When Disappointment With A Narcissist Morphs Into Cynicism

After extended time with a narcissist there is a high potential for increasing feelings of disappointment. You may ask: "Who can I really count on?" or "Why have I been so poorly treated?" Dr. Les Carter warns that despite the validity of your frustrations, you run the risk of developing deep cynicism, which can lead to your undoing.

📣 Dr. Carter's new course, Anger Games, is now available! 📣

Dr. Les Carter is a best selling author and therapist who has semi-retired to Waco, TX. For 40+ years he maintained a counseling practice in Dallas, conducting more than 65,000 therapy sessions and many workshops and seminars. He specializes in anger management and narcissistic personality disorder. Since creating his YouTube channel, his videos have received more than 115 million views.

You can follow Surviving Narcissism on:
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Facebook: @survivingnarcissism101

Dr. Carter has three other courses that you may find to be useful:

[michellepurcell]

It’s really hard to trust anyone, when someone I loved so much deliberately tried to destroy my life, under the disguise of a loving loyal partner. I am slowly learning to trust myself again, which is a good start . Thanks Dr C for your invaluable advice

[well_weathered]

A skeptic is someone who is reluctant to believe, a pessimist is someone who has given up on believing, but a cynic is someone who refuses to believe.

[samdevallance]

Narcissists are cynical too but they love being cyclical because it keeps them as a victim and that makes them feel important. I’m not going to let a narcissist turn me into them.

[lynndupree]

When I FINALLY figured out the cycle of emotional abuse and stopped thinking he would get better and stop having tantrums, it was extremely empowering. I have reached a place of serenity concerning his ups and downs. I'm not cynical about life, but I have no trust in him as an individual. I see him. I see his yo-yo game. He can't hurt me anymore because I have zero expectations and hope that he will change. I have taken my power back. For now, circumstances prevent me from physically leaving, but in my heart I am gone. I am thoughtfully preparing for the right opportunity to physically get him out my life.

[roxymovie]

Scratch the surface of most cynics and you find a frustrated idealist — someone who made the mistake of converting his ideals into expectations.

(Peter Senge)

[artnunymiss]

Other people just aren't worth the effort for me. It doesn't pay off. The betrayal is inevitable. And when I discover it, I always see that the juice wasn't worth the squeeze. I'm better off just meeting my own needs.

[AngelEyes-xmel]

After being married to one over 20 plus years, I have had anything of value taken while he bought 3000.00 golf clubs. Had to be a one upper. I need surgery he sent his brother. He had no time. His supply was waiting. All the hardest times of my life, i walked alone. I have lost it all. Grandkids, kids, friends. The pain is deep. Trust is hardest to give... thank you.

[moxiepooties]

They don't just let you down, they boo hoo that THEY are disappointed when you tell them you've had enough, and find a way to turn the volume up on that and claim YOU are

[aaronkwolfe]

I got cynical. I did. The disappointment had been growing for years. I began my own version of grey rock. I’d even begun to ask what my motivations were, because I knew that one would be assigned to me. Whether it was true or not. I began to not even try to answer direct questions, knowing that my spouse (now ex) already had decided what my answer would or should be, and if I didn’t agree, I was a liar.

[roxymovie]

Cynicism is an attitude characterized by a general distrust of the motives of others.

Signs of cynicism:
• low or no trust
• blame
• criticism
• divisiveness
• either-or thinking
• pessimism
• negativity
• sarcasm

[Mossyrocklove]

My abusive ex used his wealth to beat me in court, took my teenager whom I had raised alone….I’ve lost hope in the world. People are so evil.

[Juamo-tnwe]

💡I can now see that I have always minimized my pain— as if minimizing it was keeping it in my control.
I have created more pain in my life by my unhealthy response to pain. I have become more and more cynical.
Ugh.

I learn so much through Dr. Carter’s videos. I’m so thankful that he makes these so I can learn and extract myself from the poisonous tentacles of my narcissistic husband.

[duromusabc]

Cynicism is part of that trauma bond the narcissist creates - including the rumination if you finally broke up and separated permanently from a narcissist

[duromusabc]

Cynicism of a narcissist makes them take the victim card - when you disagree with them and they don’t get what they want

[garssympa]

Got my Les Carter fix for the weekend. Now... rediscovering the optimistic, good and supporting person I used to be before my long-term encounter with a narcissist. Thank you Dr. Carter.

[jenniferbooth]

Thank them for the lesson and move forward. Don't let it steal your joy. Keep hope alive that life is good and there are people who won't do the same.

[yukio_saito]

Enablers blame you for being cynical. Carefully choose who to share with.

[jodycasey]

“Remind yourself there’s a very tight link between cynicism and the emotion of hatred.”
-Dr. Les Carter

This is one of many reasons I signed up for your online course Anger Games! Thank you

[SandraMuller-vsck]

Being exposed to a person’s emotional trauma and behavior has made me very much aware of the boundaries I need to manifest to sustain a healthy life. Thank you Dr C for all these thoughtful comments with your experiences. This is healing . God bless. ❤

[LipstickNsofrito]

Everyone...have a wonderful day...blessings and much love to you all