Shaming is not the solution

Shaming can make it harder to address the problem.

Buy my book, "The Value of Others"

Book a paid consultation:

Social Media

Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community:

Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.

#dating #relationship #psychology

[CX]

Shame has been studied and proven to be the LEAST effect form of behavioral modification. Yet it seems to be our number 1 go to reaction to peoples struggles.

[edheldude]

It's a moral lapse if your morality is about life-affirming virtues and how to live a good life.
Doing something that's harmful to you and as a result to people you are responsible for - that is a moral lapse in that case.
Also, what people typically do is moral masking and virtue signalling because that's often less costly in the short term than staying true to your morals. You have to sacrifice to develop virtues and when your morals are tested in real life. Many people cave in immediately if there's an opportunity. Thus don't trust people's words about their moral stances (when it comes to virtues like temperance).
Even if people seem to act right, it might be due to higher expected cost of indulging vs staying true. I.e. they're motivated by fear and conforming, and not acting morally.
You can be virtuous only from a position of power where you could do wrong but choose the right action. That's integrity.

[AA-oesu]

You are very effective and a lovely communicator. You are different in your videos. Unfortunate but funny thank you

[doyourbest]

I clicked because of the word shamed. That is the technique my ex- used to deflect me when I showed interest in her. ‘Is that all you think about’ if you need water it is present in your mind, so yeah. She got what she wanted = divorce, but a side product was disgust and hate. Thought this could help address that internal conversation. Might be a good future topic, there a Lot of bitter guys out there, as the divorce process is punitive to men. She gets a divorce, he is forced into continued obligation to her and monthly depletion of his resources. There will be a reaction to shaming.

[diannascott]

Carbs release seratonin. Porn triggers a dopamine release. The neuroscience of shame sounds like some interesting uncharted territory to explore. Who would be without that powerful emotion?

[antoniskaloterakis]

I agree that shaming and moralising is not the solution, but why dont we take that a step further?

Why dont we put loneliness into the equation. There is a loneliness epidemic too.
In addition, lets see Freud's psychosexual stages of development. Firstly the oral stage .
I see binge eating as a regression on the oral stage. At the current times women have to work cause what a man can provide is not enough to feed the family. Kids have to go to a preschool facility from one years old. Do they form the proper bond with their mother ? Isn't the excessive food consumption a way to compensate for the lack of intimacy, love and nurturing they ve missed at those early stages ?
What is porn addiction also ? Isn't it rooted in the lack of intimacy?

[Fahrenheit]

Morality is the insulator against these things.

[vvswordfishvvv]

Shame in asian cultures works SHAME is the 2nd most powerful tool of society next to religion

[rosemarietolentino]

People have no shame anymore. They just do what they want to do.

[diannascott]

Has shame always been a component of the human paradigm, or is there a version of us that preexisted that emotion. If shame is the form, what is the essence?

[leponpon]

Salts are fine, sugars are the main culprit.

[yeahrightbear]

I disagree with the obesity theory. Something else is causing it because there are people such as myself who eat what ever when ever, and I'm considered underweight. Meanwhile, some people, if they so much as even look at a slice of pizza they gain 10 pounds. I believe genetics have a lot to do with weight, and you can control it to a point, but it's going to be much harder for some than others.