The Female Narcissist: warning signs ⚠️

Female narcissists are common and they can be just as manipulative, controlling, and vengeful.


Let me know in the comments if you've experienced a female narcissist in your life.

Mel 🦋

[frangipanicove]

I have the most damaging experience, lost all confidence and after 2 years only starting to get my life back. It’s hard to believe in hindsight I accepted all the abuse.

[zisaanmalik]

I helped get her a job, gave her love, cared for her when she was sick, and helped her out when she got robbed. What did I get in return? Head games, a breakup when I had Covid, constant hot and cold, broken promises and commitments and her already moving on while I was in a relationship with her.

I would not even wish this horrible treatment on any of my enemies. I felt foolish for ignoring the red flags and constantly apologizing.

This experience changed me however for the better. I've gotten tougher more resilient and I'm happy to be single. I also have way more me time.

[hydrarkt]

I experienced this recently but didn't understand what it was. I was initially love bombed. Then my minor "infractions" got turned into a way for her to belittle and extract things, while blaming me on everything, along with constant criticism. I finally recognized it was her and not me, learned about narcissism and was able to escape intact:)

[ItsAndreWilliams]

You spelled it out PERFECTLY!!! This is the EXACT experience I had with the mother of our now, 22 month old. It’s still an absolute nightmare.

[everetteducro]

I was married to one for 15 years.Once God delivered me from that toxic relationship, i started to see more of the narcissist around me.Sisters family members.Everything you are saying is true about these demons.

[michellecrichfuqua]

I was in a relationship with a narcissist he passed away in 2014, but now my son who's 28 is in a relationship with a narcissistic female. He's really struggling to break free and they have a child together, so everything you said is true and wow it's a lot

[melissaschank]

The more I heal, the more I see how me being an unhealed empath, I acted JUST LIKE A NARCISSIST!!!! You just described how I used to be in a romantic relationship before your NARP program. I used to say that I didn't like who I turned into in a romantic relationship. I was always very happy and chill while single. Imagine my shock, horror, and surprise when I started healing, and heard myself say numerous times, "I did that to Joe, or OMG, I did that to Mike"...The realization that I was also a toxic person, and not the only victim, pushed my wanting to heal over the edge. I'm learning, healing and growing daily. I appreciate your help!♥️

[susangavaghan]

I met my narcissist friend during a vulnerable time and we began going out for nights out. I had a job but she didn't work and didn't seem interested in finding work. I used to help her out financially and pay for her on evenings out. She was fun to be with but I did notice that she behaved a little strange. She would make inappropriate comments about my age, weight and dress sense. Initially I brushed it off because I enjoyed going out with her. I noticed she enjoyed winding people up. A guy broke up with her because she was constantly criticizing him and he met someone else. To try to get him back she pretended to be pregnant for 3 months - this failed and she pretended to have had a miscarriage. Because her gaslighting this guy hadn't worked, she turned on me. For 6 months she began continually criticizing me and doing her best to attack my self confidence. Shortly before Christmas we went for a night out in a bar in town. Some guys came up to us and began chatting. One guy began chatting to her. After that she tricked me into a conversation which ended up with her criticizing my appearance. The next day I rang her and she said that the guy she had been talking to had been telling her that I was much too old to go out with her and that I must be dragging her down, and that men probably don't chat her up while she is with me. I knew this to be a lie, what I was hearing was her opinion of me. I had been moved to a job I was unhappy in and I was feeling very vulnerable. That just tipped me over the edge and I sank into a sever depression which lasted 3 months. After this I dropped her; however she immediately began bombarded me with phone calls and letters saying she hadn't meant to upset me and had only said it out of concern. I began writing to her and used cold logic on her - in face to face conversations with her, she always seemed to manage to outwit me. I told her that it was unlikely that a man would come up to a woman and begin criticizing her friend, and if so why she didn't tell him to get lost. Also, I brought up a similar incident when she had been saying that someone had been criticizing me and I asked this person who told me it was in fact the narcissist. I then asked her why she continually seeks the friendship of someone who 'dragged her down'. The satisfaction of getting the better of her was fantastic. I heard from her some years later and she wrote and said she had seen me in town and wanted to speak to me but didn't want to be rebuffed. She said she was a fool the way she behaved and she sincerely regretted it and said surely after all this time I should have forgiven what she did. I replied saying that I still didn't believe what she had said (she never admitted that she lied). I also told her that in order to be friends with people you have to be able to trust them - the trust is gone. Shortly after ending the friendship with her I made a really good friend who is completely on my wavelength and through her I met a new group of really nice people. I hope this gives an insight into how these people work and they can be very dangerous. They get into your psyche, find your vulnerabilities and make you feel worthless.
When trying to hoover me back she would say 'if you need me I am here'. It turned out it wasn't me who needed her, it was the other way around.

[jeffreygoggans]

I just broke up with a female narcissist after 6 months of a roller coaster ride. She is an immigrant from Venezuela and we met on a dating app. It was all romance, words of affirmation and intimacy. We talked about marriage in the future, eventually having kids, etc. Once she knew I was hooked she started becoming distant, gaslighting me when I expressed my concerns, promises of better communication that went unfulfilled, making me question my sanity and never reciprocating monetarily after all the money I spent on her and her two children. Two week ago she sent me a novel of a text about how I was boring her and I didn’t do enough for her (thinking I would drop to my knees and beg for her love) I dropped her like a hot potato and blocked her. I’m just now feeling like myself again. What a toxic situation to get myself into.

