How to cope with a narcissistic mother-in-law

These are communication tactics you can use to get along better. #narcissism #narcissist #narcissistic #motherinlaw 

[CloudslnMyCoffee]

I did this and got accused of being snobby, secretive, and dishonest because I actually had boundaries.

[TURTLEORIGINAL]

As a man, please allow me to give my opinion. The husband, absolutely needs to get a backbone and stand up for his wife, not cower around like a little boy. When a man and woman are married, they become one, not son and mommy. If the mother-in law is relentless, this needs to be nipped in the bud asap. However, do everything you can to be polite, with all your interactions with her, but you pick your battles and remember, it’s your family. The mother-in-law needs to know her place.

[evamz]

I tried to cope with her for 6 years. Waste of time, you become bitter, resentful, your children suffer, your marriage suffers.
We are still married but I told my husband I was done with the bs from his mother.
All I had to do was tell her to stay away from me. And after trying to hoover I blocked her and no one in her family has contacted me either.
It feels like a truck full of cement has been lifted off of me.
Set yourselves free from these people they are poison to your souls.
A wise man once told me, " You become like what you hate"
Forgive them and get the hell away! 🙏 🕊 💕

[Cowface]

On the topic of narcissistic in-laws, pay attention to how your partner talks about them. If you see toxic traits and your partner defends them, big red flag! Your partner may be defending them because they’ve inherited some of those traits!

[aimeelynn]

I’m at a point of my life where respect is earned and if you don’t respect me then don’t expect me to respect you back

[evamz]

No contact no contact no contact! All I had to do to go no contact with my mil entire side of her family was go no contact with her, the queen narc.
The past year has been the best year of our 5 year marriage!
And although my husband still see's all of them every now and then. Hes waking up!!
Dont give up folks!
Take control of your lives and get these creatures out! 🙏 🕊 ❤ much love to all God bless you all. You are deserving of respect!

[Kittyququmber]

A toxic MIL is never NEVER the only dysfunctional one. She has master minded the whole tribe. If you think grey rocking works-good luck with that. In a situation with a NARCISSTIC MIL you are dealing with a mind field with the whole family including a husband that as much as you think supports you.

[meechelle]

Unfortunately in many families they are so desensitized to dysfunction that even though they eventually see she’s the problem, they don’t care and still stick up for her because she’s “family” and the spouse that married in is treated like an outsider. I’ve considered ending my marriage over this

[Jlk]

I did this and got accused of “always being in an angry mood” it’s not as easy when your spouse either doesn’t see the abuse or enables it

[JananiKumar-ir]

My mother in law is a narcissist, but doesn’t know what she did is wrong until after the event is over. For example, my husband and I had just bought a house and we wanted to invite a few family friends who we were close to and grew up with for a small house warming. In short, my mother in law didn’t like that we didn’t invite the other 10 family members who she was friends with. She did the same thing at our wedding and I couldn’t invite some of my close friends, because she over invited even when we told her this was the limit for that venue. She also didn’t pay for the wedding either. But, anyway she only realized what she did was wrong after my husband and I told her what she did was wrong. She also makes annoying remarks about our house not being clean enough and how she wants to set everything up for us in the kitchen, our bedroom closet, garage, etc. I told my husband this was the last straw and that I don’t want to have a relationship with her or his dad. Because my father in law just has his wife’s back. If I say anything, she cries and makes a scene. Idk how this will work, but it’s been 4 days and I haven’t heard from her. My husband talks to his family and has set strong boundaries and has expressed that I will not come to visit them or talk to them. But these 4 days have been a lot less stressful and feels like 100 ponds have been lifted off my shoulders. Let’s see how this works out going forward.

[gessrinky]

Gosh this is so spot on. My MIL constantly takes jabs at me and asks questions making me defend myself. Awful woman

[ginuyehara]

I blocked my mom in law bc she is a big narc raised a messed up narc too. So guess what i won and the whole family now know shes the weirdo and liar. Lol 🤣 so funny idgaf she took so much advantage of my realness so messed up.

[Ysb_m]

My partner’s family operates as one unit, they enable each other and work together to abuse the scapegoat which is me. I will use these grey rock responses next time

[phantomvampyressshadowkiss]

My husband's mother is a covert narcissist. We were together 9 yrs. I don't visit her or talk to her or invite her to see her only grandkid anymore. She never acknowledged me and ignored me as a mom . She's always a victim . I don't have anything to do with her at all now. My husband still talks to her and visits her without my 4 yr old. Which she is level 3 autistic non verbal and she ignored that too. She is very controlling and c when she was around tried to take over disrespect me as a mom and try to treat me like I'm a child. I wasn't going to put up with that anymore.

[sonnyroy]

I COMPLETELY understand about this subject. This person hated me and I was never good enough for her son who was very abusive to me. I made the HUGE mistake of not having anything hateful to say about her ex husband's new wife, I wanted to be neutral and stay on good terms with all of the family. She never forgave me for that.
I've moved on and am much happier not having any contact with any of them. Poisonous people. It's taken years to heal my heart and soul.❤️

[nicolii]

The worst thing for me is that my mil gets information from my husband and she gets a rise out of it. I haven't been able to stop it for a decade.

[jonmills]

My mother in law will just plain and simple make it up so I choose not to be around her because there is no winning or peace or resolution there is nothing except narcissism … they won’t notice because coverts are clever manipulative secretive and sly … work it out with your partner and if your partner is a decent enough human being he will understand and you will find a compromise somehow between you both

[stacyguthrie-witt]

After 25 years of my toxic mother in law I told my husband I couldn't take it anymore. I told him it was no contact or I was filing for divorce that's how bad it became. She wrecked my emotional and physical health for so long I was losing myself and completely miserable from all the smear campaigns and constant gas lighting, lies and manipulation. She was so enmeshed to the point it was nauseating. We've been no contact for a year and I'm finally starting to heal now. My husband thankfully starting seeing it too just in time for us to save our marriage but she was definitely a covert narcissist and I'm grateful I don't ever have to see her again. Checkmate!

[victoriabrand]

my in laws used the spare key to let themselves into my house and went through my personal mail/ paperwork when I was at work!!!

[riac]

I was married to a narc, but my friend from group therapy had to deal with a narc mother-in-law. At the time, she did not know about NPD, so her message is worded based on her learning about NPD after her divorce. Here is her message and she hopes to help anyone who reads it:

“My narc mother-in-law initially expected me to automatically be a new supply. Mainly because her son (my husband) was already in her grasps. She expected me to keep my mouth shut and be compliant to all of her requests and expectations. In her mind; what daughter in law would argue or appear defiant? That was crazy to her!!!! Oh but…

Once I spoke up to her, my MIL talked bad about me to her whole family. Making me an outcast before anyone in the family got to know me. My narc MIL made sure I never felt welcomed or accepted and she would only communicate with my husband.

Meanwhile, I had to get my husband to remove her from his bills/finances, so things would be shifted into both of our names as a married couple. At this point, I was questioning my choice to marry this man.

Then the narc MIL extended an olive branch to try to welcome and “connect” with me. I willingly accepted with gratitude. However, it ended up with her being negative, playing mind games and being passive aggressive. Fast forward…I am now divorced from that mess and still healing."