The Only Way to Parent an Autistic Child #autism

Hi! I'm Orion Kelly and I'm Autistic. #ActuallyAutistic #orionkelly #autism #autismsigns #whatautismfeelslike #asd

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ABOUT ORION:
Orion Kelly is an #ActuallyAutistic vlogger (YouTuber), podcaster, radio host, actor, keynote speaker and Autistic advocate based in Australia. Orion is all about helping you increase your understanding, acceptance and appreciation of Autistic people.

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[amachine]

Listen…
My parents dismissed every I said so just listen to your kid and communicate and then support ..

[esm]

If you think your child is being rude, clarify what he or she said before just assuming that your child hates you or whatever. Trying not to jump to conclusions and seeking to clarify misunderstanding will set a good example for your child, who has few enough allies as it is.

[ChasePump]

I’m grieving the life expectancy of people with autism and who will take care of him when I die.

[jandcschwartz]

I'm thinking the question was asking for advice like don't spring sudden changes on your child. Don't force them to make eye contact and interact if they don't like it. Have them make a list about getting ready or make a list for them.

[keyc.]

Glad to know I am on the right path. My kid has ADHD and so does my husband, I guess I started my parenting journey knowing my kid was never normal

[ukraine-gonna-beat-ruzzia]

Thanks for the relatable example. It used to be 10:00 pm until the little one could fall asleep, only with mum in the room. Dad takes the late night wakings. Now falling asleep at 9 pm. Just something we are used to now.

[mrjohnklake]

Mary Cooper in Big Bang Theory was a wonderful example of a good parent of an autistic. Leonard's mother in that same show was a wonderful example of someone who should have never been a parent due to neglect while not being abusive.

[flyleafrpgwo]

Please just accept that they are different, realize they need you and don't kick them because they "need to start acting like the adult they are" when they are struggling. Know they are trying harder than your perfect kids.

[andreaweaver]

Dam* I felt this. My parents don't believe me when I say I think I might be autistic. They only know the stereotype. I struggle with talking to adults in specific, so..and I'm female and still in my adolescence.

[grainofsand]

I have no reason to grieve my son's ASD, though still awaiting testing. I still grieve however, that no one caught it until I suspected it when he was 18. It hurts to know he needed help with school, and how to communicate, and didn't get it. He's perfect in every way, to me, but my heart breaks trying to get him help now, and it's practically impossible because he's an adult, and the help is really only available for children.

[kristencowan]

Thank you for saying this! I’m a mental health therapist and it’s what do many parents need to hear.

[miniroundaboutinbrum]

This has brought me to tears. I have burnout rn. I probably need to remind myself of this one from time to time

[GingerRodgers]

Thank-you for your perspective and thoughtful comments. I hope to prepare a safe place for my two autistic sons as they grow up. I worry so much about them when they become adults

[palesgensler]

I would say recognize that autistic adult/teenagers are adult/teenagers so treat them as such. Even if they have high support needs. Please do not infantilize them treat them like they are their age but still meet their support needs. I would also say that if you’re feeling stuck, always seek help from autistic adults. There are plenty of them on social media who are more than willing to give out parenting advice because we don’t want another generation of kids to have to go through what we went through. Don’t under any circumstances go to some so-called autism expert, who is not actually autistic themselves because I guarantee you they don’t know as much about autism as they think they do.

[RB-rdlq]

I don't feel grief or loss about my autistic kid. He's amazing in his own way 💜

[crystalkirlia]

Did my dad write to you? Was his first name Phil? 🤣 this sounds exactly like my dad, and I fit the description well enough! I'm 21F and autistic 😂

[amyjohnson]

I can relate to every single thing you’re talking about…

[runningraven]

I have a problem. Everything I'm supposed to grieve, I can't. My autistic kid (18) is the most relatable person on the planet to me. I love all the quirks, I love the authenticity, I find the freak outs relatable, the directness of communication soothing, the shutdowns make me sad (in a good way, I can sit and be quiet with her or try to do simple yes/no communication, and it's just peaceful) and her humor is the best. It doesn't seem she needs much "help"? Unless removing stressors/demands counts as help?

[WhoThisMonkey]

I don't have my parents in my life because of them treating me like I was the problem all my life.

I have nothing but loathing for them.

Think about that if you have an autistic child, they can easily come to resent you.

[Autism_Forever]

What to grieve about?.. You should have never put expectations on your kid in the first place. Isn't it enough that the kid is alive? It is already more than many other parents got. Your Autistic kid has hyperfocus and pattern recognition superpower. They might become millionaire at ripe young age of 16. You never know. I have most severe form of ASD. I bought my first apartment when I was 20. With cash no mortgage. I have been working since I was 7. Putting expectations on anyone or anything will lead to nothing but heartbreak. Your kid is not your property. You cannot make them achieve what you wanted to achieve in your life. You still can you know :)