Affair Partners: Eight Reasons Not to Confront Them

The desire to confront the affair partner is quite normal. Though you may be seeking answers to legitimate questions, it’s important to note that the affair partner is not a reliable source of information. Today, I’m sharing eight reasons why this type of confrontation is not only unproductive but can also be harmful.

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HEAL with Affair Recovery:

[flirtyladylipton]

I confronted the AP. Never regretted it. It was a healing experience for me.

[alive]

Yeah, I was driving near the AP’s place of work and the thought crossed my mind maybe I should pay him a visit. This was followed by a surprising surge of anger. For the last 20 years I had resisted a confrontation, for most of the reasons given in this video. I am generally controlled, and analytical, but in this moment I realised that it would not take much to trigger a violent response that I would later regret. He is simply not worth it. We managed to recover from their affair, and it is enough to be able to say the best man won.

[lindamac]

I saw the first one accidentally in the airport. She walked over to my husband and I was shocked at what she looked like. Definitely made me feel better!!!

[daddyhermanson]

What I have learned in life is never go to a therapist or counselor that has not personally dealt with the same problem . If you need counseling in any area of your life ask the person if they have dealt with this same problem in their own life ? If not leave the office and find someone else . They will counsel from a text book not real life experience.

[lucyfannn]

Confronting the other woman helped me. Unfortunately, we were going to meet anyway so I beat her to it. she is irrelevant now.

[angelarodriguez]

If it werent for the affair partner i wouldnt have found out about the affair. My husband lied continuously and it wasnt til i showed the conversation between her and i to him did he admit to an affair. I took much of the information she gave me with a grain of salt.. but fact was she admitted she was sleeping with my husband. That was all i needed.

[JC-gxzs]

I rang the AP at her at work, she was out on an appointment so I left a message with receptionist that Mrs ……… wanted to speak to her and she would know what it was about. Later that day I received a message via LinkedIn, she said that my husband and her were just friends and our separation was none of her business. I told her about dates and times they had spent the night together (I tracked our family car) I told her to have some self respect and stop chasing after married men. I told her I knew nothing about any ‘separation’ (that was a lie) and I would never give up on my marriage. I ended the message with ‘stay the hell away from my husband.’
It worked…. She thought he’d been lying to her about being separated and was terrified about what I might do to her. 😂

[Onibocho]

What if your affair partner was a “friend” that was also in our wedding? There are just some lines you shouldn’t cross.

[pattihumiston]

I told my husbands af spouse. He divorced her. She now calls me a home wrecker. Imagine that, I’m the home wrecker??? Some people can take personal responsibility. Her ex husband is in a new loving relationship and VERY happy. I would do it all over again. Don’t get me wrong, my husband is at fault for the affair too but she was a friend.. so I thought

[dianestafford]

I confronted the AP in Peace and Forgave in Peace as God told me to. Obeying God helps bring healing

[zhibyful]

I did confront AP. Her levels of lies, lack of self awareness was tragic.

I had a sincere sadness that my partner was duped, and she was clearly unwell.

For me, that aspect was healing.

[Tetemorena]

Well I did and made me fell very powerfull. I was in a position to do so, specially because he chose ME and not her and this without me begging him to come back. They got physical only after the discovery of their emotional affair and after we broke up. They met twice and that was.. I did in a very classy way. Wrote an email and sarcastically thanked her for bringing us back together. Told her that he beeing with her for just the short time made him realise how much he loved me and no one could fullfill him the way I do. She was very in love with him and was completely devastated and went nuts. I feelt just great! Ah.. and I told her husband as well. Not a bit of regret!

[mvb]

I made this mistake. I wish I had read this before I considered confronting the AP. I am not sure I would have listened, but I sure wish I had considered some of these before I made the mistake of contacting him. Points 4, 5, and 8 are spot on.

[richcar]

Man!...I sure am glad I came across this on time!...there's nothing but pure clean, clear thinking sense to be had here...

[Dubblesteel]

That was some good advice because you make them still relevant in your spouse mind when bring them up.

[brightpage]

"They don't know your mate's motives anymore than you do."

Wow. That hit home. So true. Thank you.

And stroking the mate's ego, or pointing out a crush has developed that they might take advantage of if they haven't already.

[t_angelheart]

Thanks for your advice. I will keep peace n focus on rebuilding my marriage.

[jerryanddiannedennison]

My spouse's ap was a cousin who has been after my spouse since the age of 13. I really want to expose the ap to the family, but that would hurt my mate and me in the long run. If my spouse leaves me, then I definitely will expose them both to the family.

[bittehiereinfugen]

Under no circumstances will I contact my husband's AP on my own. But I don't have to because her mother lives in the house next door and that's why the AP is here from time to time. My opportunity will come to clarify a few things with this woman, such as what role she really played in my husband's life and thereby mine; I know her from before, from the time before the affair, and therefore know exactly what a self-loving, self-pitying and financially opportunistic person she is - all the reasons why she approached my husband at a time in life when he was receptive to her pretend "weak, needy femininity". I know she gossiped around after the affair was over, so it will be my pleasure to pour some truths into hers, in a very gracious yet public way. I have patience, my time will come to put this woman in her place.

[georyin]

I contacted my wife's affair partner, and from his responses, I could make conclusion that he was the guy. I am quite sure my wife is not happy with his responses because he mentioned my wife was too old for him. I never mean to get ang real information from him and I knew he would like to lie. But still I got some useful information. I have a lot of pain that my wife still loves him much more than me. I decide to stay, at least temporally, to prevent them from being together.