Autistic Meltdowns Explained - What NOT to Do

Hi! I'm Orion Kelly and I'm Autistic. On this video I provide a step by step guide to #autistic meltdowns, and offer some dos and don'ts when the Autistic person in your life is experiencing a meltdown. Plus, I share my personal lived experiences as an #actuallyautistic person. #orionkelly #autism #autisticadult #whatautismfeelslike #asd

🙏 Thanks so much for watching, rating, commenting, sharing and subscribing, I really appreciate it! You're helping me raise the level of understanding and acceptance of the Autistic community. You can show your support for my channel by doing any of these things:

1️⃣ SUBSCRIBE to my channel.
2️⃣ LIKE / COMMENT / SHARE my videos.
3️⃣ SEND me a Super Thanks

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

🔵 CHANNEL LINKS 🔵

🔵 CONNECT WITH ORION 🔵
TikTok: @orionkelly_australia

🎧 My Friend Autism' PODCAST 🎧

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ABOUT ORION:
Orion Kelly is an #ActuallyAutistic vlogger (YouTuber), podcaster, radio host, actor, keynote speaker and Autistic advocate based in Australia. Orion is all about helping you increase your understanding, acceptance and appreciation of Autistic people.

#AutisticVoices #ActuallyAutistic #Autistic #Autism #OrionKelly #ThatAutisticGuy #ASD

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

⛔️*Disclaimer: The videos contained on this channel are for general education and entertainment purposes only and do not constitute professional advice. For professional advice and training seek assistance from a qualified provider. All views are my own and do not represent those of my employers or sponsors. Some images used are stock images.*⛔️

Related: autism, autism diagnosis, Orion Kelly, orionkelly, thatautisticguy, tiktok videos, autistic, autism in adults, autism in women, autism in men, autism spectrum condition, asd, autism spectrum disorder, aspergers, aspergers syndrome, autism in boys, autism in girls, dsm, dsm5, autistic adults, autistic kids, autism mom, autism parent, autism family, autism speaks, autism awareness, autism acceptance, autism at work, am I autistic, adult autism test, autism disclosure, autism therapy, autism prevention, autism meltdown, autistic burnout, autistic behavior, autism symptoms, autism traits, autistic signs, what autism feels like, love on the spectrum, stimming, echolalia, anxiety

[alecogden]

I'd describe a meltdown like vomiting - you're not really present for the experience and have no control over it, and you kinda feel better afterwards except the embarresment/shame and feeling like you're going to be punished and judged for it. It's like emotional vomiting - the nausea is like the emotions building up and vomiting is them coming out.

[memesmith]

One of the worst parts of having a meltdown is the regret after and even during. You feel terrible about it knowing it's immature behavior and inappropriate but at the same time your brain is overstimulated, and the meltdown is the release valve. Trying to hold it in makes it even worse, this is one of the reasons I gave up playing sports, I never wanted to be a bad sport, but I just couldn't keep my emotions in check no matter how hard I tried. Apathy has been one of my constant coping mechanisms in life where I avoid all risk and potential disappointments in order to avoid the pain and anguish of a meltdown. I waited for the day I would grow out of it, that day never came. Thanks to your channel I am starting to understand what has been going on all these years.

[saralynnech]

I thought I was having panic attacks for years, social anxiety, depressed, all that. But those are all just symptoms of autism I was masking. It's amazing to hear this information.

[jen]

My daughter was frightened by her meltdowns. When she was first diagnosed she was afraid of certain situations (like test taking, which morphed into being in a classroom at all) because she was worried that a meltdown might ambush her. It's been four years of therapy, and I am SO proud of the progress she's made learning how to manage and understand her feelings, anxieties, and triggers, etc. She's one of the bravest people I know.

[Nami-dqox]

That's a relief to know they can be triggered by strong emotions and confrontation- I always thought I was just being emotionally weak. If I'm around people, I'm more likely to shut down. I can often postpone them until I'm in a safe space, just like someone who desperately needs to pee can hold it in until they get to a toilet, but eventually they are either going to pee their pants or their bladder will explode (ok, maybe bad analogy). But once it's happening, it's happening.

[jvrock]

Loud noises, too many uncomfortable noises at once, overcrowded and loud spaces, sensory overload, emotional overload, mental overload, too many demands at once(lookin at you kids screaming "mom mom mom!" All at once Lol), too many demands in the day, week, etc; not enough alone time, I'm sure there's more but I can't think of any right now lol.
I'm the same with touch during a meltdown. Most times I need space and to be alone. But sometimes I need the bear hug. And I don't know which I'll need until I'm in it.

[RisaPlays]

I had a meltdown the other day while trying to get breakfast for myself. I needed my mom to help because I was just really struggling and just finished crying from feeling overwhelmed. I asked her to do something with I guess more attitude in my voice than I intended and she, not realizing what was going on in my head exactly, kinda mocked what I said. I had to walk away crying for a minute because I just broke.

Growing up, I was undiagnosed and my mom didn't know about meltdowns, only tantrums. She learned you just ignore tantrums. I learned I could only rely on myself to soothe.

[AlfUckhamHall]

Of the four biggest meltdowns I've endured, 3 were caused by one person and this person was in my life for five years and also happened to be my partner, but also a horrible narcissist. They are now out of my life and I feel so much better, but I'm still suffering the fall out.

