Going To Social Environments ALONE

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Charlie and Ben talk how to go out as an extrovert if your introverted friends don't want to.

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[jessmith]

I go out alone a few times. Sure the peer pressure can be hard, but I think it takes a person comfortable enough in themselves to do so, and be fine whether they talk to people or don't. Ive had both.

[Dmanfp]

The key is to not let get your head, but divert that energy and leave it back where people originate it. It's not that I'm lonely, I'm going at it Solo and enjoying my own company + the experience. Everything is so dam complicated with other people-- Especially in a group, much easier to chill when going out solo than with the group's demands for sure (I tend to gravitate towards straying from groups anyways when I must be out with groups apparently lol)

Even at restaurants, where I sometimes get the vibe of "ah you're on your own?" I just confidently put up one finger 'yes table for one' and go about my business, and it works

[palatinegentils]

I think it's super interesting to learn to go out alone. You learn so much and at the same time giving yourself freedom to experience something. It's super courageous and It's my plan to learn to go out alone.

[themanftheworld]

I go out alone all the time to eat out, shows, concerts, etc.I have no one else.Ive been to such places and seen loving couples together enjoying themselves.I ask myself what has that male got what I haven't and the only answer I can come up with is confidence.Ive been rejected 3 times by women over the last few years and it hurt so badly.Its got to the stage where I wouldnt approach any more women because I can now anticipate their negative answer of no interest.Now when I go out I try to make the best of things when I'm alone.Ive resigned myself to never finding that someone special woman but won't stay in because of it.

[ryancentnarowicz]

I’ve seen guys go to bars alone they actually go there because they want something to drink not socialize at all.

[doughjoe]

Hey! Thanks a lot for answering my (totally anonymous) question! You guys have given me something to think about before my next time out.

I specifically asked about bars/clubs because I like the atmosphere and generally social vibe that bars/clubs offer. I really love the experience of getting to know someone new (also girls, but you already knew).

Also, I’m looking to become more bold, and I feel like bars, where nobody knows you, and nobody cares, are a good testing ground for coming out of my shell a bit more.

I know this won’t really resonate with most guys in the same boat as me, but I’m lucky in the sense that I have a very unique look (due to albinism), that makes people, for whatever reason, want to approach me more. This has kinda helped me ease the tension a bit as well, since. I can always expect someone to ask me something if I’m not open and charismatic right out the gate, which allows me to open up more naturally. But that’s super niche.

Thanks again!

[albertozenemij]

Don't listen to these nerds. Just go out alone and make friends!

The people at jujitsu most likely don't go out. While the people at the club are more likely to know the lifestyle and other places to go. Thats why it's best to make friends there if that's one thing you want to keep doing

[skitz-oh]

I go out on my own, only a few times but it's incredibly freeing. Don't have to wait on anyone and can go wherever whenever..see a pretty girl? Just go say hi, you don't have friends there tying you to a location. I've always had crippling anxiety but after being locked away for so long I've started to think out loud, this surprisingly has helped me break the ice with strangers and they sometimes are thinking the same thing or they comment on your thought and it goes from there.

[AZIARGROUS]

I have done, and still do it. I love it. I go out to have fun, if there is music to see if the musicians are good and the music is enjoyable. If there’s dancing, I am more than comfortable dancing on my own. Sometimes you’ll find someone and you’ll have the most natural approach, sometimes they will find you. If it doesn’t happen, don’t force it, just enjoy it and don’t keep a score.

[SconHeadVideos]

I really want to do this, however theres one thing that always stops me, and thats worrying about other people looking at me and assuming I have no friends or that i’m a loner.

I actually do not have any friends, so this assumption would be correct. However the thought of someone knowing this really makes me feel uncomfortable and ashamed.

[charlineorozco]

Another great way to meet new people- especially while traveling is staying at hostels!

[_Only_Zuul]

once i have a few drinks i feel ok about being out alone..

[broadcasttttable]

That's all I do is go out alone. I'm "old" (chronologically anyway). It sucks as a regular occurence but the alternative is "Seinfeld" or "Two and a Half Men" reruns. Men and women my age usually have health problems and don't share my outlook on life, so the only reason I'd want to be with them is because I'm afraid what other people think of me for being alone? I'm a great dancer, so that helps yet if the music's good and I'm still alone, do I NOT dance for fear of others' opinions? So sometimes I dance alone (which women can do without being judged but not guys...and I'm a guy). Yeah, yeah, some are judging me but I'm too old to care plus the alternative is...(see sentence #2).

[jaydenroach]

Unfortunately my main hobby is live music. Its hard to make new friends outside of a bar, when my hobby is located almost entirely inside bars 😢

[feelreality]

Hey, I love your work! I just want to point out that the link to your Spotify isn't working for me, is it region exclusive?

[ienjoyapples]

Why does there have to be some ulterior motive of picking up women or meeting your new bff? What about just going to a bar solo to enjoy some drinks in the company of others?

[azukarzuchastux]

Acts 16:30-31
King James Version
30 And brought them out, and said, Sirs, what must I do to be saved?

31 And they said, Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved, and thy house.

[mrtraffic]

Going to bars alone nowadays, is completely fucked up.

[wildrice]

Haha, funny to watch pickup artists be clueless about the concept of making actual friends. "At a bar?? I've never heard of such a thing! What is a 'friend'?." Yeah, obviously the bar is a great place to make friends, normal people do it all the time.

[Easy_Healthy_Habits_]

The guy with the white T-shirt… simple as hell. A huge empty ego!
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