The Paradox of Being Nice

In this fictional video, we follow one of the final conversations of a middle-aged couple. When it becomes apparent that time is waning to its end, they begin to realize how little they might truly know about each other.

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[levimiller]

"it was a strange paradox of narcissism and self-abandonment." This felt so relatable

[drakkonzshadowsz]

I’m eternally grateful to my dumb 12 year old self who accidentally figured this out on a random day at the playground when someone called me wierd, and I replied “at least I’m not boring”.

It’s a great core memory for me, even if I still don’t know where in my unfinished prefrontal cortex I had that moment of wisdom.

Whoever you are, whoever loves or hates you, be yourself. Because I guarantee that for every person who likes the fake you, there is someone who could’ve loved the real you

[fcmiller]

I've come to understand that when I'm driving alone in my car, alone at home, on a bike ride is when I am free to be. I can act like a goofball or get angry, sing very loud, cry, laugh like a crazy lunatic. There's no one to judge me, criticize me, nor do I have to put a false face on.

[riffz]

The Japanese believe there are 3 faces everyone puts on in their lives. 1 face is for the general public, one is for friends/family and the final is strictly for when no one is around, and that one is your TRUE face.

[racingneko]

"Just be yourself" that's the neat part, I'm not even sure of who I'am, I feel like Im everything, yet I see myself as nobody, I don't know if Im peaceful person, or if I have anger issues, I don't even know who I want to be, I just feel like Im walking around without a goal in life, just stealing oxygen from others

[joshswenson]

The idea of behaving how others expect you to is a common theme in your videos. I can relate. I don't often speak up when I disagree with someone. I hope one day I will.

[Psycheideas]

Really touching and makes you think. This video shows how sometimes, even after many years, we may not know everything about someone we care about. It's a big reminder to enjoy every moment and get to know each other better.

[Msmithjonesraven]

I remember the moment I started being 'myself' I lost many people who treated me badly but said they were my friends and I also gained a lot of respect from people who just knew me, now I can proudly say that people don't pick me apart and I am not butt of the joke as I don't play nice anymore. I always wanted people to think of me certain ways but with age I realised all this is just a facade where I want to feel superior to others and want to uphold myself according to MY moralistic ideals while looking down on others.

[samirsuleymanov]

"Be who you really are. There's still time. Use it!"

[jonalee]

There's a balance to EVERYTHING. On the plus side of being nice, you don't really make any enemies who can potentially endanger you. You can also ask for small favors if you are close enough friends. On the negative side of being nice, you lose time for yourself and can eventually be caged by society's expectations, especially if you go too far in being nice to every single person around you. Always try to balance things. Of course, it's easier said than done.

[excripto]

As someone who has nobody to talk to, I can confirm that I will die without having any conversation.

[hemrycky]

"That's not a good person. It's not a bad person. It's just not much of a person at all."

Bro, you really made me cry with that video.
So much thankful from Brazil, I loved it

[Kraken]

After surviving a serious illness, I can relate to that feeling like you're living through stolen days you weren't meant to, like you somehow cheated death. It's a surreal feeling. Almost like in some kind of afterlife, that life itself has become a dream. It eventually wore off after a few months.

[wolfmanflame]

This has to be one of my biggest problems in life. The thought of having to cater to the wants and expectations of others instead of my own would have me lying down in a sort of a depressive episode for periods of times. I just really wish I didn't care, about what others think of me or what others expect me to want to do.

[ReynaSingh]

“Suspect each moment, for it is a thief, tiptoeing away with more than it brings.” -John Updike

[understanding]

I recently had a breakthrough after realizing this about myself. I cared too much about how people perceived me, and I always want everyone I meet to like me. Once I realized that caring about how I’m perceived is holding me back from pursuing my dreams, and showing my true self, and the idea that I will not always be liked by everyone I meet, something inside of me changed. I immediately felt better day to day, and I felt a sense of relief.

[happiness-wjxf]

This is what we all need to be reminded of. Can't thank you enough for voicing out what I have been struggling with for the past five years perhaps. I really needed to hear this to overcome my insecurities and constant concern to be the perfect human in everybody else's eyes.

[_stealth_]

“a strange paradox of narcissism and self-abandonment.” Thank you for summarizing exactly what I’ve been feeling these past few years for me, I could never find a way to put it in words whenever I thought about it.

[b-]

So this video talks about how we are wasting our lives living for other people, to be good enough for them, to be the best in their eyes, to be the most successful in their eyes that we are losing ourselves and who we actually are, what we want.


However, a paradox that I believe exists is, the ones who are actually massively successful in our eyes, actually did what they did NOT for us but for themselves.

I have heard so many singers say their biggest hits were the ones that they didn't care about would do well and made it at a time they were truly themselves.

It's like a weird paradox that even I have seen in my life. The more I am myself, I get the best of ideas, the best of opportunities. It's like this universe works in my favour when I'm being myself in my work.


You can actually be the best in people's eyes when you actually try and be the best in your own eyes, in your own way.

[juannsebastian]

I distance myself from people to confirm that i am not important to them. This goes to family and friends, if they do things like going out or just chatting. With or without me, i don’t really stick out. If am with them they dont mind, but if i am not it doesnt really matter to them, i am not missed. Its like my presence in that space is just like a chair or a wall. Sometimes i feel like i am just no one. I try to encourage myself to become more lively infront of other or become more friendly, i lost weight, i became more talkative and more confident in myself. But it feels like it doesn’t matter. Yes i made new friends, or thats what i think. I dont get invited to any social events. And When when i try to get involved it feels like i am forcibly getting involved in their plans. So i just distance myself from them. and just like that, it is like i know no one. This new years eve, i got one call from mom to say happy new year. Thats it. Not a single message from these so called friends. And you may just wonder. “You must be a really bad friend then” and i guess? But i did try hard to be liked, but i guess they didnt like that? I got told from someone i respect a lot, that when i talk to people i cared to much about them… so i guess its bad to cared about them. I am the one in the wrong? First, why is it so hard to make friends? And why is it so hard to keep them? I have to constantly remind people that i exist. Does anyone have a solution?