Asexuality and Relationships - Ace Dad Advice

In this video, I answer some of your questions about asexuality and relationships.

0:00 Intro
0:35 Dating when you maybe don't want to have sex
3:20 How do you broach the "no sex" topic with a partner?
6:18 How do you handle the fear of never finding anyone?

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Twitter and Instagram: @CDaigleOrians
Tik Tok: @AceDadAdvice

[gwennygrausamt]

I actually teared up at “you don’t have to apologize for your boundaries”. I’ve been in a lot of situations I’d rather not have been in and while I know that setting boundaries and standing up for myself isn’t something that’s easy for me to do: hearing you tell me that I don’t have to be sorry for not being what my partner expects or wants me to be made me realize how deep that mindset actually goes in my brain and that it’s not okay to keep it that way. Thank you.

[elliottguenther]

Always good to see more ace content on youtube. Just commenting to help the algorithm and thank you for the advice.

[MeghanChamblin]

Me and my girlfriend had a conversation the other day about intimacy and she came out to me as ace. I’ve been watching ace content to have a better understanding and we’ve had a conversation about boundaries and what it means to her to be asexual. For those who are in a relationship with someone who is ace as a non-ace person, it’s key to have these conversations. Also, I recommend reading Loveless, a book about a girl discovering and coming to terms with her asexuality and with her being aromatic. It gives you a lot of insight and understanding into the ace community and perspective!

[ARTCARGAL]

I found this channel by going to Twitter and searching the #Asexual feeds. I did that because I feel alone in a world of people that want sex in a relationship while I do not. I have not been in a relationship for over a decade because of it. Came here to get words of encouragement from like minded people. Glad to see there is an outlet for people like me. Thank you.

[hollywoodkelly-mons]

❤I've been Asexual my whole life - I want absolutely No Part of Sex. I am a former Professional High Fashion Model and a former Professional NFL Cheerleader - One guy told me that I was too pretty to be Asexual, ( As if to say only unattractive people should be Asexual - " IT'S NOT A CHOICE " ) . . . . I thought I was totally alone in this world !!! I've never met another Asexual, I guess that's because only 1% of people are Asexual - ( What are the odds that I would meet another Asexual in my lifetime ) - and if I did, would he be someone I am attracted to ??? I don't worry about it anymore . . . . " IT IS WHAT IT IS " . . . . I Just - " DO ME " !!! ❤

[nutellabuttercups]

It feels so nice to get this type of advice from somebody older than me. I didn’t know I was ace until after I became an adult and I’m so happy there’s someone like you, with real life experience, reaching out to help young aces.

[danielleroberson]

I had the “no/limited sex” conversation with this guy at the very beginning to make sure this was something I wanted to pursue. He reassured me that was fine and that sex shouldn’t be a priority in our relationship and it’s ok.

5 months later and it’s been a couple months with no sex and he tells me we never had that conversation 😥

[AbelardoGzz]

I feel like this could be a series.
Don’t just make one, have common Q&A !

[dsrsmjo]

Thank you so much for doing this.🥺💜 Those were literally the kind of words I needed to hear throughout this journey of discovering and embracing my asexuality. Here in Mexico, at least, that loud voice (compulsory sexuality) is not only acephobic but also extremely misogynist... I'm taking your advice and I'm starting to focus on our safe, loving and caring spaces such as this channel.
Abrazo!

[authorofdragons]

Differenciating the Loud voices and the Little voices- thats such a great way of conceptualizing it in a more grounding way that I really needed to hear. Im so happy you're making these videos, they help my anxiety so much. 💙

[stephskeeper]

Around 20-22 years of age, I always felt like I fell on the ace spectrum. Now at 25, after reflecting on all my past relationships, I’ve finally realized that I’m very much asexual lol. I’ve realized sex has never done anything for me in terms of pleasure and I just wanted to please my partners. In my last relationship, we would go extremely long periods without sex, and I would only have sex out of guilt because I felt like I was depriving my partner. Sex was always just something I went along with because it’s widely expected in most romantic relationships. Despite that, it always made me uncomfortable how “sex-obsessed” society was..Plus I was never good at discussing boundaries, which I now know is extremely unhealthy.
I still have a lot to learn about asexuality but thank you for making videos like this ✨

[fmmarianicolon]

Nice video! Lots of good advice both for asexual folx and for people in general. Not apologizing for what one wants or needs out of a relationship is so important. Repeatedly apologizing can create a dynamic where one might feel less than their partner(s), which can cause long term effects on self-worth in and out of the relationship.

[jeweliux]

As an ace person in their late thirties who recently got in a relationship after a very long time (and it's my first relationship where I know I'm ace), this channel has been very helpful. I didn't particularly have this fear specifically bc I was for years very content not being in a relationship but the loud voice of compulsory sexuality is such a familiar feeling which I didn't have words for before this video. It's so gratifying to have words for things and it's so important. Thank you!

[hollyrkg]

Wow. This advice is so important and I needed to hear some of these comments without even realising it before I started watching this video. Really great video! Saving for future reminders! Thank you

[marios.]

Thank you for all this videos, my last relationship ended with her telling me that I would die alone because I didn't know how to love someone, I don't blame her because as you say communication is important and back then i didn't even know i was ace so i couldn't talk to her about it

[emilygardner]

4.30 onwards made me shed a tear ngl. When I first came out as ace to my allo boyfriend, I felt this huge obligation to apologise to him for it (an obligation coming from myself and societal pressures, not from him), some of which I still feel today. But things have got so much better and we are so genuinely happy together 1 year later, don't give up hope my fellow romantic aces 😊

[cottagecorecat]

Thank you for the video! I always get worried I’ll never find someone who just wants a romantic relationship, but I feel better about it now!

[ZombieMinion]

Thank you Ace Dad. I feel like I have been loud and open about my Asexuality around my friends like a shield. If I am obvious and clear and sometimes joking about it no one will misunderstand or approach me not knowing what they are getting into. I know I've had men lose interest in me after coming out because they find sex to be a big part of their relationships. They are still my friends but that attraction was broken down quickly. I'm so glad to see ace people talking about their thoughts and I'm so glad to have found your channel.

[dr.doofenshmirtz]

the last segment was very heartwarming c:

[sophiar]

Recently discovered this channel and honestly it's so great to be validated and given hope that I may find someone. Literally almost cried at 5:27