Why I Hate Romancing Shane in Stardew Valley

#StardewValley #shorts

[pomegrenade]

I 100% agree, and plus the factor that he starts drinking heavily again if your relationship begins to fade rly shows how we’re the only thing keeping him active, and I think thats not a stable thing for someone that you’ve married to have

[dumbor]

Can't lie- it's less of a "I can fix him" for me. I just relate to him. So I felt naturally compelled :D I fell in love after a while. Especially after seeing him and chickens

[mothbaby]

I agree, but I also see his story as something a bit more along the lines of quiet understanding. I imagine the player isn't pushing themselves into Shane, but is just saying hi, waving at him, or asking about his week. It's just a friendly gesture you do, not forcing anything, and as your relationship grows he opens up a bit more, about family, work and his drinking. As this continues, you kinda get to know him more and slowly develop feelings, etc etc. As far as the drinking goes, I think that it is odd that the player is kinda responsible for "saving" him, but he has plenty of reasons to stop drinking that he talks about!! For Marnie, for his job, for himself, for Jaz, and now, for someone else who cares about him. So the player just helped push him in the right direction I suppose. To say that the player is manipulative and implying that you shouldn't be able to romance him implies that people struggling with addiction shouldn't be in romantic relationships, which is much more icky than the relationship itself, but your opinions are valid so yeah. Just wanted to share :]

[fiveythefox]

The reason I like Shane is how realistic he is. The reason he doesn’t want anything to do with you is do to depression. Even with you saving his life and taking him into your home, only he can fix himself which is a slow process like the real world. Seeing him fight his battles every day gives people like me a goal to push on.

[jasperjazzie]

i like him as a character, but not as a spouse
i just hate that you become his therapist, and if you were to ever leave him you'd basically singlehandedly destroy his life, no pressure or anything

[biato]

To me it's not a "I can fix him" because he doesn't really go back to drinking, when you marry him he says it's Joja Cola, and before you even date him he had decided on his own to seek therapy, all I ever did was tell him I'd be there for him. He never drops drinking completely, but he drinks a lot less, which is why he got Jas those new expensive shoes and I'm proud of him for that. Plus...he's so cute with Charlie

[michaelbuchanan]

I wish he just not naturally better through befriending him instead of dating him. But his growth is a reason I resonated twords him originally. I saw someone at his lowest in life and saw myself through him. I wanted to help him so bad I eventually found myself married to him. Sure he's a more boring choice for romance but I feel like I can connect to him more emotionally then others in the valley.

[strawberrycosmonaut]

"sole responsibility" is such a weird take, when there's only really one time you have an actual input with what he does with his life, and even then, the most you out into it is "hey I here for you man". The other being the one where he makes jas cry, but all you did was. Dump some water in him to wake him up.
You don't ever even tell him to cut back on drinking. HE gets himself to therapy. HE starts drinking less. HE starts doing weird shit with the chickens.

Ya sure he tells you to fuck off when he doesn't know you. So you say hi to him at the saloon sometimes and buy him a pizza/beer. At most you intrude on like. 2% of his day.

In the end. This isn't even about liking Shane or not. But honestly? We take way too much fucking credit for ""fixing Shane"" he gets his own shit together and wants to take care of his god daughter.

[meamagic]

I do befriend him, but I always romance sebastian

[rosiequartzgachafandoms]

"Oh I can fix him!! 🥺🥺🥺"
NAHHHH I CAN MAKE HIM WORSE

[gwendolynrobinson]

I know i would never do it to someone IRL, but I like that he's mean and you can wear him down with gifts and talking to him. Everyone else starts off lukewarm at worst, I think him being straight up rude is HILARIOUS. Even Haley isnt that mean, she's just bratty and high maintenance. Plus if I want to dance with a dude at the first flower festival, Shane is an easy option and cheap option lmao. You can also easily marry him before summer 1 if you want to get that ball rolling.

I just like that I can annoy someone mean into being my friend and a lot nicer (in a game). It's something that tickles me. I think he's got a lot of cute moments besides that too haha. But MAN his room in the farmer's house almost makes him not worth marrying lmaooo

[gigachad]

Not reading any of the comments. My argument for marrying Shane: he’s hot

[SamiiSam]

Cant agree more. I like his character and the story of him slowly wanting help with his alcoholism, but he shouldnt have been changed to be a romancable character, he should have stayed a regular npc you befriend.
This "i can fix him/her" trope is becoming so popular in games that have romancing and its...quite disturbing.

[shyfoxfeatherhere]

I like Harvey. And not just because he sometimes makes me breakfast, feeds the animals, or fixes the fenceing. Hes just adorable

[casey]

people aren't romacing him to fix him (which literally isn't the plot since he still drinks sometimes after marriage) it's more like "he's just like me fr"

[victoriahewitt]

He feels like he needs a friend & isn't in a place for a healthy marriage yet. I enjoy helping him find a better life, but yeah, you're spot on.

[vincee]

I absolutely understand why people think that way, but for me it doesn't feel like a "i can fix him" but more like totally healthy "I can support him".
(Spoilers incoming)
In Shane's two hearts event, he's alone at night at the lake and when the player comes by, he invites them for a drink and talks about his depression, without being influenced by a conversation starter you can choose or something. Also, you can't select an answer or something - you are literally just listening to him about his feelings, you don't act like a therapist.
In the four hearts event, Shane is at home with Marnie and Jas, but he's passed out. Marnie is the one asking you to help him, so you water his face. When Shane woke up, he spoke to Marnie (and to Marnie only!), you were more of a witness of her misunderstanding his feelings. I think that definitely shows how lonely he must feel, since he has no one who's really there for him, who gets his struggles - no one except the player, which is probably the point where people think the player is saving him.
But if we look at the six heart event, it doesn't really support the idea of a "i can fix him" relationship. Shane is laying at the end of a cliff, completely drunk and he wants to end his life. You have 4 options to select: Telling him that there's so much to live for, that Jas needs him, that it would be a sin, and that it is HIS decision to end his life or not, but you're there for him (the only option that doesn't make him act dismissive). I think ConsernedApe did such a good job with this last option, because I interpret it as stating that the player cannot heal Shane, but instead they are supporting and listening to him. People suffering from depression often feel like they don't have control over their lives (something that Shane literally said in the event), so telling him otherwise means so much.
The next day, Shane visits you, saying how he is sorry for what happened and that HE himself wants to get better, so he is NOT a burden on anyone. Also, he is seeing a actual therapist now.

I think the player only acts like a friend should do, not like he tries to fix him. All we do is listening, showing Shame someone cares and I think ConcernedApe did such a good job with that.

[vanralf]

I found Shane relatable which is why I chose him. Every time someone describes Shane, I'm like, yeah that's me too.

[dreamy_kiwi]

I get those points, and I 100% wouldn’t romance a guy like that irl, their mental health is not my responsibility


… but this is a game and I think he’s cute so shush, lemme have this T-T

[ScorpSteed]

I see where you’re coming from about the co-dependent relationship aspect and how romancing him seems like a “I can save him” type thing, but I’m gonna point to his seven heart events, which you can get without the intention of romancing him. It’s not right after the six heart event, needing a few days to get that next heart, but to me, that showed he managed to turn himself around, mostly by himself. He could see how his habits were hurting his loved ones (mostly Jas, but maybe the player character too) and has cut back on his drinking. I love Shane, he was the realest to me and a pretty surprising character to come out of a game inspired by Harvest Moon. I probably wouldn’t romance him again, but I’d always like to befriend him.