Why You Don't Feel Whole? Emptiness and Living with BPD

In the video, "Struggling with Emptiness and BPD," the concept of emptiness is introduced, explaining its internalized sense and correcting the spelling to "internalized." Factors or traits of emptiness include feeling emotionally numb and experiencing a disconnect between emotions and experiences. An unstable self-image is discussed, followed by the use of anger as a false cover for emptiness. Links to videos on anger are provided. The consequences of using anger as a cover, such as abandonment and rejection, are explored, with a correction from "rejection" to "rejection sensitivity." The video differentiates emptiness from depression and encourages identifying personal feelings of emptiness. A book link on Complex Borderline Personality Disorder is shared, followed by an emotions exercise link. The importance of working with a mental health professional and addressing BPD distortions is highlighted, and strategies for working through maladaptive patterns with BPD are covered. Finally, a link to an anger management video is provided.

Daniel J. Fox, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist in Texas, international speaker, and a multi-award-winning author. He has been specializing in the treatment and assessment of individuals with personality disorders for over 20 years in the state and federal prison system, universities, and in private practice. His specialty areas include personality disorders, ethics, burnout prevention, and emotional intelligence.

He has published several articles and books in these areas and is the author of:

Complex Borderline Personality Disorder: How Coexisting Conditions Affect Your BPD and How You Can Gain Emotional Balance. Available at:

youtube shorts,youtube channel,youtube video,emotions,mental health,facts,emotional facts,youtube short,youtube shorts video,shorts,mental illness,mental health awareness,how to improve mental health,improve mental health,mental health tips,anxiety,dr fox,dr fox shorts,dr fox youtube channel,dr fox bpd,dr fox npd,most viewed youtube shorts,psychology,therapy,depression,therapist,splitting,relationships,relationship advice,healthy relationships
00:00 Introduction
00:38 Struggling with and Emptiness and BPD
00:58 What is Emptiness?
01:08 Internalized Sense of Emptiness
01:30 Emotionally Numb
01:43 Disconnect between emotions and experiences
02:31 Unstable Self Image
03:31 Anger as a False Cover For Emptiness
05:03 Consequences of Using Anger As A Cover - Abandonment and Rejection
06:42 Identifying Emptiness
10:00 Working With With A Mental Health Professional & BPD Distortions
11:45 Working Through Maladaptive Patterns with BPD

[Brittney.Scudder]

Personally, emptiness is the worst part. It constantly feels like something is missing or like something is wrong. It was interesting how anger plays a part. For me, it's I feel everything or nothing at all. I can not seem to find a middle ground. The emptiness for me is this constant ache like your heart is breaking over and over. It's not broken it never fully breaks. it's just in a constant state of breaking. This is like the only way I can explain it.

[ellienick]

I’m someone with bpd and I’m very sensitive to people’s tone of voice. That being said, Dr fox you have one of the most comforting ways of talking I’ve ever heard ! Not only is your advice life changing but your energy is so calming also. Can’t thank you enough 🙏🏼

[jasperthefriendlyghost]

I’ve written a lot about this. I think emptiness for me feels like I have no shape or form or structure, like a mist or a cloud that just floats around. It contributes to my unstable self image because I only take shape when I’m in a relationship, and I take the form of the other person, if that makes sense.
Lately I’ve been feeling more solidified and whole once I stopped being in a relationship. Eventually I think my BPD could go into remission the longer I embrace myself outside of a romantic partner. Another person (or FP) in my life does give me a false sense of feeling full.

I’m still very young and learning how to live. I’m 28 and eventually want to find myself—I’ve just been floating for a while.

[이카렌]

Hi Dr. Fox. I have BPD and Im currently watching your playlist on helping people with bpd. I find your videos so helpful, so encouraging, I feel better and better as I keep watching a new one. For years Ive just been medicated but Ive found that taking the time educate yourself about what you have is key to understand it and thus control it. Thank you for your amazing work and help. You know how to explain it, how to give us tips and you empathize with us and encourage us.

