Miscellaneous Myths: Hyacinthus

This one was surprisingly frequently requested! (It also turned out to be super short, which was convenient for me!)

So prepare for the timeless love story between lovelorn, frequently-rejected sun god Apollo, and Hyacinthus, the Spartan prince who actually said yes to a date! I bet this ends SUPER well and nobody dies at all this time. Yup.

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[elliart]

"I turned my dead boyfriend into a flower."
"That's rough buddy."

[CalliopePony]

"there's zero mythological evidence to support it but I like to think that Dionysus runs a bar on Olympus where everyone comes to chill and/or drown their sorrows"

Headcanon accepted!

[Ian_sothejokeworks]

"I mean, Athens *executes* educated women, and WE'RE the Boy's Club??" That rant is as awesome as Apollo's "God, you're pretty..." look. A+!

[reptilianviolinist]

Me: Hyacinthus? The kinda sounds like Hyacinth... *looks over at Apolo’s previous partners that all turned into plants* ...oh no

[mickymcbryan]

Hyacinthus: I'm worried my culture's standards for male beauty and militaristic strength will cause future historians to view my culture through a warped geo-political lense as opposed to honestly examining us as a people.

Apollo: Gods you're pretty.

[InoMercy]

How much you wanna bet that Artemis's virgin nature is less because of a lack of interest in romance and more because she's been watching Apollo's train wreck of a love life and just said to herself, "Know what? Not fucking worth it."

[meandmybobbygee]

Artemis: I hate men
Apollo: More for me

[maddiemcnugget]

I feel like Blue wrote Hyacinthus’s rant about Sparta.

[silversamurai]

You imagine Dionysus with a bar, and I imagine Apollo with a garden, where he keeps all of his past love







And he waters them with his tears, every. single. day... ;^;

[mythosdove]

Man I really ship them

*literially 20 seconds later*

Oh wait no he’s dead

[Firestar]

I think the funniest part is that Apollo can't save him despite being the God of Medicine and Healing

[turquoisesnowflake]

Artemis: I'm really not interested in romance.
Person: why not?
Apollo: MY THRID GIRLFRIEND THIS WEEK DIED
Artemis: oh... Ok never really sure

[Areanyusernamesleft]

With Apollo's example is it any wonder why Artemis decide to skip the whole love and sex thing?

[_zaaya-t-dp_]

At least he didn't turn into a flower until AFTER the second date. #relationshipgoals

[mparker]

Apollo Failed Attempts:
Daphne: Tree
Castalia: Fountain
Cassandra: Cursed
Acantha: Cactus
Bolina: Cliff
Ocroe: Cliff (And a Boat)
Leucates: Cliff

Hyacinthus: Flower
(Death by Discus)

[shadybean]

0:56 “I just worry that my culture’s powerful military and obsession with physical fitness will cause people in the future to desregard our incredibly progressive societal structure in favor of characterizing us as some kind of meat-headed boy’s club, you know?

I mean, Spartan women are educated, land-owning, and actually allowed to exercise and do sports like the boys - the only difference is they don’t join the military.

Athens executes educated women and we’re the boy’s club?

I just can’t shake the feeling we’re gonna be flanderized into some cardboard prat house while Athens is held up a beacon of civilized progress

Also I hope everyone knows we wear armor when we fight ‘cuz that’d get weird otherwise”


Edit: just realize i commented the exact same thing 3 years ago lmfao

[cristaltophat]

"My first Girlfriend turned into The Moon."

"Thats Rough Buddy."

[marnetteryes]

And let's not forget Hestia, the goddess who went before Zeus himself and made a vow of chastity after Apollo and Poseidon proposed to her

[Infinitysquaredorsomething]

Who else actually paused the video to read Hyacinthus' monologue?

[Forestxavier]

I'm betting Aphrodite just asks Apollo any time she sees him "How did this person go" and by now he has gotten used to saying "Flower"