Why is My Mental Illness So Competitive? | Kati Morton

"Kati, why is my depression so so competitive?"
I thought this was a great question because I know we have talked about eating disorders and how they can be competitive, but we haven’t talked about other mental illnesses, and I am going to be honest, I think it has more to do with us and not so much what mental illness we find ourselves struggling with. Now I say that because it’s all about what we tell ourselves about our mental illness, meaning if we feel that we ARE our mental illness, if we see someone else suffering from the same thing we can feel like they are encroaching on our territory. Or if we worry that we aren’t sick enough for help, or have tried to get our parents or someone else in our life to take our struggle seriously, and they don’t, and then we see someone else who appears to be doing “worse” than us, we can be jealous or upset by that. Thinking that we should be that ill and maybe we could get help or be taken seriously.

I'm Kati Morton, a licensed therapist making Mental Health videos!
#katimorton #therapist #therapy

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[Peppman]

Just got your book today! Excited to start it :)

[JaneyImaaniEmotionalAwareness]

So many of us are depressed but we believe we are not ‘depressed enough’ to get help.

It’s almost like it’s not bad enough to get the assistance we need 💕

[yessimartinez]

Her “welcome” cures my depression temporarily

[aalruu]

I thought I was the only one who was jealous of the severity of other’s mental illnesses, and that made me think I was doing it for attention.
This helps out so much!

[kelseyj]

WOW I struggle with this all the time!! I always feel like I don't really have a legitimate reason to be anxious, down, or depressed etc. This video was very validating.

[Silvia-jxym]

I always get sad when people say that because they have "less suffering than me" they don't deserve help, or people saying "I'm worse than you" because suffering is suffering, we are encouraging to suffer even more which is ridiculous. Be kind to yourself and the others, you know how bad are you feeling and It won't be good to make things worse for you and the others

[echoetj]

THIS. IS. SO. RELEVANT! Holy shit I have always felt like when I talk about anxiety and depression, anyone else who also deals with this on any spectrum HAS to chime in and offer why "their X or Y" is worse than mine. And you're right people want to feel heard but it's really annoying. I'm glad you're talking about it!

[dncognitivecounseling]

The issue you mention about not having a caregiver present to turn to when carrying out independent tasks as a growing child, definitely interrupts the stage and the process of "rapproachment." This is yet just another example of how insufficiency while going through a stage in development can lead to psychological underdevelopment later on, sometimes manifesting as mental illness, and sometimes not. Another great video Kati!!

[rosiewagstaff]

My depression is so competitive.

It’s hard at school and I feel like I’m always being blamed for who I am. Schools have a problem with encouraging negative stigmas about mental health in the UK and people constantly talk badly about depression (like people make it up) and it makes people like me hate ourselves more. This problem needs to be addressed.

[somethingyousaid]

That's very interesting. I had never thought about a competitive mental illness.

[otterpopstorm]

i was just talking about this in therapy yesterday and never thought about “competitive” as being the word for what i was feeling. what a great descriptor!! oftentimes my depression being so competitive leads me to feeling like a fraud, as it’ll often make me feel inadequate and invalid, as if i’m making it all up and its so comforting and validating to know i am not the only one who feels that way <3 ps great video kati!!!

[NyeGills]

I always feel like I'm not "anxious enough" and that I'm lying about my anxiety and I'm making it up for attention, which in turn just makes me more anxious. Very eye opening video.

[JaneyImaaniEmotionalAwareness]

Thanks for another great video Kati! I love how you talk about the details that we don’t even recognize.

[ImprovementPath]

I came across your channel through the anxiety ninja a few days ago and your channel is freaking perfect! Thanks for all the amazing info!

[alanatrevino]

Thank you for making this video. I used to be so ashamed of having this feeling, because I thought "well what if I don't really have mental illness, what if I'm making this whole scenario up in my head for attention." But another reason I feel this way is when people talk about they hate their life or whatever. For example, one of my friends is having a summer camp that lasts pretty much all summer. Well, she'll text stuff to the group chat like "OMG I hate my life and I don't have a summer!" And it makes me feel really bad because she gets a lot of attention and "oh well it'll get better like you know whatever school's coming in like a month." but me a person who has diagnosed mental illness, whenever I try to talk to people I'm always being showed up by others like if I talk about say wanting to cut again I'll hear people talking about "well I have suicidal thoughts" and they keep on trying to one-up me and it makes me feel like whatever I'm feeling is not valid.

[emmaaowo]

idk why this video got me so emotional but woah

[janet]

0:59 -A situation like this happened to my sister and I. For 10 years, I have struggled with my mental health. My family is aware but have never Really listened to what or how it truly affects me every. single. day. My sister had an 'episode', I'll say, where she was completely down and wanting to commit suicide. Everyone came rushing to her side and got her into therapy. I feel so guilty for feeling jealous. I am happy that my sister got help, of course. But it felt like a slap in the face because I have asked and asked for someone to help me and it is just ignored for some reason. I have been open about my suicidal tendencies that I used to have, not anymore, and still nothing! It makes really makes me think how far do I need to go to show that hey ive been suffering for 10 years!!!! I feel like my mental illness is me now. I think my family thinks the same. It's a normal thing now. I don't know me without it.

[ambibambi]

In a weird way, I feel attached to my depression like it’s who I am and if I’m doing well and someone else is depressed, I then want to cling onto my depression. It’s strange because it makes you feel terrible yet I don’t always feel like I want to ‘get over it’ so to speak

[rosahosniputeri]

oh my god katie i'm grateful that i find this video of yours because i've always felt competitive, and then felt greatly guilty and ashamed, and then questioned myself if i really have depression or if i was just 'faking it'. turns out it's because i had always been emotionally neglected (which i already know). thank you katie, i just recommend your channel to my friends. you have been such a big help!

[TickingAwayOurTime]

I am so glad that you have made this video!

When I was younger, I was surrounded by people I thought of as 'more sick' than me. They were more depressed, their self-injury was worse and many had attempted suicide. I saw them getting help that wasn't available to me and I started to wish that I could be as sick as them so I could get the support. I never really understood this jealousy up until now and felt shame around it as I 'should' be wishing to get better, not worse!

Thank you for helping me to understand myself better, Kati, this has been incredibly valuable!