self love & the fear of relationships

Love is confusing even though it doesn’t have to be. the stuff we consume, it makes us believe we are missing out on something.

I made an April playlist 💃 feel free to check it out :)

I may or may not post on here too!

[theboilingbouquet]

No one ever truly understands another person. I think once I let go of the idea that I can't control the way people perceive me I started to stop changing how I presented myself. You're right. We are never truly ready, but we can decide when we want change. Not everything is up to the universe to decide our fate. Things don't always just...happen. I used to pride myself on being very observant to other peoples behavior and emotions. I think that I've come to understand people better now that I don't really expect anything from them. We are not predictable creatures. Life isn't meant to be mundane. Good video as always. All the shots were very beautiful. This is the closest I get to being vulnerable so uh, thanks.

[sarahj]

I have come to realize that maybe we’re not so afraid of getting hurt, but afraid that once another person sees us for who we really are, they won’t love us enough to stay. Which is why it’s so important to love yourself, you stop looking for validation and wait for right connections:)

[jennifer.]

"we allow things to be temporary" is so true, especially in our generation where commitment is feared and our idea of relationships is so influenced by the media and what we see online, and no one is willing to take the time and energy to get to understand each other emotionally and get to know them, which is why no one wants to be in a relationship these days.

[Twinti]

This made me tear up. But frankly speaking, I've been tearing up and crying a lot lately. I guess that's what happens when you start to change little by little, learn certain truth about yourself - the truths that you've been ignoring for a long while - and slowly letting go of the concepts that have been a part of you for years, if not decades.
Romantic relationships are kind of...a sore qound of mine. I'm 29 and I've never dated anyone. Never even been kissed. I keep wondering what it feels like. To experience that sort of connection with someone. I've been obsessed with love ever since I was a teenager or maybe even earlier than that. I've always hoped that something will happen for me. I've always waited for it to happen. But now I finally admitted to myself that I don't really know how to connect with people; I'm trying to learn how to do that now. I've always had a lot of expectations of other people - and of myself. I've adopted a lot of concepts about romantic love from movies, TV shows and books...But now I'm starting to to recognize that fiction is quite far from real life. And I've only been attached to concepts of people - I've never really learned how to love and appreciate people as they are. But I'm trying to do that now.
The fact that I've never experienced what the majority people have experienced - romantic relationship and everything that comes with it - often makes me feel like...I'm broken. That there's something wrong with me. That I'm unlovable. But I also realize now that maybe I want to perceive myself that. It's the truth that I've accepted about myself at some point and I've been confirming over and over again. So, now I'm trying to unlearn it.

Sorry for this brain dump and thank you so much for the video. It's really beautiful and moving.

[Miiriamsdictionary]

After my last relationship I never wanted to find one. I’m ok without one but what hurts me is when I do find someone I do genuinely like and care about and I do want to be in a relationship they don’t want one. But it is what it is. That just means it wasn’t right for me. And I need to accept and let go. It hurts but at the end of the day I will always have myself

[inlovewjungwheein]

I'm turning 18 soon and struggling. it feels like i have the burden of the world to carry. these videos feel like a hug, thank you for creating them

[basilbiju]

Putting here a piece of life lesson that I've received from one of my good teacher and friend.
'Never give your 100% to anyone. Live by the 10% rule.'
(this is not some life hack, but sth so simple & practical to keep your mental health in check.)
How to live by 10% rule?:
Rather than living for just one thing/person, give your heart for multiple aspects of your life,
Say, you give 10% for your family, 10% for friends, 10% for your lover, 10% for work, 10 for passion, 10 for movement, 10 for your community..or whatsoever.
Here, even if you lose that one person/thing, you won't be losing all your heart. There are still others/ other things you love and care about that you can cling on to.
Doesn't know whether this works out for everyone. However it's been working well for me. Let me know your opinion.

[wallflowerarc]

your channel is so comforting to me. life's been weird the last couple of years and I'm not even an adult yet. this video in particular brings me so much peace. I have this great fear of any and all forms of intimacy and especially for the attachment that might come afterwards. I don't have people in my life with whom I feel like I can talk about stuff like this. in the rare moments when I feel like I want to, i simply don't have the words or my anxiety pressures me to stay silent. everything's so overwhelming and overpowering. somewhere maybe on tumblr I've seen a post that deeply resonated with me and still does at the moment - "I wish everything was quieter and softer and less often". I think your videos are exactly this. and you're helping me understand myself a bit more. I'm so glad I found you :)

[icupsy]

Goosebumbs from your use of music, well-paced montage and nonchalant narration. It's like holding something warm, fragile and powerful in your hands. Have a heartwarming day :)

[AmandaSbarros]

I'm scared of sexual contact. I was abused as a child and I also saw my mom being abused. I want to feel like my body belongs to me and I need to work on that first. Idk, intimacy is terrifying

[uqrfvnx]

I needed this. I higly think that nowadays relationships are influenced by media, people dont want to get to know each other. Idk about you guys but even though i sometimes feel lonely, but i admit that relationships aren't my thing.

