How You Can Control Your Emotions with Dr. Fox - Affective Regulation

This video discusses How You Can Control Your Emotions. The emotional dysregulation you feel is a huge part of BPD and it's often associated with many maladaptive beliefs, behaviors, and patterns to control core content,which are those underlying issues that impact how you see yourself and others.

Emotion regulation describes a person’s ability to effectively manage and respond to an emotional experience. We all use unconscious emotion regulation strategies to cope with difficult situations many times throughout each day.

In this video I provide you with questions to help you explore your emotion dysregulation and encourage your emotion regulation.

Additional tips for regulating emotions:

Take Care of Your Physical Needs: Getting a good night’s rest, eating healthfully, and exercising your body are all essential to being able to feel satisfaction in life. We’ve all noticed how much better we can feel after having a good night of restful sleep or after eating a diet of healthy foods. It can be as though we have an entirely fresh perspective on life and it is much easier to overlook the little things that might have annoyed or upset us otherwise.

• Engage in activities that build a sense of achievement: Doing one positive thing every day can lead to a sense of achievement and contentment. We can each benefit from paying more attention to the positive events in our lives. The things that bring us joy have been shown to decrease negative moods and increase positive moods.

• It’s easier to change thoughts than feelings: Thoughts play a critical role in how we experience a situation. When you notice yourself first becoming upset, try to evaluate what you are thinking that is causing that emotion.

Daniel J. Fox, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist in Texas, international speaker, and award winning author. He has been specializing in the treatment and assessment of individuals with personality disorders for over 15 years in the state and federal prison system, universities, and in private practice. His specialty areas include personality disorders, ethics, burnout prevention, and emotional intelligence.

He has published several articles in these areas and is the author of:

Thank you for your attention and I hope you enjoy my videos and find them helpful and subscribe. I always welcome topic suggestions and comments.

FYI: There was an error in the original of this video, the emotions thermometer was blackened out on accident. It is fixed in this video.

[ejmarsiglia]

You are the reason I'm still breathing.

[dustybryan]

It's so frustrating because I'm aware of being triggered on one level, but on another level I often can't control the urge to react because people make me so damned mad.

[jncain]

Hearing your words during this fit of rage I'm experiencing right now ended my "attack" and I immediately felt so low and terrible. But I'm so thankful because I know this episode has passed.

[chewymarshmallow]

I come here when I want to end it all. I hate my brain I hate my lack of control. I hate feeling everything and nothing. You help me calm down...thank you!

[stinksofbeefio]

Your videos are really helping me, can't thank you enough.

[creepydani]

I was dealing with a situation like this earlier today and it made me realize that my reactions have very little to do with reality. As soon as I start interpreting a situation, my thoughts sweep me off my feet. What I ended up doing was using mindfulness to just sit and accept the emotion rather than judge or suppress it. It helped a bit but I have a feeling that I'm going to be referring back to these worksheets the next time this happens.

[kiaraganesha]

Again you managed to provide me with very important information and tools, always with that calming way of talking. You don't look down at us, but straight in the eyes where you convey a feeling of compassion and wanting to truly help. Thank You, you're doing important work and from the heart, to somebody like me with trust issues, somebody like me that always tries to understand the true soul behind the words, this is a Good Thing. Blessings to the kindhearted.

[glennchugg]

Thanks, these are very helpful, long overdue (We should learn this stuff in early school years), I am 37 now and only just learning how to control my emotions rather than them controlling me, strange that I can program a computer, but not calm myself when I feel stressed. It is all skills, but must be natural to most people or it would be taught young right?

[savagebpdangel]

I struggle with alot and I was diagnosed 1 year ago with BPD, your videos help me to see that there are ways to cope, and I am so thankful for them because I am terrified when I go through really intense episodes of overwhelming emotions... I have almost succeeded in taking my life 4 times in the past two years and I don't want to die.. I'm very open to taking your videos to heart and giving my all.. having these issues because I have endured 20 years of abuse, isnt easy at all and I'm finally ready to fight for me and change myself, mainly because if something doesn't change, I can't see myself making it past 30. I really appreciate you!! You give me hope!!!

[audreyshea]

I get stuck! When I get emotional and need to think things through it is usually when I can’t get out to go for a walk or remove my situation. For an example I could be at work. I have BPD although I try not to have that work as an excuse for my rocky behavior. I don’t know how to deregulate when I can’t get away from the person I am responding to. I am a manager of a restaurant sort of get the challenge daily. I want to thank you so much for doing these mini sessions for all of us. I can’t find a physiologist in my area to help me with DBT and your videos are very helpful.

[fionablack]

This man is brilliant in his ability to understand

[jennifermaxine]

I overshare as someone with BPD, always was giving to selfish ppl & getting nothing in return...but I always am respectful to others, unless it's a partner that is a narcissist then I become a complete monster. However, I've had so many relationships with narcissists that I know when to leave & go no contact now...since the relationship is about them, (gaslighting, projecting, mimicking, smearing, falsely accusing me, etc)I learned not to take it personally... They are in a relationship with themselves & scapegoaters. I deserve respect & acknowledgement, we all do. Everyone is so much happier without a nutcase/psychotic narcissist in their life.

[bnv]

I do need a sense of achievement every day. Thank you, Dr. Fox :D

[FleccaRobinson]

I don’t have any mental illness that I know of. I’m here desperately learning so I can make it work with my recently diagnosed Ex with BPD. Something that I have realized about myself is that I almost have too much control over my emotions to the point where I feel upset that I don’t get to experience them with the same intensity that others get to. What I mean is that some thing severely and thoroughly may hurt me and I have that desire to cry for a sweet release of pain but either my body or my mind does not let me. This happens with other emotions like rage also. I always find myself wishing that I was able to feel my emotions like other people do because on the rare occasions that I do get to it feels very relieving.

[TheMellsBells]

I JUST got diagnosed with BPD. Thank you so much for these informational videos

[raeann__]

I can't thank you enough for your videos.

[SabaqnoGaara]

Thank you for the video. Could you please make video about sleep hygiene? I feel like a lot of people underestimate effects of sleep deprivation or sleeping too much on mental health.

[zanthur]

You provide excellent, relavant information in a straightforward manner with such warmth and compassion in your tone! Bless you sir! You are doing a work that is vitally needed in this world.

[Scallopway]

My man dealt with this tonight. I cried for an hour and a half because he was emotionally intense, and I nor his parents couldn't help him. I was so hurt for his parents. I will look into therapy with him tomorrow. He went from age 30 to 10 in 5 seconds.

[kikie]

Putting emotions into words is so difficult for me...it feels like that part of my brain is broken...if that makes any sense