2:28 Chronic Emptiness in Relationships
4:12 Stop Procrastinating
6:48 Add Novelty
8:14 Expand Your Social Circle
9:34 Resist Feelings of Shame
11:07 Outro

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Disclaimer: This channel is for general informational purposes only and does not constitute a replacement for the practice of psychotherapy or other professional health care services. The use of information on this channel is at the user’s own risk. The content of this channel is not intended to be a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Users should not disregard or delay in obtaining professional advice for any conditions they may have and should seek the assistance of their health care professionals for any such conditions.

[cathywyman]

Feeling empty is one of the worst things about BPD. I have no idea who I am, what I like, I am an empty shell.

[Burgerbros]

One of the biggest struggles I have is no matter what I do or try to do, I feel absolutely nothing. No joy, nothing. It's like nothing satisfies me.

[Plsbringtea]

I love how you described this feeling as “longing” - that’s exactly what it feels like. Describing it as emptinesses felt too cold & vague (and honestly confused me)

I made some of the most impulsive and destructive decisions to rip these feelings off of me.

Thankfully, I’ve grown and healed a lot and this is more rare now.
But it feels so good to hear this described.

[IceQueenZoey]

I do not have BPD, but i can strongly relate to this feeling. It might be my autism and adhd, or something else entierly, but I always feel hollow, lacking. I find this new thing, a new place or hobby, and I hyperfocus on it, everything feels better, but then it becomes boring, it becomes the usual, and it looses that power to fill the void inside. I'm always all or nothing, if i can't do something to 100%, why bother? This has lead to me burning out twice in the span of two years, and I'm honestly sick of it. I'm constantly tired, empty and always reaching for something to fill up the empty space inside.

The tips in this video are really good, I will be happy to try them

[johnhumphries]

I think your videos are very good, and extremely helpful. I’m surprised and think it’s a shame that more people aren’t seeing it. It’s great to see things from the perspective of someone with BPD rather than an expert who only knows the symptoms second hand. I just got out of a relationship with a woman with BPD and your videos have helped me understand her and what went wrong and shift from anger and confusion to understanding and sympathy.

[neilmiller]

I struggle a lot with this feeling of boredom. It’s good to know I’m not the only one. I like the idea of trying something new everyday

[tinasajn]

With my BPD nothing seems to fill the void, but with these constructive tips you give it seems at least a bit more manageable. So, thank you for letting me know I am not alone in it. The emptiness is, as you state, just a very human longing for fulfilment and meaningfulness.

[drc]

I am reasonably sure that my wife suffers from QBPD. Your videos are superb in helping me understand her behaviour and some of the things she has done. One of the things she does is to deliberately maintain a very active social life, sometimes to the detriment of our family and myself. This has been a source of massive tension as it went out of control at times. The problem is that she has developed some inappropriate friendships that have resulted in her losing a sense of boundary. This has been very destructive to our relationship. Your video has given me a greater understanding of why she has been doing this. Thank you!

[asya]

Thank you for this really helpful video! For me, its very hard to not procrastinate because of the sense of emptiness. I can’t get myself to feel motivated enough to do anything because in the ebd it feels so pointless. I dont want to study because i dont feel excited to become anything. Its as if I dont have a purpose in this life. I question why I am alive, and what is the point in living for me.

[raulcatana]

Know that your videos that are High quality content especially when comparing with other BPD information sources, give me hope, strenght and help me manage very eficiently my symotoms. Thank you for taking front your time to help us magaging to have a decent life. Ghid blless you!

[Crabby]

Thanks so much for this advice :) Funny, when I was a kid/teenager I thought that I was missing an organ in my chest because the emptiness felt so acute, it was an actual physical feeling. I'm lucky to be still alive considering all I did to try an fill/escape that feeling.

[mesholberatsonallibi]

i don’t think i even know me, my intrests change so much and i will change who i am a lot and what i look like and in the end i’m just sitting in my room wondering wtf i’m doing

[kreese]

I am so impressed with your wisdom and know well that it comes from hard work. Thanks.

[baptizedbyfire]

I can't thank you enough for these videos. All of my life I have been really unaware of what is going on and happening with me. Your videos really help to thin out the isolation I feel. You really describe exactly what I experience every day.

[mrdad-zlzl]

What I found most helpful was to work on procrastination. I regarded my constant procrastination as a bad habit but never considered it could be influencing my least favorite BPD symptom. It makes so much sense.

[LindsaySchroeder-jc]

This was so helpful. I have bpd and bipolar 2, your tips help for both. But I'm currently struggling with this intense emptiness feelings, hence watching this video, which makes me feel a bit better.

[jocelynflowers]

Idk ever since I could remember, I have always felt empty and detached. It’s my default. What other illnesses are there that can explain that? I don’t think I’m depressed. I like to go out, party, dance, travel, connect. I don’t think I have BPD. Im not loud. But when I get mad, I can lash at people with my words in a more so blunt tone I will admit. I’m not insecure in my self image. I am a confident person. But I feel ego less. The way people talk about me helps me understand how I show up in the world because I just don’t have a firm concept of my ego. It’s like I take notes on the way people describe me. Because I don’t know. I need my alone time to try to process my emotions or else I will freak out

[Tailionis]

I only feel this emptiness when I don't have a fp or they are doing something I don't like. I'm also a male and would never hurt my fp or leave them on purpose. So I don't understand the boredom thing. But they always abandon me, or I run when I know they are going to leave me.

[jilewa]

Thanks for another amazing explanation Kayla!
The longing or yearning for meaning or purpose is much more descriptive than emptiness. Because even when surrounded by stimulus/overstimulated I feel a lack of purpose. Even pointlessness. And that impacts my sense of self and identity. The SMART goals thing is something I learnt long ago but I probably need to revisit to get daily actions going that are linked to core values. Creating consistency in self and less 'gaps' and emptiness. Such a fine balance between perfectionism and feeling worthless huh 😉

[Jalentheuntold]

This girl don't miss! Keep it up! Thanks for your videos!