[sarahmacjones]

"which story would you prefer bringing to life?" so good!!

[annanas.arts]

i cant believe your channel is as small as it is considering the quality and how much hard work you put into your videos! your channel gives me so much comfort and lets me forget lifes struggles for a second, thank you so much for that <3 :] lots of love!

[ihyunjin]

this is such a good video. we're fed with idealized versions of relationships of celebrities that barely make it a year, yet we hold it to the standard of forever. love is cheesy but it is what it is! the media makes us feel like if we're missing something we'll always be incomplete. but truly, if we are out of touch with love or purpose, we must find it; not in instagram stories or 15 second videos, but in the people we know and care for. i think that's why most of us see love as all or nothing, when really if we look around us, there is love everywhere we go. love isn't just a kiss or a hug, love is a part of ourselves we are willing to see in others. as a young person i feel pressured to find "the one" when i haven't even found myself. our missing pieces are room for change and only when we receive love from ourselves can we understand how to love everyone else.

[charlottecheung]

after watching this video, i can say that it pretty much sums up what i'm feeling right now with a special relationship. thank you, thank you so much.

you have my gratitude for being yourself and expressing yourself honestly, vulnerably, beautifully - cuz then i get to understand myself on an honest and vulnerable level. especially when pointing out the "Attachment" issue. the way this video was shot and created (with a hint of vintage), the prose-like voice over, the shots of ordinary life - helped me calm down and immerse into the feelings that your video brought out. thank you, for choosing to present it in this way.

i don't want to "like" this video, cuz i'm just tired of reacting to things on the internet. but, i want to express my thanks and love to you, the content creator, for the beautiful and enlightening impact that your video has on my present moment.

"the internet era" ushers in a whole new way of living, and we are learning how to react to it, to find ourselves within this brave new world.
sending love and my best intentions, c.

[gracieroe]

im shocked by the way in which this video both comforted me and gave me the wake up call ive been needing at the same time. the advice that you would’ve given your 18/19 year old self—am i just trying to win them over or am i having authentic interactions from a place of love and giving—hit me hard. i fantasize so often about having the beautiful love story that is romanticized in the media that im never not expecting it, never not craving it. and the more time passes, the more desperation i feel. but when i let these feelings of lack consume me as a deep feeler, not only do i over analyze every small interaction i have, but it rids these experiences of its genuineness. ive been in a slump for the longest time and falling back into my old self-conscious patterns, but somehow this 7 minute video brought me out of it. beautifully created and well-spoken, thank you <3

[coolbeans]

Turned 18 in April and starting college in August. Terribly overwhelmed atm. Thank you so much for this video. The unknown aspects of a relationship and being vulnerable are very frightening to me. I think I have to learn to be more comfortable with myself in order to cope with this fear.

[Bvirgo]

Hmm… I keep watching this video nonstop and it has made me realize that I have to unlearn so many things in order for me to be at peace with myself specially about love, I’ve always had this idea that constantly texting, calling etc means the person is interested in me that if they don’t constantly do that they don’t love me or are interested in me, I’m slowly coming to terms to accept that it’s not always that way, love doesn’t mean what we know nowadays love is unexpected; without terms and conditions, being constantly glued to a phone to know about someone’s day or life. Love is about how you feel when you think about this person, how you feel when you see this particular person and how your soul reacts to them.

[sungheekim]

Mmm. This was a comforting watch. I was meditating earlier and was asking the universe how I should go on about someone that I like because the stuff online about romance confuses me so much (which is why I try to avoid them). I've learned to be fearful whenever I catch myself liking someone — it's not natural for me, as an expressive person, to suppress my feelings and try not to show my interest and attraction to soneone I like. But really, what a liberating feeling it is when you find the courage to let them know. It was a huge weight off my shoulders, and I finally felt human again.

[liya_]

Gosh this is therapy.
And yea, I too feel the same thing you told about podcasts.
Great video. Much love to you!