My Girlfriend Is Asexual But I'm Not | If This Isn't Love

Is love without sex possible? A Singaporean couple opens up about asexuality and their struggles to reconcile their differences where one's needs for physical intimacy is greater than the other.

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O+ is a virtual space exploring the intangible in Southeast Asia. Through distinctive visuals and experimental forms, our inquisitive team discusses back of the mind, candid perspectives about society, culture and being human.

[SubSpaceKing]

I needed this story. I had recently broken up with my ex-girlfriend after dating for 6 years. I began to wonder if something was wrong with me. I felt repulsed by sexual acts, but I love cuddling. It was thanks to my best friend after my breakup, I realized I am asexual. I was oblivious to the signs when I was younger, but looking back all these years later makes sense. I don’t need a sex partner, all I want is a lifelong companion who is like a best friend to me. That we both respect each other and share the same goals and can cuddle. I can relate to Robin in this story.

[Baby_Dinosaur]

This made me cry!! Years ago, when I was a high school student who first discovered her asexuality, I felt broken. My best friend reminded me recently about a repressed memory I had, of going to her and sobbing that no one would ever love me. I think just being ace means you unfortunately go through a lot of self-hatred in the beginning. But everyone works through it, and finds romantic or platonic relationships, and it’s all good. But we’re still oddities in this world, so having videos like this that clear up stigma and talk about personal experiences are so powerful. Thank you 💕

[koala]

If you can understand sex without love, then how hard is it to love without sex

[erendisakallabeth]

You don't have romantic feelings towards a friend. It is definitely not only friendship at all. I don't know why is that so hard for people to understand.

[knightsalmon]

Sometimes I don't even want to cuddle. I don't want to be touched. I'm staying single. It's not fair to the other person unless they are asexual too.

[meo]

I’m a Hetero-romantic Asexual. I don’t wanna have sex with anyone. But I still wanna find a partner from the opposite sex to love, to cuddle, to hug, to spend time with…

[asresh]

I am just crying right now.
I am demisexual. And I have almost no sexual attraction. I just want it to be someone I love. The thought of sex makes me uneasy. I hope one day I find someone who treats me with respect and respects my boundaries and me. thanks for video<3

[abbyj]

I identify as asexual and am currently dating a guy who isn’t. I discovered I was ace early in our relationship and I have always wrestled with doubts. He constantly tries to reassure me that he is content with the possibility of us spending our lives together without sex, but I know the things he likes and fantasizes about. I know he compromises the most in this relationship, as I’m almost always the one saying no to things. And I feel bad for it, even though I know its better that I don’t force myself to do something intimate that I don’t want to do. I constantly question if this will work out long term, if its possible for him to be happy with someone who is sex-repulsed. This video helped reassure me a lot. Hearing someone in the same situation. Hearing how they make it work. I helps me feel less of a burden.

[junkbatkid]

This made me extremely happy, these relationships needs to be more normalised and im so happy to see this change

[tentrilliconlp]

This video is more wholesome than the toxic comment section.

[KaylaPearlCPNinja]

I am asexual, but I’ve been coming to terms with it more easily due to the fact that I am also aromantic as well. I don’t find myself being interested in sex or romance due to the fact that I am just more introverted and have multiple disabilities.

The fact that people don’t understand asexuality and what it is and how it impacts others really makes the world a harder place to live in.

And guys, thanks for the likes. I appreciate it.

[mechcommander]

This is simply beautiful. I can totally relate to this as I am facing the exact same issue with my wife. It really compelled me to re-look at love beyond physical intimacy for sure! But hey, I have come to learn that a relationship can still flourish despite having no sex, despite the world glorifying sex and all. Kudos to Harper and Robin for sharing your story - rooting for the both of you to work it out towards marriage!

[liamdk]

I'm a guy witha high libido and my girlfriend is asexual, it's probably one of the hardest relationships I have had. Everything else is there and I love her more than anyone I have ever met. But the constant rejection that makes her feel bad and then in turn makes me feel bad is something I'm struggling to deal with. At one point I stopped trying and was letting her initiate when she did want to. In the end she started to get upset because she noticed this and thought I was falling out of love with her.

Only go for this type of relationship if the person is worth it because it is going to be alot of heart ache

[annalolitaestelle]

This really helps, I'm currently figuring out that I might be ace and I've been so stressed out thinking that I'm broken or that maybe I shouldn't be in a relationship because I find myself disengaged during intimacy - it's nice knowing that I don't have to be sexual to be in a relationship ⭐💜

[naan]

i never thought i'd see something ace-positive in sg, this was the best video ad i've ever gotten on youtube! i love this

[flytubehd]

Happy to see local media bringing some much-needed awareness of our kind!

[nanavhs]

just got into a relationship and im feeling so much guilt rn. but we agreed to communicate anything and everything with each other so he knows and he still likes me ^ ^

[imaginationspectrum]

I recently started dating an asexual person, I really think I’m in love. I think if you find someone who is asexual who you like and you aren’t, it will just work out.

[jerryesque]

This relationship with asexuals is surprisingly easy. If you're asexual, this is pretty awesome.

[katherinehilary]

I'm crying watching this. I think I'll use it as a coming-out video, if I ever do. You captured it perfectly. <3