The WEIRD Reason You're Attracting Emotionally Unavailable People

►► Want 9 Effortless Ways to Initiate Conversation With Someone?
Go to. . .

▼
Don’t Miss Out! Subscribe to my YouTube channel now.
I post new love life advice for you every weekend.

▼
Do you attract emotionally unavailable people? Or maybe you have a pattern of meeting good people and pushing them away because “something doesn’t feel right.”

If this sounds familiar, you may struggle to trust your own decisions when it comes to love. This often leads to us looking to others to validate our choices and tell us we’re doing the right thing (which can be dangerous for many reasons).

So how can you get out of this cycle? In today’s new video, I share 7 simple steps you can take to make better decisions in love and start building self-trust again.

▼ Get My Latest Dating Tips and Connect With Me… ▼

▼ Chapters ▼

0:00 – 1:15 – Attracting Emotionally Unavailable People
1:15 – 2:36 – “How Can I Trust Myself?
2:36 – 5:12 – Letting External Sources Tell Us What Is Valuable
5:12 – 6:12 – Where Does This Even Come From?
6:12 – 7:44 – #1 Stop Giving Everyone Else So Much Credit
7:44 – 9:49 – #2 Don’t Let Friends Tell You What to Think
9:49 – 12:26 – #3 Know What You’re Optimizing for
12:26 – 14:44 – #4 Give Yourself Permission to Make Wrong Decisions
14:44 – 15:48 – #5 Start Building the Muscle in Small Ways
15:48 – 19:21 – #6 Leaning Into Something Can Make It Great
19:21 – 20:37 – “Love at First Sight”
20:37 – 25:28 – #7 Remember That People Take Their Cues From Us
25:28 – 26:20 – What to Say Next

[krishna]

You're valuing them more than they deserve, so they treat you as they please

[desertrose]

If you treat them like stars, they will always treat you like fans. Treat them like equals and they will do the same, regardless of their social status, wealth, seemingly popularity because they are good at one area only.

[stayhappylittlemermaid]

You need time to think, time to dream, time to talk, and time to do nothing at all

[JDfaith]

Sometimes men come off emotionally available at the beginning but it’s not until weeks or even months in you notice behaviors that signal avoidant attachment wounds. So it’s not always a lack of self trust. And when the behaviors begin your instincts kick in. It’s important to trust those instincts.

[reginapolo]

When I stop caring about other's opinions; I found the love of my life. What a price I was paing

[Ansaphone]

Most men in their 30s just want to screw around. You could be a wealthy supermodel or a regular nurse, they do it to everyone. My mistake was thinking that if only I'd improve they'd want me. It's bullcrap. I now only think "do they fit my standards"? If not I ditch them

[Introvert_Girl]

But usually the "emotionally unavaliable person" show themselvs as avaliable at first. So how this situation works? We unconsciously "sense" the person is unavaliable and fall for them?

[zohrehkhalesy]

Your wife is very lucky to have you as you’re faithful, smart, honest and trustworthy guy, and I’m sure you’re lucky to have her as well, all the best to you❤❤❤❤

[Analysis_Paralysis]

Can you do a video specifically on self-trust and on learning how to trust oneself again? Great key points in this video, by the way! Really helpful...

[dr.florence]

Here's the not so weird reason: there are more (much more) unavailable people. So some poor sod is bound to end up with an unavailable person, or half-unavailable which is enough to make the more secure one unhappy. Also, newsflash, most men are avoidant, so straight women are battling insurmountable odds. I've finally become more secure and available after many years of therapy for my utterly horrendous childhood and I am going from situationship to situationship because most men who are in their 30s and still single are that for a reason - but NOT working on themselves (that would be the dream). So now that I am the one who leaves when it's not working out, I have strings of beginnings, leaving when their unavailability becomes clear. I don't need mpre therapy. I need a man who has done his fair share of therapy. Period.

[rick-yo]

People who repeat this pattern should look into how their parents raised them. Most likely one or both of their parents were also emotionally unavailable. If this rings true, then it’s good idea to see a psychologist to uncover unconscious patterns. Most insurance cover these visits w a copay.

[sherikwasnik]

I have a problem with attracting dudes who have issues. Narcissists, emotionally broken men unable to have mature adult relationships. I am 49 years old and have trouble attracting good, mature and responsible men. I have a good life and a rewarding career. I’m missing something…..😣

[shahrzadmoadeli]

I have recognized this pattern in myself in the past. Thank you Matthew for clarity❤🙏

[mafffew]

Let’s not forget that the overwhelming majority of single men are single because they tend to be emotionally unavailable. Dating in early to late middle age will absolutely be difficult for this reason. I don’t question the advice for Matthew, it is very sound but it’s also a game.

[Conscious]

I just love how Matthew Hussey breaks things down. Clear, honest, direct & even more: a visible progression from the earlier YT videos. You are hitting subjects that are hitting more deeply: self-awareness/growth, subsconscious patterns, becoming aware of red flags (narcissism), etc....very nice evolution Matthew. Thank you for your sound advice & keeping up the good work for so long. We are listening & we appreciate you!

[Mojohead]

Both meeting and falling for an emotionally unavailable person led me to going back on meds

[NikkiEdmunds]

Your description of this woman is talking about me to a T. This is so frustrating. I’m at the end of my rope where attracting men who are totally wrong for me is concerned. Thanks for your video.

[Dmo]

‘Matthew! You are such a gem🙌🏻 “Being aggressive about living..” actions of any size. learning to acknowledge small wins and open to more. Learning to avoid people telling me what, how, who I should be. Learning that I can trust myself, cherish my choices, getting to another stage of life. ‘Waiting for certainty…”. This is really resonating. I tell my therapist about you!❤

[obiblooze]

Matthew talks so much sense, don't know how he does it!

[wanderingseth]

How do you even date someone? I'm in my 40s and I've never understood how people start relationships or initiate anything. What even is all of this. The more of these videos I watch, the less human I feel.