WHAT IS REACTIVE ATTACHMENT DISORDER (RAD)?

**ONLINE COURSES FOR HEALING AND DEALING WITH BORDERLINE/NARCISSISTIC PARENTS AND HEALING YOUR INNER CHILD BY RE-PARENTING YOURSELF (LINK BELOW)

**FREE CHECKLIST: DO I HAVE NARCISSISTIC AND/OR BORDERLINE PARENTS?

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This video is part of my Wildly Loved series, and identifies Reactive Attachment Disorder in the DSM-5, with the intention of demonstrating the relationship between some clinical diagnoses and mental health issues, as they relate to childhood and attachment wounds.

Please check out my courses (LINK ABOVE):

1. BORDERLINE AND NARCISSISTIC PARENTS: HEALING AND DEALING WITH YOUR TRAUMA

(***This course is designed specifically for you if you were raised by parents who had Narcissistic, Borderline or significantly Emotionally Immature parents.

2. RE-MOTHERED: TRANSFORM YOUR WOUNDED INNER CHILD INTO AN INTERNALIZED, LOVING "MOTHER"

(***This course is designed to help you learn to heal your inner child AND your inner parent if you experienced a complicated childhood or challenging relational wounds).

3. IDENTIFYING CHILDHOOD EMOTIONAL ABUSE AND NEGLECT

Guided journal to help direct healing from childhood coming soon!

xo

*** Additionally, I am only able to work with California residents for weekly therapy once available. If you are interested, please also add in a few brief details in your email including your reasons for seeking treatment, current diagnoses, concerns, etc.

Thank you so very much - I truly and sincerely appreciate you, and the time and thoughts you share here:)

[cecile]

Like you said they are real humans going through intense suffering and yet they are awfully stigmatized and judged. It is sad.

[lizgeedee]

I used to work with kids with developmental disabilities and one of my favorites had RAD. She was adopted when her American parents found her languishing in an orphanage with rat-bitten ears. As her behaviors increased, her parents were not able to manage her and they gave her up to be a ward of the state. I think about her often.

[ericwarnock]

I've not been successful in intimate relationships due to the other fear of being consumed (eaten) in the relationship. I'm 66 y/o now, never married and no kids due to childhood trauma. I went to a psychologist for five years and I found out that due to my creative personality, I've done remarkably well in having some tranquility now. I'm no longer have the omnipresent feeling I'm, going to be killed. I also no longer have the constant Critical Inner Voice telling me, "You're no good, go killed yourself, " while having suicidal ideations.

[elysegambino]

Of course you’re starting out by honestly appraising the DSM! Thank you. You do such a great job acknowledging issues from multiple angles.

[yiravarga]

I have this. It basically just feels like I don’t want to participate in life or existing. It’s like Pathological Demand Avoidance, but without the anxiety or motivation for autonomy. There isn’t fear, or pain, besides emotional dysregulation, just an unwillingness to begin any tasks, goals, or anything like described here, like reaching out for help, or socializing. I experience positive emotions, but expressing them feels forced and effortful. Nothing is automatic, and emotions don’t drive behavior much (both good and bad). It’s a condition that really doesn’t fit anywhere, other than itself.

[nicnichols-ghts]

Hello! Diagnosis RAD. I wasn’t able to react with peek a boo. I always thought they disappeared for life.
Lol Anyways, In my personal situation, I had sexual and physical abuse very early.
I had siblings. so I tried to be a pillar of light for them. But…. I still tested them when I had the chance. I’d hurt them just a little bit. A pinch. Just to see if they would would tell on me or if I could trust them.
I got separated from the home, DCSF. Our living situation wasn’t great, it was neglect.
I was in foster care for 2 years and later was adopted. I went to counseling for years, and was somehow never diagnosed with RAD.

I guess RAD is similar to narcissistic disorders in the way of control. Even when I think on my childhood, it’s about control. If I was out of control, I always found a way to manipulate them back into my control. (Not proud of it now. Wish it would have been caught sooner).
but there were moments when people brought up I was different. suddenly I was able to be… normal. Normal as I had seen it.
Anyways, fast forwards today. I have an amazing job. Kids.
I guess the thing that separates us, or in my case,
is that I can real myself in. I can call myself out and I can stop being manipulative on a dime. If it means that much to me and the people around me, I can see a bigger picture. but sometimes, it does try and pull me back in..
If anyone has RAD..
you can learn to live with it if you can learn to call yourself out. Learn to be accountable and you’ll be okay.
Good luck

[kathydoyel]

I’m a graduate student (Clinical Psychology) and preparing to give a presentation on RAD. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

[pappyville]

No body understands RAD. At 70 years old I have it.. I have paid for it all my life.

