Thanksgiving - First time foster parent vs experienced foster parent

[zacgallenlover]

Bio foster sibling and recovering from anorexia.. Don’t comment on how much a child is eating on thanksgiving unless it will make them physically sick. A lot of kids haven’t experienced a thanksgiving like that and can be super overwhelmed. Thanksgiving is a really hard time with people with eating disorders❤ Always say “I’d love you to try, but if you don’t want anything i can always make you (safe food)”. Don’t be upset if kids want to eat alone too.

[goblinguy]

Alot of kids in foster care *arent* grateful, and that’s fine. You shouldn’t have to be. Being in a strangers house during the holidays can be so difficult, and we shouldn’t make kids feel bad for being upset! Adore these videos<3

[shawn-oldaccountl]

Also absolutely no comments like “are you sure you want to eat all that?” or “a second serving already?”

[bonniepaora]

Damn if a foster kid has anything they say they're grateful for, give them a hug. Thats resilience

[kishamyers]

My adopted parents were my last foster home and they took me and my 3 younger siblings in and gave us a HOME. They changed my life forever in the best way.

[Randomness]

I love that you don’t show any kids on camera. I know that a lot of different YouTubers will show kids on camera and exploit them for views but your channel doesn’t and it just makes me happy to see that.

[PatienceAnderson]

I love your videos. My nephews are currently in foster care sadly. I will have them tomorrow for Thanksgiving, from 9am- 6pm I am so grateful for their foster parents for letting me pick them up. Their foster momma and daddy are the best. ❤️ Reminds me of you so much. Thank you for all you do for these kiddos. ❤️

[that_pan_chick]

I love the added detail of the drinks being different. Really shows how much work and detail is put into these kids having a good and safe home

[angelmartin]

I just turned 27 and have spent most of my childhood in fc. Bounced around from here to there. I jave yet to heal, I wish i was placed in the care of someone like you.

[thebloobee]

Previous foster kid here. On my 15th birthday went into a shelter then moved to a foster home where i spent maybe a month at including Thanksgiving before they said i was an issue and kicked me out. (I have depression and at this time was horrible i didn't join in on most things and slpet when i could however was never encouraged me to join in on anything with them and felt kind of excluded on purpose and felt like an outsider in this home. While my younger siblings were in a different home). We went to a Thanksgiving out of town and they did the going around a table and say what you're thankful for and i dreaded it coming around to me. i remember thinking about i cannot think of a single thing im thankful for. I cannot remember exactly what i said but i think it was something like thankful for yall letting me come to their Thanksgiving.

[Saracooper]

Super appreciate the fact that she switched from alcohol to water. Alcohol can be really triggering and scary in even normal circumstances, but around the holidays it gets SO much worse.

Bc the holidays are so stressful on their own, parents who already struggle with emotional regulation may self-medicate with alcohol (and if alcohol is already a problem, they make drink even more alcohol than usual.) So kids who have experienced alcohol-related abuse may be exponentially more afraid/reactive around alcohol during the holidays.

[aliyahsakeena]

as a former foster child, im really glad you do what you do. this is so so so so so true, for the past three or four years i join my partners family’s thanksgiving and they have alwayss forced me to stand and share at the table what im thankful for. it has always made me so anxious I cry

[moara]

I'm a 38 year old woman, with a loving extended family, and that sentence still strikes fear in the core of my being.

[FrenkTheJoy]

I'm so glad my mom (bio) never made us do that kind of thing, and my sister's boyfriend doesn't expect us to do it either. I have no idea what I'd even say some years, and I'm not a child in the foster system. I wouldn't expect some foster kids to feel like they have anything to be grateful for, and that's valid. But even in the best of circumstances it just feels like a lot of pressure to say "I'm thankful for XYZ"
I saw a woman on a baking show, her family covers the table in that kind of paper they use at Macaroni Grill. They don't go around the table saying what they're thankful for, but they can write on the tablecloth "I'm thankful for family" or just "Bill + Jane 2023" or a drawing of a turkey or whatever, which I think is a nice idea especially if there are kids at the table.

[Cab]

Hell, I’ve never been a foster kid, but I find it triggering when people say let’s go around the table and do crap like this and always find ways to avoid it.

[Amanda-bk]

Thank you for the alcohol deal esp with older foster kids that were like how i was and recovering from alcohol and that you seem so kind

[thanaily]

even i hate being put on the spot like that and i have a safe, loving family to spend thanksgiving with!! i cant imagine how stressful thatd be for foster kids. thank you for spreading these kinds of videos, theyre very comforting in a sense.

[lys]

I really appreciate not pressuring anyone to speak. However also I know for myself I've always struggled to know when I can talk in social situations and sometimes I'd like to speak/respond but entering conversation is hard because I feel like I need someone's permission to talk and the idea of 'going round the table' is the only way I was often able to participate in group conversations. I'm now an adult and still struggle with this and I wonder if there are some kids in foster care who might perhaps feel that way and what would help them to be able to talk in such a scenario where it's maybe not clear if they want to talk or not? One thing a group that I used to attend did was the leader would say we're going to pass (object) around the circle and say xyz but if you don't want to say anything that's fine too, you can pass it on to the next person. I found that quite helpful but also a problem I experienced was if I was wanting to talk but couldn't formulate my words quickly enough when I had the object they would think I don't want to say anything and encourage me to pass it on.

[cranberry]

I have a massive thing with drunk men/men drinking alcohol.
I don't mind if women drink, but seeing a man drink instantly puts me on the edge around them

[quinnvids]

i love how you model first time vs experienced to demonstrate the foster parent learning from experience in a non judgmental way.