3 Ways To Work With Toxic Shame - Part 1 - Episode 9

As requested!

In this video we cover: triggers, childhood trauma, inner child, inner child work, c-ptsd, ptsd, toxic parents, narcissistic abuse, assertion, mind reading, moods, healing, abusive parents, emotional abuse, childhood ptsd, repressed memories, hypervigilance, narcissistic parents, emotionally abusive parents, child abuse, narcissistic father, childhood emotional neglect, abuse, narcissistic mother, single parent, divorce, chaotic family, codependency, healthy parenting, co-parenting, friendship, single parents.

Chapters:
0:00 Intro
3:08 About Shame
7:04 Connect With Me
7:31 Examples of Shame
11:33 Shame Spectrum
16:30 Final Thoughts
18:29 Outro

Learn more about Patrick Teahan,
Childhood Trauma Resources and Offerings

⚠️ Disclaimer

My videos are for educational purposes only. Information provided on this channel is not intended to be a substitute for in person professional medical advice. It is not intended to replace the services of a therapist, physician, or other qualified professional, nor does it constitute a therapist-client or physician or quasi-physician relationship.

If you are, or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call a local emergency telephone number or go immediately to the nearest emergency room.

If you are having emotional distress, please utilize 911 or the National Suicide Hotline
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[RagnarokLoki]

That feeling when you realise that you feel almost constant shame

[MoonWomanStudios]

Shame was one of the few emotions I was allowed to feel

[Nariel]

"A constant low-grade feeling that people are disapproving of you"
I couldn't put it in words, but you must have read my mind, Patrick :)

[mLify]

Mistakes and accidents were never ok in our home when I was a kid. If one of us screwed up or something broke, it meant an instant beating. It didn't matter why it happened. The only question my mom would ask was who did it so she'd know who to hit. It's taken a lot of work to talk myself through accidents and mistakes as an adult. I think the first environment I was ever in where mistakes were ok was this job I got in my early 30's. Everyone was super chill, and if a mistake was made, everyone would say "hey, that's ok, it happens, can I help you redo it?" It was such a shock when I first started there, but I got used to it and really learned a lot from them.

[jessicabis]

Every time I watch Patrick’s videos I feel like he totally understands what I’m trying to untangle in my mind. I’ve never met a therapist that understands anything like he does. Thank God for him! I get so much clarity from him.

[GoddessHabits]

conscious low grade feeling people are disappointed in me 🙋🏼‍♀️ i am so sick of dealing with this baggage. I wish i could reboot my entire subconscious.

[mystical_cupcake]

Your son is so lucky to have you in his life as a guide <3 Thank you for this series. Shame is something I truly struggle with.

[katedhotman]

Guilt: I did something had
Shame: I am bad

I am learning to speak gently to my inner child to reframe things. Just showing lots of compassion towards myself. Standing up for my inner child because no one ever did.

[uncouth_cat]

It hurts to realize how much my inner child had to keep her shit together...

[chelseasmith]

I had no idea my shame was masquerading as anxiety so often. I've been having shame/regret attacks in addition to anxiety/panic attacks!

[sugarcayenneseven]

"marinated in shame" ..classic.. & absolutely accurate..

[idkt-t]

Oh gosh, the intro where he asked about how our parents would have reacted if we broke something, brought back an old memory that I repressed so much I almost forgot. I remember being like 10-12 and running around in my parents' bedroom while my father was fixing the computer, I almost tripped on it and knocked it over and he got incredibly angry and said "this computer is worth more than you ever will", and that stuck with me, it really hurt me back then but now I try to have a more lighthearted approach and just think "what an asshole"

Edit: After watching the video, I'm realizing how many of the things I hate about myself are because of shame caused by my childhood, which makes me feel even worse because now I know I might never be able to fix it, I can't continue feeling this pathetic for the rest of my life...

[Inugmi]

I wouldn’t even have been allowed to touch anything, because the default assumption was always that I would break something if I did.

[AugustAdvice]

My narc mom who has no shame said to me, "My therapist says there's nothing wrong with me..." I said "I don't care what you've convinced your therapist to believe." It makes me sick knowing she's still out there fooling strangers after I've gone no contact.

[starsandsugar]

Absolutely still being run by toxic shame and my inner child to the point where I don't feel my real age (24) at all. Its constant shame-framed thinking and I only realized it about a year ago.

[VirgoKat]

@06:12 "My Mother was abusive and disregulated over normal parenting tasks." WOW...that 1 sentence has freed me from so much shame and confusion. You are a Godsend Patrick. 👏👏👏

[ThisMelMel]

My mother called me El-Clumsina because I was clumsy and accident prone… until I drew her a picture that showed her “always” raging at El-Clumsina and “almost never” loving me. She kept the picture and now I have it. She also sometime after that figured out the damage she was doing and found a way to change for me. I showed the picture to my daughter to let her know that it’s ok to be mad at mommy and that she’s not the only one that falls down and runs into walls and breaks things accidentally.

[Vadamur]

I am constantly trying to understand what happened in my childhood that made me 'different'. These videos just made me realize that I grew up in a toxic family.

[game__growth]

My mother was 18 years old and 5 months pregnant with me in 1969, when my parents 'had to' get married. I was steeped in shame. Thank you so much for this series & this channel. You are a gift.

[seekingthemiddleway]

My parents would have laughed and tried to get the lady to gang up against me with them. They'd've said stuff like, "We've given up, the child's a liability hoho". And then on the way to the car there'd have been hissed threats so no one could hear and then how ashamed they were of me, can't take you anywhere and of course, "If you were paying attention to other people for once instead of being self-obsessed we'd be able to take you places. What is wrong with you?"