[lukas]

Hi Kim, thanx for your video. I am a 45 year old guy who recently received a diagnosis of BPD, With an avoidant personality style however I feel as though these two disorders (BPD & RAD) are in close competition within my conditioning. I’ve been struggling with this since very early childhood with a mother who was often violent and Always terrifying. When I would cry after being verbally or physically abused I would be slapped and told not to feel sorry for myself and to this day I still cannot cry without feeling like I’m a bad person but even if I have every reason to cry, tears simply won’t appear or if they do it’s maybe one tear followed by guilt and shame. I’ve left the victim thing behind but still struggle with this horrible residue of Terror, mistrust of others and myself. Anyway there’s no real question here but you asked for a comment so if for nothing else, many thanx for illuminating my understanding of this topic.❤

[rockdeehouseduelingpianos]

Your last minute was spot on. My mother was murdered when I was 2 years old and I was immediately put into foster care when my father went to prison. I don't know exactly what transpired the first two years of my life but I was told it was very violent I can only assume that's the reason why I lack the ability to love and attach properly. Still trying to find answers cuz there's definitely not a cure for it and most people don't understand it. I just fake my way through interactions whenever possible. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't care, although that's how it comes across in every relationship I've been involved in, cuz I do care and I do have a heart. It's a whole different world when you've never bonded with another human being. My children are in their late teens and early 20s and I have never bonded or attached to them either 😞 makes it rough as an adult, especially when there's no answers

[ericwarnock]

I was diagnosed with RAD from a psychologist about 15 years ago. The symptoms, according to him, are a fear of being killed and eaten. It causes excruciating physical and mental pain.

[katrinachristoffersen]

I know of a girl whose mother moved out when she was young (around 8). The girl is now 12. The bio father wasn’t in the picture at all and hasn’t been since she was very young. The mother couldn’t take care of the child due to mental health issues, so the grandparents took custody. The grandparents have given her a loving, safe and stable home where all of her needs are met, but the girl is still having problems (diagnosed with ADHD and Oppositional Defiant Disorder). Plus she is cutting herself and doing poorly in school. Is it possible that the issues are due to her mother moving out when she was 8?

[mrs.childers]

I am convinced my nephew has it. His dad needs to get on board. My sis in law is wanting help but dad don’t get it.

[Woodman-Spare-that-tree]

You make me laugh when you say, “not responding to cuddles”.
What cuddles? 😂. I never got any offers of cuddles!

[tsukiii]

Both of my parents had addiction one was very neglectful in every way imaginable and had untreated BPD maybe some other things this caused her to be malicious to my siblings and i growing up. And the other parent has a criminal history with law enforcement. had AK cps in and out of my life before i was ten years old, none of them helped me until after that. My mom would drop me and my siblings off at relatives for months maybe a year then she'd come back with a new guy during that time span. She only took us back when my siblings and i saw those temporary family members as "Parents" yes she was envious of them because we weren't calling her mom and started seeing her as a stranger. Thats what she was and is after 11 years later.

Prior to the 11 years i was separated from my siblings (for their safety) i bounced from one relative to another and foster home to another. The constant change of environment was not helpful. In relaity i needed a stable home and caregiver(s) but never got that.

I'm 20 going on to 21 and going into psychology and was Diagnosed with RAD after CPS got involved after the first year being under their so called care.

I still struggle with this disorder and it sometimes disrupts my daily routine in life. And it explains why im unresponsive to certain situations when they accure. Ex. My aunts dog passed away a few months ago and i couldn't understand why i didn't react the way people would react. I couldn't feel it or make myself feel it. But when my gran passed away two months prior i was sad but not breaking down kind of upset. But unfortunately i did go back into depression again after 10 years of suppressing it. I dealt with it for about 5 months and im still dealing with it. All i knew was i was miserable where i was environmentally.

[meganbalut]

Could you explain more about what you mean by developmental trauma? Are you saying that this is how we should be discussing this diagnosis or how would we go about this? It sounds almost like a new diagnosis that needs a new treatment.

[MSihra]

I was hospitalized for 7 weeks with a high risk pregnancy of my second son. My older son was 3 at the time, and I just up and disappeared from his life for those weeks, even though I saw him multiple times a week and spoke to him every day. My mother and husband took care of him during that time. Then his brother was born 3 months premature and was in the hospital for 6 months and he wasn’t able to see him. Hospital rules. And when his brother did come home, he was wearing oxygen and a feeding tube. Our life was a mess for almost 2 years. Because of this, I believe he has this attachment disorder. So bad I took him out of school to homeschool. He’s 16 now, and wants to be by my side 24/7. I take him to therapy and every one always says he’s ADD & OCD. No one ever listens to me about the trauma he experienced as a 3 year old. His life and our life is a living hell. He won’t go out and he doesn’t want me to go anywhere either. I think he may have this RAD disorder.

[sashabrinkhorst]

My dad was beating my mom up when before and after I was born the first three and a half years he locked my mom up in the house sometimes away from me he was putting substances near the baby bed I was 1 when I had my first beer and touched roll tabak my mom and I ran away when I was 3, 5 years old and then my mom became depressed when we had our own home she only lay in bed and couldn't take good care of me I was 5 years old when I was taken to a foster home I was crying so loud that I still remember then I was picked up by my grandma and grandpa i had severe behavior now I'm 19 and I have reactive attachment disorder and I'm depressed I'm tired

[ogash]

I never had my dad. The first time we talked I was 10 telling him its okay and it will get better because he wanted to kill himself. My mother was never really there. I’m still very happy and doing my think but this right here told me everything because I blocked both of my parents

[BlogofTheWst]

How much does systemic racism influence R.A.D.?