BPD Boredom and Emptiness

Many of my clients often report the experience of boredom that is intertwined with sadness, depression, and most of all emptiness. In this video we are going to sort this out and I’m going to give you some tips on how to lessen and control that boredom.

What is boredom - a fleeting state that results from monotonous tasks or limited external stimulation. There’s nothing going on, no one is calling, texting, or Skyping you.

What is emptiness - feeling of without meaning, purpose or substance, or feeling hollow. You feel like no matter what you do or how much you do it, you’ll never fill up.

Boredom was initially part of the early criteria to identify BPD, it was emptiness or boredom, but that was removed, leaving emptiness only. This was done because it wasn’t discriminating enough from other disorders, as many disorders have components of boredom, such as depression, ADHD, impulse control disorders, to name a few.

Emptiness is similar to boredom, it is closely related to feeling hopeless, lonely, useless, worthless, and isolated, and is a robust predictor of depression and suicidal ideation.

Emptiness does not equal boredom and boredom can be its own construct. Many clients report boredom with life, others, and themselves. I think it can be a part of emptiness that drives impulsivity, depression, unstable self-concept, and a component of anxiety. Recognizing your tendency for emptiness and boredom can help you determine if this is a part of your core content, as it is in many of my clients.

Daniel J. Fox, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist in Texas, international speaker, and a multi-award winning author. He has been specializing in the treatment and assessment of individuals with personality disorders for over 15 years in the state and federal prison system, universities, and in private practice. His specialty areas include personality disorders, ethics, burnout prevention, and emotional intelligence.

He has published several articles in these areas and is the author of:

Thank you for your attention and I hope you enjoy my videos and find them helpful and subscribe. I always welcome topic suggestions and comments.

[amycoomer]

Sometimes I feel bored but at the same time too sad or anxious to do anything

[humaali]

Only a person with bpd knows how dark that emptiness can get.

[little_miss_vintage]

I feel bored and empty when I am alone. Wish it wasn’t that way because I have plenty of things I could be getting done with my “alone time” but I guess I feel too sad and empty to care so I just sit there instead feeling depressed

[bfhtom]

Everyday for the last couple years I’ve turned my PC on to play a game and I end up just staring at my screen for a few minutes before realizing I’m too lazy to even do something I enjoy.

[stephme]

This is why I drink and smoke because I feel like this empty boredom and whenever I tell people that they don’t get it :/

[Monicalia]

Emptiness and boredom are one of my main symptoms and struggles. I feel like I'm constantly bored. I don't have any hobbies and the one that used to be my passion has become my main source of misery and unhappiness. The fact I'm also a perfectionist with a ''if I'm not immediately good at it then I give up'' mindset is not helping. I've always dreamt of very adventurous life, full of journeys, unexpected events and days being vey different from one another. Yes I got the absolute opposite and it makes me feel bored, broken and empty. That boredom is really toxic, because in that state my brain wonders to the worst places and before I notice I feel worthless and useless. Luckily I'm moving out in 3 months and starting a really good job, so I will see new places and meet new people. It will definitely be a healthy change for me.

[theblanketfortcohort]

AH
This underpins my whole life... I get so depressed because I'm constantly going through these cycles of Finding a new passion>obsessing about it>becoming dissillusioned>feeling like everything is hopeless.
I've been like that most of my life...

[marwamustafa]

Emptiness and boredom is simply my being I used to fill this emptiness with alcohol, drugs and putting myself in danger. that feeling that used to made me feel. But now I succeed to fill it with drawing, painting and gardening but it is still empty and lacking the sense of life. NO ESCAPE

[raeesafarhad]

I love the part where it says "I am not causing the emptiness. It's not because of something I am doing." ❤️❤️

[simplym_]

I want to almost cry because I finally found someone who understands. 😭😭 People just say I'm crazy but I knew there was something else. 😭

[johncloois]

Depression, anger, boredom, emptiness, all linked, probably more.

[Totyi]

This is very useful thank you. But the problem is that sometimes I can't even get myself do anything, especially go out of the house. Or talk to people. And at the same time, boredom annoys me and I feel guilty about it.

[imnotanalien]

Dr. Jordan Peterson talks about the importance of purpose in life. Without it you can go downhill… Purpose… something that turns that lever on in the morning. For me, it’s physical type projects… painting, taking care of garden. Also it helps to always have small projects nothing overwhelming. Purpose that requires action and discipline each day…I think our brain was designed for having purpose…you must do ‘something’ to go forward in life. That helps me the most.

[isabellekeyzer]

the boredom comes from lack of being appreciated, lack of feeling you can be an enrichment to life

[clarelg]

i guess the irony here is i was already bored when i found this so it was super hard to concentrate 😅

[jheankharpacina]

wrote this the other day, “this loneliness will not fade away. it’s been a part of me for so long now, it’s hard to live without it. there’s just this hole that nothing and no one could ever fill. i could laugh with friends and feel genuine joy but it’s a fleeting feeling like every moment in my life feels like. after all the smiles and laughter, this heaviness seem to be last thing that i can feel. it ruins the aftertaste of being drunk in little happiness, in little joy. there’s only one thing that i wish to have, a day or a month or a year of not feeling anything at all, just a little happiness and self-acceptance. it’s hard to live like this. to feel alone when there are people who care for me, who love me. why do i feel like this? why am i like this? i feel so alone. sometimes all i want is to fade away forever and i don’t want to feel like that as long as i live. i need saving but i can’t save myself. ”

and now i’m here watching chronic emptiness videos because that’s exactly what i feel right now.

[sunshineyrainbows]

Feels like there's a deep, empty black hole in my chest. Gives me actual chest pain like heartache. Now I haven't been in a relationship in four years because I know I'm not healthy enough for one, but wow, nothing else really fills this emptiness– only romance (fantasy-driven, unhealthy, projecting unrealistic perfection romance that doesn't last) and alcohol ease the ache for a short time, then make it worse in the end.

It makes me literally go crazy and hit my head (physical pain seems to help distract from the mental pain for a few seconds) just trying to get rid of this empty, soul rotting feeling. What's wrong with my brain? I just want to be normal.

Really feels like I'm rotting inside, just waiting for the day I finally snap and end it all.

[rebeckaa]

I have been chronically bored since birth. My whole life has been about escaping boredom and filling the emptiness. Living with social anxiety, that hasnt been an easy task. I have always wondered why I couldnt l7sten in school, watch the news, red a book. Listen to people. I always disapoear into a fog. When boredom is at its worst, it feels like I am in a isolation cell, get no stimulation whatsoever and that I have to stay there for the rest of my life. I never knew other people dealt with this

[Anni]

This is the first video I watch on BPD and my mind is blown. I never realised that my feeling of emptiness could come from my disorder.. I just thought I was crazy.

[Pixielocks]

THANK YOU!!! <3 "Chronic feelings of emptiness" was one of the criteria I originally denied when being diagnosed but since quarantine it has been so brutal every single night. Mine seems to be triggered or just coincide with the sun going down/darkness. Great video as always :)