10 Red Flags of the Female Covert Narcissist

In this video, you will learn 10 signs that you are getting into a relationship (or already in a relationship) with a female covert narcissist.

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It's my intention that everyone who watches gets at least one important take-away. 🙏

About Me
Hi! I'm Lise Leblanc. I am a therapist, life coach, and author of 9 self-healing guides. I have over 20 years of experience in therapeutic, educational, and leadership roles.

0:00-0:55: Introduction
0:55-2:16: #1 Intimacy and Connection
2:16-2:51: #2 Vulnerability / Victim
2:51-3:23: #3 Past relationships end badly
3:23-4:22: #4 Manipulation
4:22-5:21: #5 Sex bombing
5:21-6:31: #6 Mask starts to come off
6:31-6:40 : #7 Isolates you
6:40-7:44: #8 Different in public
7:44-8:16: #9 You stop holding your ground
8:16-8:30: #10 You lose yourself
Conclusion (8:30)

#narcissist, #NPD, #narcissisticpersonalitydisorder, #covertnarcissism, #femalenarcissist

[thelodgersoak]

This is spot on. Another flag is that they will change history, convincing you that your memory of an event is wrong; sometimes to the point that you doubt your own sanity.

[DireWolfForge]

One giant red flag is a lack of introspection. They just can’t see themselves as ever being at fault to themselves. It’s always someone or something else’s fault why they behave a certain way.

[ryanwolf]

"Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option." Mark Twain

[jbq]

I couldn't help but break down during this video. I've experienced all of these. The worst is losing your desire to stand up for yourself just to keep the peace.

[Fix_em_jets]

Getting out of one of these relationships was one of the most emotionally painful things I've been through. A year later, I have healed and can watch these videos every once in a while and smile. I know now that walking away from her was the best decision I could have made. It must be so exhausting living with NPD, never being happy, always having to be right, the best looking etc. Time is their only true fear in life as their youthfulness fades away with every empty relationship. A never ending cycle that is always someone else's fault.

[jfsebastian]

Lack of showing gratitude is a big one. Not hearing the simple phrase "thank you" from a covert narcissist is a massive red flag.

[AlexRyan]

Another flag: Effortless dishonesty.
Zero internal conflict

[bjg]

The female narcissist will always always always play the victim. In every disagreement she will be the victim - making you feel like you crossed some line etc… just wild. Thank you for putting this out there - people need to know.

[guenthermarschall]

Things that struck me in addition to what has been said here: 1) She called others narcissists. 2) She can't stand being criticised. 3) One cannot clarify misunderstandings. 4) One cannot establish genuine emotional closeness. 5) If you allude to something, it was just a joke. 6) She doesn't stick to agreements. 7) She ist self-righteous - and tells the world and me how sincere and good she is. 8) She is vain - even if she says, that she is so relaxed, easy going and down to earth. 9) She doesn't always tell the truth.

[ncapone]

These flags are spot on! Seven years ago I walked away from a five year relationship that was horribly emotionally, verbally (and physically at times) abusive. I don't know why YouTube recommended I watch these videos on female narcissists but they've really helped me understand what I went through. From 23-27 I was with someone who was 21 years older than I am, and at the time I was too naïve to see the red flags. The first year was pretty good except for a couple of weird incidents. The first big one that I can recall was about a month in and I went to the guitar store with my roommate while she went to the grocery store (which I didn't even know at the time). She was unreasonably mad at me for not being around to help her carry in the groceries and ghosted me for two days while I wondered what I did wrong and I scrambled to try to make things better. We weren't even living together at the time and I wasn't spending all of my time at her house so I didn't think I had to be around for groceries yet. That's just the first of many situations. She repeatedly accused me of cheating, hacked into my phone to see who I was texting all the while she was doing the same as I found out later (but denied it when I brought it up). She refused to let me get a job so she could keep me under financial dependence and I finally was able to convince her to let me go back to school and get a job. The first opportunity I could move out, I did. I just moved everything out one day without telling her while she was convinced that I was cheating on her. Sorry for the long post but I haven't really spoken a lot about it in seven years so it's good to get it all out. I'm now married and quite successful and my wife is the complete opposite and I couldn't be more grateful.

[peterklein]

walking on eggshells, Hollow eyes, can't let you speak one sentence without interrupting, mrs know it all, the unaknowledged super talent, the big mouthed diva, etc

[treewx]

Another red flag is when they have an overly negative opinion of someone you know to be a good person. My ex used to say that my Dad was manipulative. Obviously I have known my dad my whole life, he has only ever been a gentle kind person, he would never manipulate someone. If your partner starts describing people you know to be nice as being bad people, be careful.

[HarryWolf]

"When someone shows you who they really are, believe them the first time . . ."

Maya Angelou

[TheBaronVSP]

It breaks my heart how accurate this is. If this video had been released 7 years ago it wouldve saved me from a mountain of suffering.

[joelmck]

I'm shaking... you've pinpointed what I've suspected. I'll be looking for help to gain control of my life again. Thank you.

[TheJberrie]

Another red flag is what I would refer to as a “poke/watch.” It’s something my ex would do all the time. She would often test my boundaries early on (and occasionally as time went on) by saying something that would illicit a reaction out of me, like a subtle insult, a negative comment or a condescending remark. Then, it was as if she’d step back with guarded body language and watch me intently, searching my face, closely watching how I would respond. It’s something I’ve encountered with other narcs as well. It seems to be their way of gathering intelligence and chipping away at your boundaries until they’ve completely infiltrated your defences.

[WarrenCromartie]

Another thing to look out for is the absence of female friends. A woman who can’t form friendships with other women is trouble. I know from experience!

[almarti]

I was in a relationship with a female covert narcissist for 3 years and experienced these exact events and more. I was left devastated and dumbfounded and it wasn't until I left the relationship and got my life back that I became whole again. That narc ability to "flip the switch" and go from a hot to cold persona without explanation is unlike anything I have seen before. They're sick and demented creatures.

[thepersianninja]

You're the reason I got out of a toxic relationship after 9 months of it being her verbally abusing me and reeling me back in. Thank you so much for all the great videos!

[drumsticksusa]

These red flags are absolutely spot on. I just left a gaslit relationship run by a female covert narcissist certified in social work and adept at emotional psychology. She really knew the ropes. Easily could have written "How To Be A Master At Narcissistic Gaslighting." It's a dangerous situation to be in. If you're in one of those relationships, leave now.