Ethical Non-Monogamy: Is the Impact Worth It?

In this compelling video, Dr. Joe Beam and CEO Kimberly Beam Holmes of Marriage Helper delve into Ethical Non-Monogamy (ENM), examining its implications and how it intersects with concepts like polygamy and references to polygamy in the Bible. They explore the ethical non-monogamy meaning, questioning if personal consent is enough to justify its practice amidst potential emotional harm and societal disruption.

The dialogue critically assesses the impact of ENM on emotional connections, trust, and the essence of fulfilling relationships, challenging the trend of prioritizing personal desires over deep, committed bonds. This conversation is an invitation to reflect on the true value of exclusivity and intimacy in relationships, advocating for a return to monogamous commitments as the foundation for personal and societal well-being.

Join us for a thought-provoking exploration of ethical non-monogamy, its challenges, and the pursuit of genuine connection in today's complex relationship landscapes.

Time Stamps:
0:00 - Ethical non-monogamy in a relationship.
1:21 - Ethical non-monogamy and its impact on relationships.
5:03 - The importance of understanding sexual relationships.
11:09 - Monogamy, polygamy, and biblical teachings.
17:43 - Monogamy and intimacy in marriage.

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[ernestcervantes]

With Valentine's Day coming up, can you please provide advice on how to "date" your spouse amid a marriage crisis? (Considering PUSH Behaviors...)

[jeannettedrown]

I always like when you bring in the Bible. God's word is true in all areas of our lives.

[lebambale]

A very important point got dissolved into biblical discussions - of being integrally just one person. The more partners ('love interests') there are, the more split one's personality becomes. This dynamic is then brought to yet another interaction. The personality is volatile; each other person reveals a facet of our personality. Unless it's stabilized in a (monogamous) relationship. Therefore, I strongly doubt polyamory helps creating secure (!) attachments. If the real bonding happens, all other relationships lose significance.

[TheMachineMother]

Firstly, I would have been great to see a discussion with a therapist who actually specialises in, or fully understand, ENM... not people guessing what it means.

Secondly, the analogy of a group of guys assassinating someone and calling it "ethical" just because they all agreed that is was "ethical" is really superficial.

Thirdly, proposing that non-monogamy is not ethical simply because it may cause harm is silly... people get hurt in monogamous relationships ALL THE TIME.

Lastly... ethical non-monogamy has different sub-categories, and ENM relationships aren't by default OPEN marriages. Also, ENM it not cheating because both parties are informed (part of what makes it ethical), and people who enter into ENM relationships to save their marriage or prevent divorce are doomed to fail. It's the same as thinking having a baby will fix a broken relationship. No, it won't, it will only make things worse. Your relationship has to be ROCK SOLID when even considering ENM. It takes work. It takes therapy. It takes rules and boundaries.

[pm]

I don't mean this in an insulting way, but in the literal meaning of the word: This talk is based on ignorance.
You simply don't know what you're talking about.
First of all. You can't generalize. "Ethical non-monogamy" is an umbrella term and there's a huge difference between "open marriage", "polyamory" and "swinging".
From personal experience, I only have experience with swinging and it is explicitly based on trust, open communication and affection for your partner and if those things are in place in advance, it can really strengthen a relationship.

[deborahrouse]

That's why our laws and morals are going down the drain.

When different people want different things and/or outcomes and different groups of people want different things and/or outcomes, there is no level base for right and wrong. Many individuals in today's world can be hard saying, "I do what's right for ME", in essence making their own rules. If each person wants to follow their OWN rules, it can only result in chaos because those rules often don't match the laws of our land!

[pm]

I have to doubt that the reasonfir your position is because you're "about true love".
It sounds more like it because you have religious prejudice about something you know nothing about.

[akosfellner]

OK. I had direct experiences about ethical polyamory, not a little knowledge from researches and/or prejudices. Your talk is only on surface level knowledge of topic and (sorry) but full whit monogamous and neo-protestante prejudices. Firstly, ethical non-monogamy and ethical polyamory are umbrella words. Those mean not a simple and same ideology/signification. The word ethical is real ethical, because the partners know each other and accept each other. I some cases help to each other. The most disgusting thing, when monogamous people judging the ethical non-monogamy, but have secret affairs. Second: the ethical polyamory is not "legalized limerence lovership". OR: that might be that, or MIGHT BE NOT THAT. But not that is all cases. This is a typical monogamous prejudice against ethical polyamory. My secondary or third partner is not necessary my "public lover". So: you monogamous people have a hugh logical trick. Non-monogamous relationships follow not binary logic, but you judge them through binary logic. Yes/No, Real/Fals etc. People can love different people in same time. And that would be TRUE LOVE. Sorry. The main problem whit ethical polyamory/non-monogamy is not this. The question is equivalent whit the question of Communism. The Communism failed in Soviet Union. OK. But the Communism was wrong? Absolutely not. Communism and ethical non-monogamy have same roots. Please read the state of family from Friedrich Engels. Monogamy looks to a partner as a property. This man is mine, that woman is mine. This is a real HARM for mankind. Ethical polyamory and ethical non-monogamy is a priori wrong? It depends on. There are open questions.