The Definitive (𝙩𝙤𝙩𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙗𝙞𝙖𝙨𝙚𝙙) Ranking of Stardew Valley Spouses

#StardewValley #shorts

[lapras]

All spouses: 0/10
Moving in with Krobus: 19/10

[Lakjager]

I hated Shane till I saw his arc, his story really seems like the most real person in the game, he overcomes addiction cures his depression and becomes a pretty nice guy. Unlike every body else he seems like somebody I'd actually meet.

[Robert-vkje]

Maru is underrated. Everytime she gifts me a bomb, it makes me smile.

[astortawa]

"Basically diet Haley in terms of character development" sent me XD

[Magevast]

“I think people only like her because she’s nerdy and has purple hair”
I have never felt so insulted and disrespected and!- yeah you basically hit the nail on the head.

[makq]

the sam slander hurts my soul, he’s such a good husband and his post marriage arc is so adorable i always choose him

[sparkly-chan]

Nothing screams more "facts" than rating Sebby a 10/10 we stan frog man

[kingaspendude]

I like Shane because I’ve struggled with depression, addiction, etc and watching him struggle I didn’t want him to suffer alone and if I could make his life a little more stable and happy I’d want to, realising this sounds like a saviour complex but come on blue chickens

[mariskaferreira]

Not you rating Penny low for being boring and then giving HARVEY a high score? Bestie, this man does nothing but tell you to take vitamins in every dialogue.

[martemil]

I starded playing the game recently and for now I only married Abigail.
I liked her design so I was like "she could be an option" but I wasn't sure.
Then I discovered she had a sword and as a lesbian I went wild

[Iotuseater]

Shane as an NPC: 🤩💖✨
Shane as a spouse: 🤮😭🔫

[kaloiikoi]

Alex will forever be my himbo I love him and his heart event made me cry

[clovercurator]

As a queer man whose ideal type is "dramatic and more than a little pathetic, " Elliott is the perfect man.

[starsomely]

FINALLY SOMEONE WHO DOESNT SLANDER HALEYYY 😭😭

[MostAttractiveDudeInTown]

I cannot get over Maru's ranking. She is such a sweetheart in my eyes. You say she is really snobby when she isn't. She just enjoys nerding out a lot. Sure she is a golden child, but i blame that on Demetrius. I mean Sebastian says that Demetrius doesn't care about him one bit. Part of the blame goes to Robin too. She does kinda try to reach out to him, but she seems to immediately give up. Maru is willing to talk to him, but Sebastian supposedly refuses. Even when married to Maru I have had dialog with her where she expresses concern for Sebastian and she says she is willing to invite him for dinner. I have only gotten this dialog once, but i stil love it when she worries if Sebastian is ever going to work up the courage to ask out Abigail. This hints to at least a slight bit of connection between the two, wich i really like. Tho maybe she is just making assumptions about him as a way to cope about the lack of connection between the two, in wich case i will cry, for weeks. That in addition to her being one of the few villagers who doesn’t immediately tell you to get lost or asks to be left alone or ignores you or assumes a random negative thing about you is a big plus for me. Like she seems genuinely joyful to have a new person in town. The only real problem with her is her lack of social skills and insecurity. The social skills are pretty self-evident, many people seem to think she is snobbish, when i don't think she is. As a person who has a lot of issues communicating, i see a bit of myself in Maru. I just see her as well-meaning but not very well aware of how what she says and how she says what she says may come over to others. As for her insecurities it is a little more subtle, for the most part. She seems to blame herself for her lack of connection with Sebastian, wich is only worsened by her lack of communication skills. She seems concerned about her weight (when married, she has a rather common dialog where she ponders about wether she should make chocolate cake or just take a strawberry for a snack and then asks you if she is gaining too much weight). She also seems to panick about small things such as the sample at the doctor's office and is very concerned about doing the right thing, but has to ask you what to do, again looping back to that lack of social ability. I know you have a bias towards Sebastian, but maybe this helps you better understand Maru at the very least. I think she is a very underrated character and one i feel a lot of sympathy for and see a bit of myself in.

TL;DR: Maru isn't snobbish. She is willing to make new friends and wants connection with her brother, but doesn't know how to go about it. She does express genuine concern for her parents and Sebastian even his crush on Abby, wich may or may not be real. She is also pretty insecure, blaming herself for her lack of connection with Sebastian even though it is Demetrius who seems to be at fault. In her 4 heart cutscene she also seems very quick to worry about screwing up and doing the morally right thing. This all makes me feel very sorry for her and i just wanna give her a hug to let her know everything is alright.

[windgamer]

“Sebby! We need to start a relationship Sebby!

[Zazabazaa]

Calling Emily the "I'm not like other girls" trait feels a bit odd... I mean she's definitely supposed to be the odd one, she's basically the hippy, but the "I'm not like other girls" thing requires more of a sense of superiority due to a mismanaged sense of insecurity that she's completely missing. She doesn't care what others think, and she doesn't look down on others, she's just out there living her life the way she wants to. It's great!
And Sam may not be the best seeming parent at first but it's pretty clear that he grows from that, he even becomes a music producer for a kids show.
Also I like Harvey cuz he's a nerdy sweetheart.
I could say a lot about all of them though, I got a poly mod and married all of them. They live in my house and say cute things to each other and now I ship most of them together too (apart from the siblings of course)

[Epicdragon-vnhu]

"People only like her because she's nerdy and has purple"
"Omg goth daddy"

Edit: wtf has happened to my replies

[sharkysharktimes]

Honestly, as a person who married Elliott I deeply thank you for not stomping all over him

[verykoolgal]

yes omg i love haley!
her changing from a very material person who was super judgy, to someone who wanted to work on the farm with you and tries go out of her comfort zone was rlly interesting!
also im a sucker for the mean girl turns nice trope