Why Do Desi Parents Control Their Kids’ Career Choices?

This week, The Swaddle team explores why Indian parents pressure their kids to pursue certain career paths, and how this parenting style negatively impacts everyone.

Edited by: Bavana Gone
Art Director: Neha Shekhawat
Visual Research: Samiksha Mathur
Executive Producer: Karla Bookman

[krk]

So parents think that thier child is born to fullfill thier wishes and choices and they can't live on thier own choices and decisions

[JustAnotherLokiStan]

I'm a science student, so my parents never had to struggle with making me take science. But a couple of days ago I told my mother that if I'd wanted to pursue a different stream, I would have done it regardless of what they told me to do. The shocked expression she gave me was priceless. As long as our wishes align with theirs, they act like they're so very understanding of our needs and wants. But the moment we digress even a little, oh boy.

[aaditi.c]

I just have to say not just the career they like to control all life of their child from shopping for clothes to whom she/ he should marry!

[shamaldhurve]

"I once read somewhere that children are innocent, absolutely angelic. I also once heard that the bitterness of an elder’s tongue doesn’t let children stay angels. It turns them into a dwarf. And then these dwarfs remain dwarfs all their life, they can never go back to being angels.

[drttt]

yesterday I was watching Dance Dewaane which I don't regularly watch and my mum sitting there told me that there was an exceptionally talented girl in this show like exceptional at another level but her father does not approve of her dancing and wants her to become a doctor BUT THEN I got to know that his fathers comes daily at her performances, makes bad and disappointed face while her performance and speaks OPENLY ON NATIONAL TV that he wishes her daughter gets least scores and get eliminated soon, even after seeing her daughter at a NATIONAL PLATFORM and successful doesn't made him satisfied. This story took your today's topic to another level, Like being at her daughters place even for 1 second make me feel so broken and extremely pathetic, may god give her strength to pursue her dreams always

[gate.mbappe]

When parents are controlling their child's career then they SHOULD also be held responsible if the child isn't able to suceed.

[cenacobra]

My mom wanted me to become an Enginner
My dad wanted me to become a Doctor
I wanted to become a Pianist
I ended up becoming a Chartered Accountant aspiring to start a music YouTube channel

[PokhrajRoy.]

Parents think it’s the proper thing to say ‘Do what you want’ and ‘Follow your dreams’ but secretly want you to do UPSC. Can you make up your mind?

[lisasforehead]

This is why when people ask me why i don't want to have children, I tell them it's because I'm afraid of repeating my parents mistakes

[millennialmind]

"We do live in a society". Indians literally took this saying to a whole new level.

[purvashende]

Sometimes it feels like parents are not parents but just sponsors who are funding you to get the best results..

[silverstarlight]

In India, parents want their daughters to become doctors, but not cardiac surgeons, neurosurgeons or orthopaedic surgeons. Thats because girls are discouraged from being 'too ambitious'. Hence men dominate these professions and earn high amounts.

[sarasrinivasan]

Do one on "why is the woman always held accountable by the society for lagging in domestic duties?" We work too. It's not our sole responsibility anymore, nor it ever would have been hadn't women in the yesteryears been locked up in the name of "house wives" now that very house wives, who have faced that bias, are pointing an accusatory finger at us, only at women, in event of slacking. Aren't men to be held accountable as well?

[light-bvkw]

"identity crisis" is something that's not much addressed. Though it's an issue for both genders I feel it's more prevalent (or hidden) in women. Being controlled from childhood and even after 18 (all genders), they go into a confused state of not knowing how to find their purpose in life after their 30s.
Thanks to education and exposure, most men and husbands this generation are not controlling their sisters or wives like how the previous generation did. I wish this trend continues and everyone gets the freedom to find and be the best version for themselves.☺️☺️

[caelusclasses]

Parents should influence the childen but not choose their career

[apurvnagare]

This is really common in families which own a business. Coz they expect the SON to inherit the business after them regardless of his choice.
I’m a victim to this.

[lipsap]

Here my parents wants me to be a teacher although from inside I know Am not fit for the job ...

[tanya]

I didn’t want to study law. But my parents wanted me to have a stable career that played to my strengths.

I do regret not getting to study what I wanted to study as my main degree (I did get to study what I wanted to for my masters which did give me happiness). But I also enjoy the benefits of having a great career and earning really well.

It’s a confusing thing.

[CorporateBeldaar]

Because that's the only way they know. Control. Control everything. From waking up to sleeping everything is in control of them. Small or big decision

[anikazarin]

My parents decided everything. I will be a doctor and my siblings engeneer 😐
I am glad you guys are talking about this!