[paulzedxninja]

They like to lead you on and as soon as you fall for their game the mask slips. It almost looks like a direct personality switch from out of nowhere. 🥺

[ItsBigJC]

Oh yes ! She was the angel I had waited for, until she started to get comfortable. Found out later down the line she has always been the same and has just leached men her whole life. The guy after me ended up far worse than me financially and mentally. Absolute horrid person

[gluv]

This was my mother. So sweet and wonderful outside the home, but at home the total opposite!! Emotionally and verbally abusive and sometimes physically. It was horrible.

[StompMom]

Most narcissist I have dealt with have been female. My husband was very abusive and definitely narcissist however, he was diagnosed sociopath during his stay at several mental hospitals. Even shock treatment didn't get rid of that nasty entitlement "I own you" behavior

[JamesThomas-zler]

Wow, the most concise description of my ex to date 😢
My therapist/counsellor told me at the FIRST appointment to “run far, run fast: you will never please her or do the right thing!”

[MLJ]

My abusive (mentally, emotionally, spiritually, financially, verbally and physically abusive) ex-wife had both Borderline Personality Disorder and Narcissistic Personality Disorder (which she was professionally diagnosed as having by a licensed psychiatrist when she was admitted to the local mental hospital). You hit the nail on the head with this short video. ✌️

[christopherlewis]

I am currently suffering the worst experience of my life. Worst part is i cant break the bond. She has discarded me, but im now hoovering and sending messages i know shes not getting. I cant stop loving her and blaming myself. When someone is covert... Its truly covert. All the red flags were there. I didnt ignore them. However i continued to take the role of a stronger emotional figure and dealt with it. Eventually i became completely confused. More than a year of sleepless nights awake crying wondering what is real or what isnt. Telling myself that i cant screw this up. That no matter how right i am i just have to find better ways to deal with it since any attempt to communicate healthily or in any way was sure to start a fight that would lead to her finding a way to play the victim. Deflection, projection, twisting, abstract denials, any attempt to avoid the issues even if i took fault. I.e. "babe, im noticing things that are affecting me, but im scared to bring them up because i dont want to seem critical and i dont want to ask for something i feel should be there inherently. Maybe its something about me that is bothering you or im doing something wrong." "No nothings wrong. Why?" "Because its very obvious. Everything i say upsets you or you get defensive even if i just ask you what you would like to watch. You dont show me any affection and havent in months. You dont tell me im handsome. Youre buried in your phone." Then here comes the "its all or nothing with you chris! You act like ive never done anything for you! What about MY needs?" "Right! What about your needs. What can i do to better meet your needs?" "Nothing chris! Youre perfect everyone loves you youre so great and im a shitty girlfriend." "No. I love you and i just miss you thats all. I feel like we have lost our connection. You say you arent horny and have no drive but 20min later i catch you masturbating. Its things like that that are tearing at me." "God chris! Its masturbation its normal its healthy you should trying it! Its all about sex to you!" "No. Ive never once asked for sex. Ive never once mentioned it before. I dont need sex but id appreciate some form of intimacy." This would go on for days until i finally would start to raise my voice almost yelling "please stop! I love you i jist want the argument to stop! All i wanted was some fucking reassurance! This is what i get? Shame on ME! youd rather fuck plastic than MY skin." And thats all it takes... Then she would say im violent. And thats why shes withdrawn. I would say you cant hold the last thing said in an argument as the cause of the argument. She would say i was minimizing her feelings and that im an abuser. I would have to say then if you feel that way i am forced to protect you with my absence. You should feel the safest with me. If you feel endangered by me then what do i do? Why are you here? Am i forced to leave? Maybe you should go spend time with your folks... Then shed come back and it was love bombing and apologies that were very believable. Signs of honest change. But it wouldnt last long. It was a cycle that worsened over years. Until i caught her lying on camera by accident. I caught her creating a smear campaign. And thats when i knew.... It was a masquerade. Charades. I couldnt keep quiet. I let the cat out of the bag and the passive aggression and disrespect started flowing from her like a fountain. Until i threatened to end the relationship then the apologies began to flood in and i wasnt buying it. So i kept saying how could you? I loved you. Then she started blowing the dog whistle and i blew up and yelled, no i screamed over the phone while i was on my knees doubled over in agony and grief... FUCK YOU TOO!" i hung up and texted her that i wanted her out of the house. She left. But she didnt go without a final set of blows to my psyche. Shes a therapist. And a recovered addict. She is a master of manipulation and mind control. I have never had any mental health issues ever before. I am now on lexipro, seeing therapists, having incredible panic attacks. Ive lost my job. She isolated me from my life. She has gone no contact saying im a narcissist and telling people that she locked herself in a room for 3 days with a knife because she thought i was going to come kill her. Ive never once said anything threatening to her. I have never said anything but how much i love her and whatever shes going through i would support her. I spent half a million building a house for us near her family who i reconnected her with and uprooted my life to move here. So so much devastation and chaos. Its absolutely unimaginable what someone put you through. I never thought id be here. But for some reason... I still love her so so much. She was mirroring my good qualities and so i fell in love with a facade. I know this yet my brain and my heart cant communicate yet. Too much anxiety and depression and betrayal. The wires are still crossed. If she came through the door right now... Id say we all deserve as many chances as it takes. But id know she doesnt truly care.

[sintochan]

I lost my job... Self esteem and confidence.. It's been two years of discard from a female narcissist... In the beginning it was like heaven.. But later.... I've no words

[chuckg]

Its never enough for them. Theyll never be happy. Go no contact & see how they squirm. Stay strong kings 🙏

[Random_dudestuff]

Mine was the woman of my dreams. Couldn’t wait to marry her, have kids with her, the house, etc. Moved way too fast because it “felt right.” And now I’m in the most painful, debilitating, and exhausting situation I have ever experienced in my life. If we didn’t have a child together, I’d never speak to her again.

[johnfernandes]

8 years of suffering I'm just happy I'm out of this nightmare. Education with channels like these opened my eyes.