The Root of Severe Personality Disorders | OTTO KERNBERG

Otto Kernberg, a pioneer in the field of severe personality disorders and Borderline in particular (and creator of Transference-Focused Psychotherapy), discusses Borderline Personality Disorder from the viewpoint of clinician / ridiculously experienced expert.

[briannalawson]

I am a BPD person and it is extremely hard to cope, with even the smallest situations that might make us feel in a way. I've been treated so poorly it's awoken my neurotic side. I am a trauma survivor, just like the other personality disorders. Trauma can turn us into monsters and make us weak. I have so much trauma from a suicidal mother that those negative thought patterns are nearly day to day. My 2 souls go at war pretty often. I want healing of course, but you intake so much pain, you dont see the present nor the future. I know the other personalitys disorders people can agree with me their parents had no loving and safe connections. I dealt with a lifetime of sexual abuse on and off and extremely unavailable parents. I went through a phase where I didn't want to see my parents on this earth along with me. It's all generational trauma. I wonder pretty often, who I am behind all my trauma, who I couldve been, and who I can become. But all these personality disorders are carried by pain, betrayal, and shame. I want to look forward to healing because nobody should ever be made to feel lesser, to regressed as a child. And it's the kind of hurt that causes pshycial emotional pain. Life ain't easy and the hell if I know why we're put in the positions we're put in. But before you judge us, really *really* know us and our story and it can make us more human. I can say I think for the most part were highly sensitive people with a big heart, and we wish the worst for the people that don't like us. Your decision buddy.

[mjremy]

Thank you, Otto. Very succinct and precise. This was helpful to me.

[painoftheheart]

I think I am doing so much better with help of videos like this one and Dr. Fox and Medcircle. It helps me retain a sense of self awareness and a gauge on things I still need to work on. The integrated sense of self is an aspect I haven't considered in a long time and I recognize I still have a splintered identity. I have separated myself between my logical and emotional selves, one is an adult and one is a child. Sometimes I find myself parenting my other identity when I feel emotionally overwhelmed. Other times I try and hide that part of me and send it away to simmer down like a child being sent to their room. I try not to let that side of me take control.

[cosmofox]

A BPO person is really tricky in my experience. They seem functional and even charismatic, yet they have OCDish thinking, lack of stable identity and an incredibly negative sense of self that gets projected onto every situation.

[targoltran]

In my experience dealing with an individual friend who has a personality disorder, they are often totally unaware as to why they are the way they are. In simple terms, it could be lack of parental care in childhood which can potentially lead to failures in relationships, and future occupational related problems.

[karynegough]

Essentially, they’re people who are not in coherence, or contact, with their soul. They are free floating. That’s why they feel empty.

[accordionSWE]

Lacking a permanent view on people and oneself is a major problem. In practical terms it can cause problems in a family household if a disordered partner use the whole salary to buy a handmade handbag from France instead of financing the monthly household expenses. It can become quite chaotic and the suffering person do not understand why, because the handbag have such great power in every imaginable sense because it bring such meaning to the empty life.

[martharigby]

What does he say at 0:29 “there is some limited area of ——“

I don’t understand what he’s saying

[TheKrysis]

Hi I have been diagnosed with mixed personality disturbance with depression and anxiety, Wtf does that mean? I am to take aripripazole along with my sertraline and have cat as a form of therapy.

[guyreid]

Sounds like you have a lot of cluster b stuff going on - mixed bpd / npd is my guess - it’s so common

[PP_]

It's never as mild as you think it is with these folks...