'Is My Emotionally Unavailable Parent A NARCISSIST? Top 9 Signs | Psychotherapy Crash Course

#trauma #childhoodtrauma #tamarahilllpc

All last week we discussed the topic of emotionally detached and unavailable parents. In order to end this topic, I discuss my top 10 signs of being raised by a narcissist.

Being raised by a narcissist and an emotionally unavailable parent can negatively impact your life throughout your development. A narcissist not only struggles with feeling genuine empathy and understanding others, but they also struggle with giving of themselves which is something a parent must do.

Having a narcissist parent is also traumatic because of how they see life and interact with those around them. While a narcissist parent is good at fitting into society and appearing "normal," these kind of parents stick out like a sore thumb sometimes because of how they see life, how they behave, and how they come across to genuine people who can see through their facade.

In this video, I discuss my top 10 signs of a narcissist parent.

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DISCUSSED IN THIS VIDEO:
Intro 0:00
What a narcissistic parent looks like 1:33
SIGNS 3:50
-Emotional unavailability 3:58
-Low stress tolerance 4:48
-Aggressive or rigid 7:02
-Has always struggled in relationships 8:26
-Emotional neediness 9:05
-Religious over-involvement 9:42
-Attention-seeking 11:13
manipulation 11:16
-covering up with money, material, and achievements 11:49

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*Videos are provided for exploration and educational purposes only and does not constitute clinical suggestions or consultation for individual cases.

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----Contact me-------(BUSINESS INQUIRIES ONLY)
I'm Támara, a licensed and internationally/Board certified trauma mental health therapist, with over 12 years experience. I specialize in helping children, teens, and families with mental illness. I also treat psychological/emotional trauma in children, teens, and adults.

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[southernsoul]

I adore your channel 💕 Thank you for sharing your wisdom with us. Hope you’re well and safe 🙏🏽

[powpunkonwhiskey]

In my experience the narc parent has an obligation to feed and clothe their children and that is it. You owe them because they've fed you and put clothes on your back but that's the job done as far as they're concerned. Now you owe them. Baffling really.

[therealspixycat]

I think you forgot one important aspect and that is they corner you can viciously attack in such a manner that totally confuses you. Why? I don't know, may be because your achievements and or independence are threatening there imaginary God like status

[TherapistTamaraHill]

Before I got into private practice, I used to see a lot of parents who were narcissistic and emotionally unavailable. The trauma they caused their children all the way into adulthood was heartbreaking.

[etaokha]

I have a difficult parent and the only way for me was going zero contact and am glad I did.

[TheCoffeeCat]

My mother is exactly like that, through and through. The only thing that has worked so far is zero contact, because she takes and takes and doesn't give anything back without an agenda of ultimate control.

[virginiawilson]

Tamara you are spot on in your videos. Thanks for sharing your knowledge and I wish I saw your channel years ago. This is so refreshing and you are spot on in every single video that I have viewed. Thanks for all your insight.

[Dvest]

@Tamara I watch many ytubers who are survivors of narc abuse but many have agreed with me when I comment as a narc victim myself that in particular black narc moms/dads should have their own separate mental health categories specifically. When I make this comment on various videos nearly all have agreed and I am wondering how you feel about that from what you have seen in your practice.

[sparkerfivethousand]

Usually the particular individual expects all the attention to evolve around them I think this is true along with most achievements are accomplished only with that parent. Anything less is usually the norm in these type of circumstances.

[gomolemokau]

Thank you for this I always wondered why I had emotional problems after my Grandma denied and complained when I needed assistance to go to University after high school even though she had the resources to help, I am her only biological Granddaughter after my Dad her only child died when I was a year old my Mom was not working and I always did well in my school years and showed her my results every-time I went there for holidays and I was always a well behaved child had my teen issues but grew up mature, but that was downhill for me from then in my emotional life and I always felt guilty about why I had this depression from my University times until now, had a baby in Uni and Baby Daddy abandoned me, managed to get myself up but all those emotions got triggered in my adult years after getting into relationships with people who didn’t treat me right and I stayed cause I’m so afraid of abandonment and I never understood these emotions until now, I feel like I had to parent myself most of my life and feel I’m expected to take care of the adults in my family, I’m on road to recovery and take ownership for all my decisions, but it hurts the truth hurts 😢

[anenkaorin]

This is my father all over.
Screams & yells, belittles & abuses you for the fact they've never been a parents a'hole. I cut him off, & am now 40. My other siblings I warned them he hasn't changed, they didn't listen but now they are seeing what he's like.
I can't even recall one time he ever praised me, but is always quick to put me down. He left the family & abandoned us when I turned 17 after he got himself through diplomas & what not after been a labourer all his life, then thought he was too good for us. Now he's married to a woman as cold & nasty as him & he still would rather keep her happy then work on a relationship with his own blood kids as she wants out kept at a distance as if we never existed.

[truthutoda]

I hate to say it but my mother in law is this way to all of her boys. She has 6 and she has hit each of these signs. So sad.

[oonaghmolyneux]

Tamara, you nailed it 100%. Your description IS the narcissistic parent lived experience. I now also believe you can have one fully narcissistic parent (as you describe), and the other parent who is kind, but also loves narcissistic personalities, so brushes over the harm they cause, or keep ‘fixing’ it.