How to Approach Strangers at a Party

One of the most intimidating things we're ever called to do is to introduce ourselves to a stranger in a social context. Knowing how to pull this off isn't a small question of etiquette, it goes right to the heart of knowing how to feel we deserve to exist and need not feel crippled by shame.

FURTHER READING

“A party at the house of a friend, eleven o’clock, on a still-warm evening. A metre away from you, a group of people are chatting animatedly. Someone is telling an anecdote, it might be something about a train ride they took or the mishaps on someone’s bicycle, and their companions break in occasionally with rich laughter and stories of their own. The group as a whole seem confident and attractive and the main narrator especially so. But there may as well be a high solid brick wall or a lamprey-filled moat between you and they. There is resolutely no way you could ever move in to say hello. You smile your characteristic weak, loser’s smile, pretend to study the bookshelf – and leave the gathering ten minutes later.”

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CREDITS

Produced in collaboration with:

Alexandra Balan

Title animation produced in collaboration with

Vale Productions

#SchoolOfLife #HowTo #Socialize

[PtolemyXVII]

This is why good parties usually have thoughtful hosts who introduce you to everyone...!

[MrRickVids]

Thanks man, now I just need to get invited to a party...

[LucasdaMatta]

"Shyness is the belief that other people don't lack in company."

Very interesting.

[earlgrey]

Here is the truth:


The deciding factor when you approach someone is not how you do it, but simply if they wanna be approached by you at that time. Since that is not in under your control you might as well just accept that rejection does occur sometimes. Yes, it is painful, but has little do to with who you are. Just keep trying and don't take it personal when it does or doesn't work out.

[Jcremo]

So basically, everyone’s as insecure as you, they just hide it better.

[MikeWoot]

You make a friend by acting like a friend. Treat new people like you would anyone close to you and watch their shields drop

[JaneyImaaniEmotionalAwareness]

Remembering that most people struggle with insecurity has helped me confidently approach others 💕

[wishyrater]

I've gone to far more parties than I would like through my years, and I have learned how never to fail introducing yourself to a new group of strangers:


Simply approach the group, use a loud, strong voice and say "Hey guys, do you mind if I mingle here?" Everyone then introduces themselves to you and you get to talking. Then usually you'll go on a train of conversation with one or two of the members.


Just be honest and a bit vulnerable. People really have nothing against talking to you.

[ThisIsMyFullName]

This may sound strange, but I've found that it actually helps a lot to completely flip your insecure thought process, when approaching strangers. Instead of approaching a stranger with the idea that he or she is in a sense, complete, you firstly imagine an aspect about them, that they might be insecure or sad about. Even though this is only something you imagine, thinking about a stranger in this reflection, makes it easier to approach him or her, because you now see a person who's flawed and intriguing. This means that introducing yourself to a stranger becomes much easier, because instead of worrying about reflecting your own needs, you instead start to think about what you can give. Most of the time, people just need someone who will listen.

[juntao]

The thing is you have to aproach the group with the same OR higher level of energy than they have. Otherwise If you go in passive you will suck the energy right out of it and they will soon ignore you. The insight about our existential condition is great for a later time when you might want to build comfort one on one. Thanks!

[oscarinterprises]

How to approach strangers at a party:

Alcohol

End Video

[emiv]

My trick to avoid this is to be early (for example, offer to help with putting things together on the day), then you wil meet the first group of people who enters, since they'll see you are already there, and never end up in the situation of not knowing anyone at all, and you might be in the talking group.

[HumansOfVR]

*Failure is constructive feedback that tells you to try a different approach to accomplish what you want*

[ceratugo]

That's all true, but you havent answered your question from the title. How do you approach people at a party?

[NowYouSimi]

My tactic is to hang out by the food. Then I can eat the whole time, and if people come by for snacks we can chat then too. Else, I’m stuffing my face the whole time 😂 Plus, if I ask the other person questions, they can keep talking while I listen and eat. The goal is to try a bit of all the food before the night is over 👌🏽

[pedroclaro]

That's a great way to get over shyness and social anxiety actually. We're all just differently broken people, each with out own fears, faults and problems. I've suffered from them for a long time and thinking about that whenever I get nervous helps a lot!
Know that everyone is troubled too and that faking it till you make it does work. Just pretend you're relaxed and remember that everyone is doing the same.

[mine_neko]

Great timing!
As someone who struggle with social anxiety, I always had imaginary walls which keeps me from trying to speak with other people. I always wondered why I really wanted to impress, have to fit, or even why couldn't I just be left alone.
Then I discovered that in the past, when society began, humans where more merciless, so trying to make a good impression was something really important if you really wanted to live. Literally... Good things changed. Anyway, it's really impressive how humans manage to came with a answer in less than a blink. Appreciate this and try next time! There are people who understand this problem, and are patient.

[coachbahman]

*Don’t feel forced to be someone you are not..*

But I would never advice going to parties with strangers if you don’t feel like shallow connections with people and alcohol and loud music.

Some people prefer deep emotional connections in quiet places.

[matttucker]

Thanks guys this is doing some good for my crippling social anxiety! Love your channel it’s very helpful

[ossen]

*Your biggest FEAR contains your largest GROWTH.*