How to Tell Apart Narcissist, Psychopath, Borderline (Hint: Stability Island)

Here is how to instantly tell a narcissist apart from a psychopath:

The narcissist maintains one island of stability in his life while all the other dimensions of his existence are a chaotic maelstrom. He remains married to the same woman for decades even as he dizzyingly switches between careers and workplaces. Or he climbs the corporate ladder with the same enterprise for 35 years, having divorced and remarried five different spouses.

The psychopath has no such peaceable oasis: every single aspect of his life is mayhem and pandemonium. His personal life is disordered beyond any timelines, as is his kaleidoscopic range of vocations, his myriad on and off "friendships", his antisocial or defiant pursuits, his numerous domiciles, and so on.

[meaganharris]

Ever since I found your channel, I can’t listen to any of the other so-called narcissism “experts” on YouTube. They spend too much time on fluff and trying to relate to the victim, as opposed to providing valuable, substantive insight and information. I’ve also purchased your book.

[NkNk-vgfc]

1st♥️
The silver lining In this quarantine is Sam Vaknin putting out multiple videos even in 1 week! Ou lala

[joywatson]

Thank You! My ex boyfriend was married 4 times. He told me that he has Never been Faithful to anyone!
He changes jobs constantly, never keeps any close friends.
Is Anger is Explosive!
And when his ex-wife came back into his life, at 1st I was mad and hurt.
And After this Video I KNOW that his ex-wife did me a Favor!!!

[angelakieler]

For years I thought me ex-husband had bipolar disorder but after listening to your videos I now know that he has NPD. Thank you for providing your expertise. I now understand why he lost his law firm, his law license, had an affair with a borderline, lost his house, left me, and now lives off the grid in NM. I also understand why he does not call or have any interest in his son. This has helped me heal more than I can say!

[morgyr]

Sam Vaknin is the only YouTube expert on the issue at hand. Thought provoking and excellent communication with his audience. I will look no where else!

[PrincessNads]

I absolutely love your videos. I was watching this one and was saying out loud to my phone (to you) 'Yes, but then they abuse you after everything you do', and two seconds later you said, 'And the worst thing is that the narcissist devalues these people...' And I screamed 'Yes! Thank you!' No matter how many of your videos I watch I still struggle to get my head around how they can be so self destructive. You can give them everything and it will never be enough. More verbal abuse will come, always whsn you least expect it. Beautiful weekends or nights out or holidays, just ruined for no apparent reason. They need to be able to control your happiness and that is so toxic and sick. Thank you for your incredible intelligence on this subject.

[xyzimagenes]

Every time I watch one of your videos is like going to University

[nichobee]

Basically everything described about the narcissistic experience sounds quite like the every day experience of a 7 year old. It's fascinating how much of their mental development is forever ceased before they are even adolescents.

[pusitegasupovci]

Sam you are real genius in this topic. Every narcissist I know have one island of stability. But the rest is chaos. Just as you have described.

[vincentwilliams]

The computer generated spectators is the most profound aspect of narcissism in my opinion. How they view the world is completely fascinating!!

[javiermendezgomez]

This video should be mandatory in high school.

[draganabrkic]

I must say that your explanations using metaphores have helped me immensley. I was raised by a malignant narcissist and had a front line seat to how they disolve human beings to nothingness. I needed to understand why and you have helped me, eloquently I might add, in this 'journey'. Thank you

[myacher]

Hello Sam,
I have been in therapy for a while and have been studying cluster B personalities for about 2 years. And I stumbled upon your videos today. While listening, I became enraged, i am at work and had to calm myself down. You have hit everything spot on. What, and how explain things resonate in me. When I look back at all the abuse all the "uncashed checks" the lies the manipulation, I am agry at myself and angry at them. Thank you so much for lifting the wool from my eyes, and dispelling the delusion that I believed for so long.

[arvogerald]

Your explanations are amazing, your ability to read the narcissist's mind is absolutely amazing. No academic research comes close to your insights

[donnaofMelbourneFlorida]

Wow. So true. He was at his job as an engineer for 36 years. Had two divorces and his home was like a horder. Everything was a mess and disordered.

[SoapsLuvr]

Thank you so much for this video. I was raised by two narcissists (one that is probably actually borderline with a strong narcissist type) - so relationships of any importance in my life always involve some aspect of this personality type and I’ve learned to accept it - as long as I keep learning about it and how to cope with it. I think some people don’t understand that some of us were so strongly shaped by narcissists that it’s not really possible for us to leave this type no matter who it is that surfaces. And being with a non-narcissist type would NOT necessarily even work for us (or feel ‘right’).

[rosamarialopezhermosa]

Everything is scaringly true! The instability they cause, by themselves being the cause

[gabriellesarsok]

Basically what I’ve learned is that anyone and everyone could possibly be a narcissist or psychopath

[cindyklaassen]

I appreciate when you compare normal reactions with the differences in narcissist. Sometimes the projection over time confuses the mind when character has been called into question over decades. The chaos is uncomfortable but normal and what should be normal becomes uncertain/questionable. My narc is a career narc with 4 shared children.

[jamesred]

I’m a narcissistic man. I seem to always find myself attached to psychopathic women. The relationships are always toxic. I am provocative and she is violent. I am engulfing and she is cheating. I am indifferent and she is threatening to kill herself, calling the police or getting me fired from my work. I succeed somewhere and she tears me down. She injures me narcissistically and I go into a rage and throw her onto the streets. She leaves me and I beg for her return through suicidal gestures, promises of marriage, anything until she finally leaves for another man permanently. Then I find a new woman and if this cycle doesn’t repeat, I am bored and do not attach to her. I crave the emotional sadomasochistic cycle despite how painful and life ruining that it is and detrimental for me. I don’t want this form of love, but it’s all I ever receive. It seems to be reserved mostly for me, even psychopathic women treat other less provocative men significantly better than me. There is something about me that brings out the worst in women. A vileness.