INFJ | How the INFJ thinks about TRUST and LOVE in dating? | The Rarest Personality Type

Need advice on how to date an INFJ? Would you like to know how they view their relationships on trust and love?

Want to know how I handle Trust and Love in my relationships? Watch the video and I am going to tell you. Can I speak for all INFJ's? Nope! But if you are an INFJ, you do not need me to speak for you. Do you? ;)

Martin: "Trust eh - i get exhausted just thinking of the word."

*** ...of course I would not just let you die. lol. ***

[KeepRolling]

As an INFJ's, we don't say things that we don't mean. And when we do say we mean it to the edge. If it doesn't come true right now, it will come true later on. We can count on it.

[bababythesea]

Have you ever heard this..."If I loved you once...I will always have some kind of love for you. Stay away from me though." Great video...new subscriber.

[kristianjensen]

I can relate to this.

I've always felt that the phrase "I love you" was a canned line and rather than saying I love someone, I show it through my actions - Words are empty promises, what really counts is what we *do* because doing leaves no room for doubt and doing takes a lot more effort than expelling air from our lungs and shaping our mouths to form words.

This doesn't mean that I won't say "I love you" to someone who has "words of affirmation" as one of their primary love languages, but my soul will cringe a little bit every time because of the ridiculousness of it. It simply shouldn't be necessary when every core of my being displays that love with my actions around people I love.

[justsmile]

This is so true! With my husband being an INFJ he spends every moment of every day loving me, but for over a year I didn't really understand his love or what it meant. I have never met someone who gives so much in every way and so effortlessly. So when he DOES say the words "I love you, " I hold onto them that much more because I know how true it is. There's no denying the love there. It's a connection that no book or movie has ever fully captured.

Anyone who has the opportunity to be on the receiving end of this love, DO NOT take it for granted. You will never be able to experience it again

[evemoore]

I'm an infj female. It's exactly like that for me. The only difference for me personally is when the bond gets broken not only am I stone cold to that person but I get very angry almost destructive. At the end of it I end up hating the person I was once attached to because of the pain and betrayal that is inflicted. I almost feel like our personality type is very much like a mirror. A one way mirror that is, what I mean by this is that we can see everyone else but they, everyone in a general sense not only don't see but also can't see us.

[raymondsmith]

INFJ’s don’t love out of insecurity or fear, it’s authentic and genuine❤

[AgeofMachines]

Finding your series is a huge relief for me.
Thanks a million.
I'd like to add that telling an INFJ/INTJ that you don't trust them is a guaranteed cause for dismissal by an INFJ/INTJ.

[jamiel]

As an INFJ I feel so validated to hear others having the same point of view on saying "I love you" - and as a female INFJ this feeling on those words makes people *really* think you have something wrong with you.

[Lameriset]

I relate to this so much, so accurate with the ‘die for you’ part, this inbuilt martyr sort of feeling. I guess most people don’t understand this, they don’t understand why it takes a long time to get past people when you have that attachment as an infj

[stephanie]

“...unless you f*** me over” I totally resonate with that! And then I slam the door on you, lol!

[pamelaadams]

This was incredibly illuminating. My boyfriend of 7 years is an INFJ with Asperger's. Quite the combo. It took almost 2 years for him to tell me he loved me. As an INFP I was patient yet dying to hear those words. I knew he loved me, he didn't need to say it but I needed to hear it. He is fiercely loyal and seems to know what I need before I even know what I need. This gives me a greater understanding of him. Thank you.

[rosaliethon]

i hate when relationships.. friendships.. fail.. its hard....cause having that bond break... is hard.

[luisacordero]

Our love is pure, powerful and full of courage. Perfect love casts out all fear. Our love is strong as death!

[bananabreadtan]

When I was younger (early 20s) I realized that

Love is a choice that once it is engaged in, does not possess an escape hatch. Love is a choice to do good towards another regardless of the consequences to oneself.

I sh*t test people by loving them & seeing how they respond to it.

This is why I choose very selectively... & people often let me know whether or not they even want my love. Not with their words of course, lol never with their words, always the things done & left unsaid 👀

[tygon]

I like to think about it like this...

For most people relationships are like two poles or 2X4's being brought together. Or two bricks being laid together or something like that. You have the two items and a binding agent (Trust).
You bring them close together and add the binding agent. You add the glue, the mortar, the screws or the rivets. Now, over time these joints, these connection points can wear or become weakened. You add more glue, mortar, or repair the connection. It takes work and effort to maintain the relationship between the two pieces. This is a normal relationship.

For an INFJ though.... When they bond with someone (I choose my words carefully), it's more like heating up metals and poring an I beam. There is no "connection" where a binding agent (Trust) is required. Nor is there a weak point for a break or a split for a broken relationship. There is no way for the "binding agent" to break down, so there is no need for the traditional Trust work that normal relationships require. This may be strange for anyone that isn't the INFJ, and even for people that are in a relationship with an INFJ. But, the only way to then break that I Beam.... is to purposely cut it... To F it up, as it were.

So... If you slag through an I beam.... there's no amount of tape, screws or glue that can "repair" it. It's done for. It's over with.

That's how I like to think of Trust and Love for the INFJ. 😉

[vermillionbunny]

Yup, you’re right.

I’m happily married to the only person I have ever been in a relationship with, because I don’t get into a relationship with someone unless I already trust them, and once I’m in, I’m in for life 👍🏻

[marybethgeary]

Dude, I am a FAN, I trust YOU, right-off the bat!

[elysevickers]

100% Agree. I'm an INFJ female and this makes absolute sense to me. As a teenager (long before realising what an INFJ was) I had many interesting musings about things and one of them you summed up at the 9.00 mark "those we love we would die for". To that effect I'd like to share my favourite scripture from the Bible in John 15:13 "No one has love greater than this, that someone should surrender his life in behalf of his friends." Worth pondering. I will also say that the people who cause an INFJ to flip the switch are narcissists, particularly the abusive or covert ones; I've dealt with two of them in romantic relationshits (yes I spelt it that way on purpose) and several others in other relationships and once the switch is flipped there's no going back! The door slam is strong with this one!

[galengraziano]

"I've already read your silly a**. It's yes or no." I love this!

[alamthahmina]

I think for a true INFJ this makes perfect sense. When you flip from putting that loved one first to being able to watch them bleed - i think its because they didn't value us for all that we give and that's the reason why they did us over. That's the black and white mentality too. That's just my take as a young INFJ who most likely has a lot to learn ☺️