Narcissistic Family: Boundaries That Drive Them CRAZY (but will save you!)

In this video, I discuss the essential boundaries that can drive narcissistic family members crazy but are crucial for your self-differentiation. These boundaries are often met with resistance because they challenge the narcissist's need for control and manipulation. By setting and maintaining these boundaries, you can protect yourself from emotional harm and regain your sense of self.

This video will help you understand which boundaries are vital and how to enforce them effectively, even when facing strong opposition from narcissistic family members. If you're finally ready to get your dysfunctional, narcissistic family out of you and enjoy a life free of their toxic grip, here's how I can help👇🏼

HERE'S HOW I CAN HELP YOU👇🏼

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Jerry Wise, MA, MS, CLC, has helped 10,000s of people heal from family dysfunction and become the true self they were never allowed to be. As a family systems and self-differentiation coach, he leverages 45 years of experience to help clients permanently break free from family-of-origin dysfunction, cultivate healthy relationships, and build a strong sense of self.

****DISCLAIMER: THIS VIDEO IS NOT INTENDED TO SUBSTITUTE FOR PROFESSIONAL COUNSELING. BE SURE TO CONSULT A PROFESSIONAL TO HELP YOU INTEGRATE AND UTILIZE THESE CONCEPTS.****

[jerrywise]

Finally get your family OUT OF YOU & be the true self you were never allowed to be 👇

[CHOOSE_TO_BE_U]

"Arguments keep the enmeshment going." That's a good one!

[qbever]

The word "No" is a complete sentence

[CHOOSE_TO_BE_U]

"My needs are above your demands" ABSOLUTELY!!

[madeleinegrayson]

I always hated family gatherings. Always. Once I moved 2, 000 miles away I was able to say no, stay away and the peace I felt was something I'd never experienced before. I vowed I'd never give that up again, for anyone. The first time I said no, my narc mother lost her sh*t. 25 years later, she seems to have given up but still plays games. I don't see the family at all anymore. I have my own little family and it brings me peace.

[Cassie-ptmt]

Telling my Golden Child older sister, "No." She rages just like our raging, alcoholic father raged. "No" is not an acceptable answer. Obedience is mandatory.

[NavaSDMB]

Internal mantra: "your tantrums do not constitute an emergency on my part".

[caoimhe]

Jerry Wise you were the first person to teach me (at 36 years old) that I am worthy of and allowed to have and set boundaries. Thank you for that

[Jesusisking]

At 61 I finally came to the realization that my family was/is not healthy. It's SO FREEING to break free from their control through guilt. It feels that their biggest threat was seeing me healthy.

[ChristianBurkart]

I have set my boundaries: No contact!
It works great, I don't miss anyone or anything and suddenly everything is so peaceful.

[donnakelley]

I had to sit at the kitchen table at dinner time while my father yelled at everyone. When I got older when he started yelling and ranting I would get up and leave the table. That made him furious. He said I was being disrespectful of him. But he never acknowledged that for years he was utterly disrespectful of me while I was trying to eat my evening meal. I had stomach aches all the way through out my childhood.

[carlocharisma]

I hate my parents for how they treated me. My dad admitted that they purposely blocked my development as a child. Just out of their own vanity and insecurities. What an aweful place this world is

[falconbritt]

After a while I realized that ALL "help" was purely to establish strings, obligations that would be brought up later. These were strings that would not be mentioned up front, of course. Ever. And as if the hidden strings weren't bad enough, they would expect HUGE payback in terms of obligations for any small help. Often ongoing and time consuming (and energy draining) obligations. When I finally began refusing to take money or gifts, the individual freaked out on the spot, in actual terror. Which shocked me, because it revealed how very consciously the person had been using support and gifts as a control tactic.

[AC-drlv]

Boundaries. Holidays with my dysfunctional family were always disappointing to say the least, and I dreaded showing up, but did so hoping for the best. One year, I begrudgingly arrived for Christmas. Mother was murdering vegetables and cursing in the kitchen, father and siblings were in their own rooms. I was alone in the living room. I couldn’t take it and walked out, knowing full well the kind of day that was ahead. Well, guess who ruined Christmas that year? This girl! 😂I was harassed for days. (“Take back your presents! I don’t want them.”) When I question my own sanity, I reflect on that and similar situations and I know I’m not crazy, and that low contact is justified and necessary.

[bowiearcangeli]

Me too! I called the Sheriff on them the last time they ignored the boundary I had set with them. The next time, I’ll have them arrested for trespassing! Sound mean and cruel? I don’t care. It’s for my own wellbeing and peacefulness.

[monicaperez]

Arguments = Power Struggles, especially "one-way" (their side) arguments.

[maddistone]

Saying no to any kind of help irks them. I had a car accident a few months back. They offered help with transportation. Nope. My insurance covers rentals and I was not going to let them weasel their way back into my life. Plus I don't like owing people.

[annekevankemenade]

There is only 1 thing possible with narcissitic family. Close the door to them and never look back and heal yourself.

[CowichanValleyRD]

Not justifying why I am saying yes or no has driven my toxic family crazy and is helping me heal. As time goes on, I am experiencing more internal freedom.

[leo-dbdo]

All parents die... When your parents die and you look back on your adult life... How much of it was yours, truly independent of your parents?.. Even if your parents are alive, you should still live an adult life of your own irrelevant to their settings, ideas and opinions...So, when they die, you look back and think, yes, I've lived my own adult life all this time... The only thing they can expect is some material help in times of need... That's all, in all other personal ways you are absolutely free to build your own life as if they don't exist... Your own life should always prevail tbh You can't build your life making your parents (dead or alive) happy because then it wouldn't be you and your life... Time is precious... Your life, your values and happiness...