New foster parent - first day #fosterparent #fostercare #fosterparenting

[bricktastic]

The timing on this video; yesterday I had my grandson in a large chain sporting goods store trying on runners when a lady I recognize from foster parent events came in with 3 children. She is lovely, and always meticulously dressed. All 3 of them were obviously unkempt, dirty hair, wearing inappropriate clothing for the weather and just overall not in good spirits. I watched this foster mom calmly, patiently and lovingly allow them to choose their own shoes, only saying things such as “is there anything along this wall that looks interesting to you”? and other questions designed to allow the children to be comfortable in choosing what they wanted to try on. It’s important to remember that what is considered normal to a lot of us, ie showering after a long day, immediately changing into clean clothes or even shopping for a new pair of shoes might not be typical for a child newly in care and they might need reassurance and/or permission to choose to meet their own needs via their own comfort levels. A lot of children are not used to buying things that aren’t on sale, haven’t been passed down to them or bought second hand. They may be uncomfortable stating what they like without being used to being told they are selfish, or it’s something that’s priced outrageously or that they’re dreaming if they think they’re getting something that expensive etc etc etc . I am not faulting or criticizing biological parents for an inability to provide new items and I’m certainly not saying all children in care have experienced any of this; just that we need to be sensitive and understand there are many reasons why a child might not want to shower, have their clothes washed, or openly state their wants or needs etc.

Personally I would love to see a video on older kids and how you explain/handle budgets; clothing, shoes, personal items purchased for them and other financial aspects ie allowance, spending money etc.
Thank you Laura!

[Phoenix..s]

When I first went into foster care, my carers were so sweet, they made me hot chocolate and gave me cookies and they even gave me a onesie and the next day they took me and my sister to get new clothes and let us choose. It was really helpful as I didn’t feel too nervous and I was comfortable around them quickly after this when normally it takes me a while to be comfortable around strangers. I’m still with them 8 years later and they’re still great carers

[_sunny_suni__]

I was in foster care when I was kindergarten. My siblings and I were originally split between two houses and an amazing and sweet woman did not like the fact that we were apart from each other. She took us in and treated us so amazing. I don't remember much since I was so young, but I remember on my 6th birthday she made cupcakes for me to take to my class and when I had my scheduled visit with my parents that weekend she made more cupcakes so I could celebrate with my parents. She was so sweet.

[ALCHEMICORACLE.universe]

watching these videos is healing the neglected child parts of me + thank you so much for modeling consent / choice /attunement / patience / care

[BananaPudding-pmqg]

I’m not a foster parent, but when I’m a counselor for summer camps, I use all of this!!

[AccidentallyOnPurpose]

Sheets can be changed, letting a kid go to bed unshowered and in dirty clothes not to overwhelm them is not going to hurt them. So glad foster parents like you exist.

[akikookamura]

I’m 24 and wish you were my parent 😂 these videos are so healing to the hurt inner child

[dustinjolicoeur]

I all ways like to give 2 options instead of a yes or no option. Does that makes sense? It just feels more polite. Shower or TV? Cereal or waffles? Cause some times the kiddos dont know whats gonna happen if they say “no”. Cause they never got the choice before or bad things happened last time they said no.

[sallydavidson]

I know you posted that you're no longer fostering as you got a pool and child welfare doesn't allow homes with pools! I hope they change their minds! You are an amazing person!

[cakejoy]

@foster.parenting This triggered a memory of one 11yr old girl who came to us with lice...obviously had to be handled immediately that night and I did my best to make her comfortable, but would be curious how you'd handle that situation. I imagine its fairly common.

[sarahlowinger]

I love your videos! They make the idea of becoming a foster parent a lot more tangible and you give great tips.

[Junes.dreams.uk_]

So much love. Hope you get some back 🩷

[dcathification]

I want to be a foster mom soon and these are helping me so much.

[sumerlilangel]

As someone who spent time in foster care as a child, I would get overwhelmed when a new parent asked too many questions or talked too much in general. I liked exploring and getting acclimated on my own in silence. I was in foster care from the age of 4 to 8.

[mbbeautea]

Wow, you can shower and do laundry at the same time in your house? That’s awesome

[Amira-fker]

I don’t know why these videos are addictive I’ve never been in foster care and I’m also 11 so it’s not like I’m planning to foster kids anytime soon but these videos are great keep them up they probably help a lot of people

[TammyLynn-rgku]

U seem so amazing thank God for ppl like u

[ElisabethMiller-lftj]

I'm 9 I'm in foster care but before i got put in foster care My cousin had a cousin that was born and she got in foster care and we took her in then she got tooken away and a few months later I got put in my grandma's house but i got put in a person's house that I don't know but I got put back with my Grandma it's been hard living with my Grandma and my cousin's and I'm the youngest out of my siblings

[aj]

these videos make me feel so safe and i'm not the foster child! 🤣

[vidamonroe]

My first reaction would be like, no, I wanna stay here, I wanna stay here and watch you. 👁️👄👁️