[notoriouswhitemoth]

What it feels like to me is existential horror, like reality itself is under attack

[philipunger]

My meltdowns are triggered by over-stimulation and stress.

I don't know how many times I've had people talk down to me when I'm like this.

Playing piano/keyboard or woodworking help me relax.

Great video. Thanks.

[Gruxx]

As someone with autism I definitely have autistic meltdowns. I'm very glad you took the time to explain that autistic meltdowns aren't tantrums and that the autistic person who is experiencing an autistic meltdown can't control them. For me they always involve a lot of crying and yelling and I actually can't help it or control it. I wouldn't wish an autistic meltdown on anyone.

[GrannyGooseOnYouTube]

I had to drive a long-distance yesterday in a faulty car in traffic on Highway 5 in California. It broke me, and I drove for miles and miles at half-speed (because of the car) just screaming...not crying, but screaming and yelling as if the universe was out to get me or had been taken over by twisted demons.
I finally pulled into a gas station and called my husband. He said softly, "I cant understand uou when you're crying, honey." He patiently waited til I could speak, he spoke gently and optimistically, told me to buy a cold drink and just sit parked for a little bit to calm down. I was feeling so alone and out of control. I was so glad he knew what to do to make things better, not worse. I eventually made it home safe. My throat is incredibly sore today from all the yelling, and I feel totally exhausted. I hate this so much, but I'm so grateful I have someone who loves me so well.

[weignerg]

Sure is hard to be calm as a parent of a child having a meltdown at the same time as having a meltdown due to stress around taking care of someone in a meltdown.

[SABRMatt]

You missed a big trigger.

Failure.

When I publicly fail, I always...ALWAYS...melt down eventually. It's usually not immediate, but the fuse is lit.

[ohkaygoplay]

I was diagnosed with both ADHD and autism last fall. I'm 41. Having a meltdown and being ordered to stop it happened a lot, because I was perceived as the normal kid without neurological issues. No one understood or knew that it's genetic. I lashed out at work last night for being overstimulated and stressed to the point where I couldn't control my anger responses. I wanted out of there. I wanted to leave. I wanted to go somewhere quiet. The restaurant has nothing to absorb sound, so it reverberates off of everything. It hits me constantly, forcing me to try harder and harder not to react. I feel terrible when it happens. I feel like my emotions shot themselves out of a canon and I'm tied to the ball. It hurts. I know others are perceiving me as childish, but it won't stop until I leave or be given that distraction, and even then, it takes some time to calm down. Working in a restaurant means I don't have the luxury of leaving or having a distraction. It is so energetically draining when it happens on the inside. I went through a silent meltdown last week. I asked my manager - after weeks of having them triggered over and over - to take one day off of my schedule. She wouldn't do it. To her, working 6 days isn't a lot, and two of those shifts are 3 hours long. I told her it's not the hours, it's what's contained in them. It's doable for some people, but not for me. I can't handle it anymore. My request was still denied.

Yesterday, I saw someone get hit by a car. I instantly ran out to try to help them and called 911. I took video, other people were there to help, everything was handled, and thankfully, the guy was ok. The driver didn't take off. He was also shaken up.

It, and the stress of work caught up to me and I had a meltdown. As much as I want to help people, this is likely part of why I never went into the medical profession.

Despite the ADHD part of me wanting to do anything new, to explore, the autistic part of me wants to avoid the unfamiliar, because I know I'll get overstimulated. And I don't know what my meltdown will look like. Will it have an ADHD flavor, an autistic flavor, or both?

Somehow I'm managing to live on my own, and it's HARD. If I didn't need money to survive, I wouldn't have a job at all.

[ciaraskeleton]

My mum cried today because my meltdown came out of nowhere and frightened her. I've never hated myself more than in that moment. I don't mean to be frightening, I'm frightened. I'm in fight or flight. It's not fair on the people around me at all. The shame, guilt, regret, embarrassment, self hatred afterwards is intense.

I don't think anyone should have to be around me because it just hurts them and scares them. I rarely have meltdowns, but I can't avoid them forever. It's inevitable and it f+cking sucks.

[dreamscape]

I'm a woman in my 50s, and was recently diagnosed a few months ago. When I was a kid, girls and women weren't tested for autism, even though my father had it...and My Narcissistic parents were the worst..abusive, neglectful of anything loving. I also learned to mask very quickly, or have absolute hell to pay. So my meltdowns are internal. My music really helps.

[Mythical_Paws]

For me, my meltdowns generally make me feel like a scared animal that's trapped and doesn't know what's happening. I honestly wish my dad would understand since because I was diagnosed at a very young age, but my recent meltdown showed otherwise. He kept basically verbally kicking me down by saying things like, "You're better than this, " and "Stop crying, " (all in a very annoyed/borderline angry tone) like as if I'm fully capable of doing so when under intense pressure. This video honestly helped me know what he did wasn't ok, but stuff like that was a common response growing up, I thought it was just a normal response, and I should be ashamed.

[rkgomes]

You have illuminated so many things that have been going on with me. Several of your videos I felt like CRYING. Finally, someone who understands what I could never explain.

[annabanana]

I had a major meltdown at work this week at my boss just because someone was using my work desk and computer which meant I had to find another work area and it was all too much. I have had them for as long as I can remember but I can't help it. I haven't officially been diagnosed but my son has been and he and I are so alike especially in social situations. I have always felt like I'm on the outside and have never had many friends.