Miscellaneous Myths: Hermes

He's fast! He's smart! He should really put on some pants! It's history's most marketable deity, Hermes himself!

(but red, who are those other two guys?)
(shhhhh)

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[Silverwind]

Hades: My name is also the name of the underworld I rule over.
Eros: My name means desire and love.
Hermes: ...my name means pile of rocks.

[acemstudio]

Hermes did more as a fcking infant than I'll ever do in my lifetime.
Damn what an icon.

[weesalikesmilktea]

Imagine being Apollo and your baby half brother's just been born. You're all like "yeah no biggie, I get a new one of those every other week" but then said baby half brother goes and does the equivalent of raiding your snack stash the day he's born

[rojaedavis]

*Hermes:* God of merchants
*Also Hermes:* God of thieves

Great. So he's robbing me both legally and illegally.

[lenax]

Apollo:"Who are you?"
Hermes:"I'm you half brother!"
Apollo:"Do you have any idea how little that narrows it down??!!"

[Grim_Sister]

Apollo: are you calling it a lyre?
Hermes: I’m definitely not calling it a truther

[nooneinparticular]

When no one was looking. Hermes
took *fifty* cows. He took 50 cows.
That's as many as five tens.
And that's terrible.

[escapismatitsworst]

No, but Apollo and Hermes having younger brother/older brother dynamic while Artemis is the oldest sister who thinks both are idiots is absolutely hilarious and somebody needs to write a book about it

[Just_Some_Guy_with_a_Mustache]

"What's the Greek God you see the most influence of in your every day life?"
*Me:* "Is it Hermes?"
"Wrong! It's Hermes."
*Me:* DAMMIT! If I had only known!

[emanuelstornello]

Loki to hermes
Loki: who are you?
Hermes: i'm you, but faster.

[toolazytomakeaname]

Hermes: *literally just left the womb*

Also Hermes: "Oh boy, it's trouble-making time."

[laurakastrup]

I found it hilarious that my father (a doctor) confused Hermes’ staff for the rod of Asclepius and I had to ask him “do you WISH for your patients to enter the underworld? Hermes is a psychopomp”

[GioTheVax]

Hermes is the patron god of Barbie
Source: Barbie has many jobs and degrees at such a young age

[this.weird]

Hermes: *looks at Apollos cows*

Hermes: *_I THINK IM BOUT TO STEAL_*

[TheDakkaman]

I can’t help but notice nobody’s made this observation yet:

Hermes: Arguably the nicest, friendliest, and all-around most helpful of all the Olympians by a significant margin.
Also Hermes: Literally murders and skins the first living creature he ever meets besides his mother to make an instrument like a damn sociopath.

[aethersaltaccount]

Hermes seems like the type of kid that in high school would pull the most rad pranks and ALWAYS get away with them.

[emperon]

Apollo:
Hermes: *hands lyre*
Apollo: Friendship ended with cows lyre is my new best friend

[NeutralDrow]

"Kinda hope you're not dealing with [elemental mercury] daily, but still..."

Well, what *ELSE* can I consume to gain immortality?! That damned monkey ate all the peaches!"

[DefNotThePope]

If Hermes singing "Country Roads" sounds like Red's cover of it, I completely understand how he instantly gained Apollo's approval.

[paodepota]

You know Hermes is the real deal when even Apollo, god of the music and arts, gets addicted to your lyre playing skills.