Classics Summarized: The Odyssey

Funny story. Exporting this monster was almost as difficult as getting back to Ithaca was for our intrepid hero, who - as viewers of The Iliad may note - has inexplicably lost his Solid Snake voice in this production.

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A PLUG: Giorgio Groom, one of our fans, has written some greek-mythology-inspired books he'd like you to check out! Find "The Soldier Of Ares" and "The Legions Of Athena" here:

[danieldaza]

YOU MADE A FULL SPEED AHEAD JOKE 9 YEARS PRIOR, I call that commitment

[redwolf]

Hades: Once again, the only one of my brothers that didn’t make this situation harder. Why. Am. I. Always. The. Bad. Guy?

[brandondavidson]

Odysseus: "We embark on an epic Odyssey"
Odysseus's crew: "What's that?"
Odysseus: "It's a journey named after the only surviving traveler"
The crew: "What."

[zachhaake]

Odysseus after passing the Cyclops, Circe, scylla and Caribdis:
"How did we miss all of this on the way to Troy?"

[OnCuzImBored]

"Oh yeah? Where can I find him?"
"He's dead."

[sflaningam]

Fun fact: Odysseus means "man in constant sorrow."

[thedisguise]

I love how Penelope's response to "your husband will be back before the end of the month" is "do you think I should get remarried". Honestly, I feel like she kinda knew that the beggar was Odysseus and wanted to see his reaction

[kaygirl]

You forgot the bed story!

So to explain my absolute favorite part of The Odyssey, considering it had been ten years and Odysseus didn't exactly look the same as before Penelope still had her doubts, because it was one of those "it's too good to be true" situations and people had actually tried to say they were Odysseus to take the throne before. She wanted to believe it was really her husband but she had to make sure so she hatched another plan. Now, their marriage bed was actually sacred to them, as Odysseus had carved it himself out of a tree that had roots in the foundation of the house itself. Don't ask me why they built their house around a tree, that's just how the story goes. Now, most people didn't know about this, only Penelope and her husband.

So to test to see if it was him she decided to come up with a story. Using the secret of their bed, which only her and Odysseus knew, she told him "Oh, of course we can go to bed, but the room it's in is different now just so you know. And by that I mean I had it moved to a different room." Odysseus lost his shit, not just because he was angry but because he was like "how the HELL did you move the bed woman it was part of a TREE did you YANK IT OFF? Do you know how HARD I worked on that bed and you YANKED IT OFF?" and he goes on this whole rant of exactly how he made the bed, something only he would know. Then she gets all emotional because it really WAS her husband and she's just like "honey it's okay I didn't actually move the bed I just had to be sure" and then they lived happily ever after

[brycevo]

My father is a sailor and loves this epic. I asked him what the lesson was, he said: *Shit Happens*

[bomblessdodongo]

12:20 Fun Fact: according to my high school history teacher, the Greeks considered it disrespectful to kill a man with a bow, as a bow was seen primarily as a hunting tool that should only be used for killing animals (I’m not sure how the context of War would change that idea though) Odysseus then proceeded to murder a fuck ton of the suitors with the bow he just shot, killing all of them while simultaneously calling them all animals

[MaxWelton]

6:56 this is actually Odysseus being really clever. By immobilizing himself and listening to the sirens’ dulcet tones, the crew can observe him and figure out when it’s safe to unplug their ears.

[paolob.]

You missed the part where Penelope wants to be sure he's really Odysseus and she's like: oh, guess I'll move our bed in the living room to sleep there
and Odysseus like: no, damn it! I litterally built it into a olive tree, you can't move it!
and Penolope is like: it's really you!
and then they continue their relationship

[rxrjjxd]

Good news, Odysseus staid with Argos until he died, so Odysseus wasn't just like "Hey buddy! Papa's gotta go murder some people!"
Odysseus staid with Argos until the poor thing let out his last breath, then he cried, and then he was like "Alright, party time"

[connormclernon]

10:43 Argos: Was I a Good Boi?

Thanatos: No...I’m told you were the best

[lynaxfrost]

7:34 Somewhere, you can hear the screams of a thousand Epic the Musical fans.

[Hello_World_not_taken]

“Wait, wait! I’m a mage! I have 2 hit points!”

“Then I suggest you turn them back, before I have to whittle that number to zero”

Such a badass line

[lilly]

My class had a shit fit when Odysseus' dog died.

[vizthex]

"Scylla is one ugly piece of work"


*proceeds to draw her as a hot monstergirl*

[-My-Alter-Ego-]

My brain the whole time:
"He is a warrior of the MIIIINNDDD"
"Thunder bring her, through the wringer"
"Ruthlessness is mercy upon ourselves"

[insanelaughterchick]

So is anyone else super excited about the Odyssey musical that's releasing concept albums?