What Is The Dumper's Experience During No Contact?

Coach Lee explains the experience that the dumper has from the point of breaking up with you through the stages of no contact.

If you use the no contact rule, the person who dumped you will likely follow a predictable path to getting to where they consider whether the breakup was a mistake and choosing to reach out to you about getting back together.

What most people are often surprised to learn is that the tables flip in terms of the emotional points that the dumper and the dumped find themselves considering where they both started at the point of the breakup.

Videos Mentioned In This One:

[ehko]

Every time I start stressing during no contact and wanting to break it, I come here to listen to Coach Lee. It really helps me stay calm.

[gilbertarellano]

I was in a committed relationship for 29 years and I was able to follow the no contact and hold back on reaching out. It took 2 months of no contact and we are now doing amazingly good! During those two months of no contact, I was able to lose 22 pounds, gain strength, stopped drinking and smoking. By the end of the two months, I was able to run a mile under 7 minutes, I worked on myself for me!

[bosslady]

Anyone can seem ok with a breakup when they keep buisy.. but when they are alone with their mind..that’s when it all comes back to bite them in the ass 😂

[phillyd]

My dumper has been absent three months now. I have maintained no contact throughout that time. It’s given me the opportunity to really examine our relationship. I no longer feel that I want him back. It still hurts, but not as much. I’m not angry with him, just disappointed in him. I’m happy to move on and leave the old relationship behind 💪

[ksubi]

The best way to get your ex back is to stop caring. See your worth. If that person can walk out on you with no second thought, no explanation or no care in the world, unfortunately that person does not love you. Boss up and make them regret the break up! I promise you it’ll help and you won’t want them back. Self love is everything

[Anycards]

Imagine breaking up with coach Lee. You would stand no chance as an ex

[oreoluwasworld]

I’m here to tell you that NO CONTACT REALLY WORKS🙂 you just have to try your best to move on and they will come back begging.

[easypeasy]

I don't even want my ex back but just love watching your videos. It taught me about self-love & knowing my worth. Thanks, coach Lee 😊

[elainenilsson]

Once someone gets away with leaving you, they will use it as leverage. Don't take them back because it's something you want. That will only set you up for abuse. They already abused your love for them abandoning you.

[ThNwYrkr]

Unknowingly went into nc from day 1 without knowing it was an actual term. My ex dumped a “I thought I was ready for a relationship but I’m not” text while I was at work, and I never got a face to face. We had an amazing relationship we never fought once, shared life goals, supported eachother which is what really blindsided me. She’s reached out to me multiple times, sometimes revealing guilt of how it was handled, sometimes just doing the whole check in. I’ve kept the conversations very appropriate which reflect my current position. I don’t know where this will go but I know I’m the bigger person on the otherside of this with alot of potential in life.

[lourdesandzachary]

Listen to him! He is so right . I got my ex back in 2019 and we are still together .

[caoskin]

Why no contact works 100%? simply because your dumper ex lose the attraction from you months prior to the breakup day. That’s why it is so important that you should stop initiating conversations with your dumper ex. If your ex breaks your no contact, you can casually reply to their messages; that doesn’t break your no contact. Do not ignore your ex. Just reply casually just dont go deeply emotionally on your conversations because it goes nowhere. Just engage in your ex’s conversations if your ex makes a grand gesture like they regret the breakup, they want to get back together or they are willing to make it up to you and make the relationship work the 2nd time around. And also dont forget to compromise

[hmanfilms]

I used to get so heartbroken when people would dump me. Struggled with attachment issues and trauma/PTSD from abandonment wounds my entire life. Had a lot of emotionally/verbally abusive traumatic events as a kid.

I'm learning to walk away at the first sign of emotional abused. If a girl walks out on me, that's it. It's over. I don't plead. I don't negotiate. I tell them I don't agree with their decision, but wish them the best. Block and move on. No one gets to walk out on you and for you to take them back. If you take someone back who leaves you or dumps you, they are setting you up to do it again. They want control and abuse.

[jarettesuikowsky]

To everyone on here, I know these situations can be very hard, and traumatic.

Stay strong, and focus your time on self love, and self improvement. Love yourself! Your happiness should not be based on another person. Get a dog, hit the gym, hit the books, hit the tinder, bumble, and all dating apps. You will be ok. We can not force someone to love us. At the end of the day it comes down to self respect people. All love! ✊

[Lilmonke_]

I’m really glad I found Coach Lee’s videos. Although I’m the one who dumped my ex (she had an affair & I don’t want her back) I have done no contact since we broke up and even though it’s only been a month I feel so much stronger. I didn’t look pathetic trying to get her back and I’ve realized that I don’t need her. There’s still more healing to do but I’m shocked at how well I’m handling losing my 6.5 year relationship. Thank you Coach Lee!

[td]

As you have said, it usually took months for someone to leave someone. People need to just come to terms that their ex left them, and its over, no contact is great, move on and if they reach out months later and want to come back and IF you even still want them, then great ! If not, well, you have accepted from the beginning they left and had the mentality that they are never coming back. Dont think about them, don't dwell dont hope. Go live !

[Bryan_Lion]

Coach Lee’s advice actually works. I went radio silent on my ex and she came back after her rebounded relationship ended. Her coming back was everything I wanted, but I didn’t take her back because she kept the other guy around on a string like she did to me when she was losing feelings for me, and didn’t tell him she was about to leave him for me. She apologized and said she was wrong about everything. Also learned that women break-up with you mentally, at least 1-2 weeks, before they go through with. Now I know my strength and value. Thanks coach!

[SAMEntalhealth]

Bro I reported about 100 spam comments today. I got your back lol

[kennats]

NC really works lol I begged for months then finally found self-respect and cut contact. After a month, they reached out, and I couldn't care less.

[jasonfernee]

Trust Coach Lee's methods. It worked for me despite many odds stacked against me. The man is a relationship genius and wise way beyond his years.