How do I stop attracting narcissists & ignoring the red flags they display? Dear MentalHealness Ep5

On this episode of DEAR MENTALHEALNESS i break down a quick story from a survivor that said she did a lot of research on narcissists so she thought she could willingly go into a relationship with one because she thought she could handle them.

Welcome my channel! If this is your first time seeing my face or hearing my voice, my name is Lee and I am a self aware narcissist. I have narcissistic personality disorder ( NPD ) and I've been in therapy for my personality disorder since 2017 and it has definitely changed my life because without it, I would have lost everything.

The point of these videos is to help bring awareness from the other side of the narcissistic *buse spectrum. All my videos give perspective on why many narcissists do what they do and the possible different reasons behind them. The victims and survivors get validation and the Narcissists (those that are willing) get to see that you can get help and that you are not alone.

You can find me on -

Click the BEACON up top for direct links. Thank you so much and lets HEAL together

[jojocjc]

We gotta get comfortable with trusting ourselves without the need of proof. The body vibrates naturally with what’s in alignment. Often times people, environments, things, food, even some medication can make us sick when we come in contact with energy that does not belong. Be well✨Learn yourself so you can Trust yourself 💜

[winxclubstellamusa]

If she keeps attracting them then 100% her parents were cluster bs! That’s her subconscious comfort/familiarity zone which leads her to be incapable of identifying the signs of an abuser, and also not being able to take signs of abuse as seriously as she should.

[roxanne]

Agree, ignoring red flags is a big misstake. I did it with my ex, even having knowledge about covert narcissism. I suspected he was a narcissist, but I was in a vulnerable period in my life and he was helpful and attentive. I decided to ignore that and decided to leave him when the devaluation would start. Well, when it did, 1.5 year later, I was madly in love with him and leaving him was hell. I am 5 month no contact and still crying.
Learn as much as you can about narcissism and stay away! You will fall in love, they don't!

[Chronically_Misunderstood]

It’s all in the gut… always trust your gut. It was addressed in another comment, our body will tell us something’s wrong. Your body vibrates and feels out the bad energy. You can absorb it and honestly take on the energy of the person you’re with. You begin to act like the narcissist and that’s why we are able to believe we’re the narcissist! Fights can be apocalyptic… listen to your body. ❤️

[samia]

Woooo!! Red flags can not get redder with this guy. Learning about narcissists won’t save you from them, you gotta do the true deep inner healing and create rock solid boundaries.

[wishingonthemoon]

You’re not attracting narcissists, they’re not picky. You’re letting them in. You keep them out with BOUNDARIES and *ending* the relationship *before* it becomes a relationship when you see the red flags. Walk away from that sh*t

[wandmayeslupik]

Oooo!!! Last March....My narcissist ex best friend of 8 years.... said to me.. " I was supposed to marry this girl...but she had ' mental health' problems and would not have made a good girlfriend ( girlfriend???? You mean WIFE!!!!)...".and then right after her I was supposed to get married again...but she had ' mental health issues' and would not have made a good girlfriend( what???
So SOON as he told me this ..i was like.... ReD Who's the common denominator here HIM!!!! HE has mental health And when he tried to "discard" ME...i pegged him as mentally ill!!!! NPD!!!!

[rachellewis]

We all want to be the one to break the pattern

[soniaharo]

She studied the narcissist, but she has to study herself too. Been there, done that. Delusional, magical thinking, wanting to change him, the "pick me" attitude. 3 things I recognize here:

- She's obviously trauma bonded and blinded by cognitive dissonance.
- She's way too familiar with abuse so probably comes from a lot. (that's also why she feels like she has to "handle it", she doesn't feel like she has other way of living)
- She wants to upper-hand the narcissist because she wants to feel control and power in all the craziness.

The key for this girl is to understand she doesn't have to fit-crap to narcissists. There are other people out there.

[VirgGypsy]

What I use to say to my ex Narcissist was, "Who was the common denominator? YOU."

[shereealbino]

Lee, I enjoy your videos. Whenever I get those feelings of longing for a relationship, I take a look at any of your talks….it reminds me how many mistakes I made listening to my heart instead of what I can see clearly. I closed my eyes too many times and suffered willingly. Not anymore. You keep me focused on my needs, vs forgetting how much crap those fantasies cost. Luv ya!

[LisLara]

You're so right. The sense of getting educated about this topic is to STAY AWAY from them, not to stay with them😳

[beverlytaylor]

We overlook red flags for the same reason we overlook flaws - grace. Much like confusing assertiveness with bad manners, there's a fine line. The playing field levels with the simple distinction between acceptable and unacceptable behavior/treatment.

[rannen]

It’s not as simple as it sounds but it’s so important to do it. Whoever you are hope you are in a much better place emotionally and that you know you can get the healthy relationship you want where you are treated with respect. Take care of yourself and keep making choices that benefit you!! Even if it feels really difficult or impossible you can break free!! It was good of you to be honest and email Lee! Life can be so unfair but it’s possible for better! All the best to you and your future! 🙏🏼❤️

[MELtheJ]

"overly honest up front"
So true!

[genevamorgan]

This was such a great video. You said some real stuff several times. To hear you say things like You're so scared of being lonely you're going to let somebody break you down is powerful. I want to tell my story but I don't know where to begin. And also when I go over the whole story I just think wow how could I be so blind? What is going on in my head that I allow this?

[godsfavor]

You hit the nail on the head 🔨 Stop 🛑 look 👀 and listen 👂 to this life saving lesson. It’s much needed in this day and time. Pay attention and keeping it moving because you don’t deserve that kind of treatment. Thanks again Lee! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[daniellecowley]

You can miss red flags because all narcs are not the same and they run on confusing you in the first place.

[majorsolutionsllc]

It is a personality disorder!🤯That’s like me saying I can cure schizophrenia without ever being a doctor or them using medication. They think and behave differently.

[ThePrettyMiss]

Really nice content! Keep up with your good work! Your videos helping me so much with my healing journey 💪🏾