[meirastraley]

This has totally opened up a new line or recovery for me. I have always wondered what triggers my episodes and now i know its not an external trigger that someone does, but a normal world experience that exposes my lack of self image. I am so excited to work on this better in the future

[c.f.singleton]

Thank you SO much Dr Fox for all your amazing, insightful videos.

[werewolf]

First YouTuber I found with BPD expertise, and first BPD content creator I enjoy and learn something from. Thank you. Wanted to get back into therapy but very discouraged, insurance, in person preferred (every therapist now wants telehealth. Fuck that.) I know what I need. I bought your book and Marsha Linehan DBT book. I want to be a psychotherapist which is scary, given my recent diagnosis of BPD. Prev diagnosed cptsd & major depressive & gen anxiety, ANYWAY. We need more people like you! So excited to work with your workbook, and Marsha’s DBT book. Not to say fuck a therapist, but Im kinda discouraged. Thank you. You’re very nice.

[stephbowler]

I absolutely use anger as a cover. It's an emotion I'm very comfortable with; however, it never fixes that emptiness. For me, that emptiness feels like a void, as if no matter what I do it never goes away. I appreciate you bringing insights on how to deal with these feelings.

[lindaweedmark]

My favourite (most helpful) guy on YouTube. I would love if I could be your client. I'm in London Ontario Canada. Planning on buying your guidebook. ❤

[sjensen]

Thank you so much for all you do to help us understand BPD. Your videos have saved my life.

[Prettydog]

I’ve been free from depression for the last 8-10 years so I know my emptiness doesn’t come from it. I think what it is for me is boredom. When I’m with my favorite person, my emotions feel heightened. I often compare being with them to a drug. So other relationships feel boring to me. I wonder if the boredom is tied to my lack of fulfillment in life. Like I’m 26, don’t have a significant other, working stable jobs, but not feeling like it utilizes my talents enough. Then again, even when I did do theatre, which is what I’d rather be doing, I still recall having a sense of boredom around friends who weren’t my favorite person and attachment issues. I wonder if there’s more beyond my lack of fulfillment…. Perhaps it’s identity issues.

[lightrss]

I usually tend to refer to my sense of emptiness as a black hole, a spiral that no matter what I try to put inside gets sucked into oblivion. Is like a sharp pain of having my heart sucked into with whatever I tried to fill with, like my body rejecting it immediately and taking it away into the black hole because is never truly the answer. Is like I'm constantly playing a character that has hints of what I'm supposed to be based on my likes and faint memories from childhood but it never truly lands and leaves me feeling more empty as I'm just a character acting to nobody when alone or being a mirror to other or people that already left to details, way of talking, dressing, acting.

[HotMess]

Emptiness is absolutely the worst part for me. It's gets so bad I don't know what direction to turn to come out of it. How to even help myself or distract myself I guess is the best way to put it. Ive even asked my family about myself so I can try to bring myself up out of that empty void. So this video will help me in so many ways. Thank you for another great video Dr. Fox!!

[girlinamber]

Thank you from my heart dr Fox. You're the best❤

[Av_knows]

To me in my experience with what I believe is BPD, emptiness is the most pervasive and agonizing aspect of it. I get so jealous of people who have loving relationships and a solid support system, none of which I’ve ever had, yet at the same time it seems irreparable. Like I’ve reached a point where I’m incapable of loving or being loved. It makes me feel deeply troubled.

[cloverkitkat]

I’m 45 and have to say overcoming this chronic loneliness/emptiness is the hardest part for me in recovery from BPD. Connection with others, prayer, volunteering especially with people who are really suffering helps me take the focus off of my feelings of emptiness and put it into service for others, getting out of my head, doing the opposite of what I want to do which is dwell, drink, stay in self pity. Any other suggestions?

[hhaannnnaahh]

Bless you Dr Fox! You have such a brilliant bedside manner.

[ozzy]

I've struggled with this overpowering sense of emptiness since I was 9 yrs old... I'm going to be 37 this year...would like to fix that...

[Crystalquartz]

Thank you very much Dr Fox. I have your book, it's EXCELLENT 😊

[My_klei]

Emptyness
Thank you so much
I will watch when I can