Lessons for anyone who was scapegoated by a narcissist (Narcissistic Family Roles)

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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.

THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.

[hbattles]

Another characteristic of a narcissistic family is giving fake sympathy when the scapegoat goes through hard times and laughing at him/her behind his/her back.

[iris__and_rhizomes]

I was the scapegoat. At age 46, I moved to north central MN. At age 49 I went no contact. All that is up here is snow and woods, with not a narcissistic family member for a thousand miles. It’s been a year now of no contact, and it’s been the best year of my life.

[debraa]

Basically, we are the ones who refused to drink the Kool-aid. It's something to be proud of, even if it doesn't always feel good.

[Parentingwiththefutureinmind]

I was a scapegoat in my family and I spoke up and they gaslight me. I am now living in another country and the distance alone gives me peace.

[path]

Every time I read the comments from all the people who have survived I just want to say: GROUP HUG, GROUP HUG!! My hope is huge blessings for all of you...

[katherinehedrick]

So true! "Some people will never like you because YOUR Spirit irritates THEIR demons".

[LovelyKarma]

I remember being a kid like 5or 6 writing in my journal that “ my family calls me the problem child and I want to be good so they will like me” I used to cry all the time to God to change me. I’m glad I found ur channel because so much makes sense now. I just want to fully heal and not let my past continue to dictate my future.

[madeleineurquhart]

I was 11 yrs old and called for help when our violent alcoholic father was fighting in the basement with another drunk. Mother was at a sport tournament with my 15 yr old and 13 yr old brothers. She asked me to take care of my two little sisters ( 9 yrs and 8 yrs at that time). The call was made at 3 am...three little girls...terrified. Help did come, Mom came home early, and she told my siblings " Your Dad is in jail for endangering his children, and it's because I broke our family code of silence...I called for help. Police came, and that's why he is in jail!" Today my siblings still blame me. They exclude me from family gatherings...and we are in our 60's. Dad and Mom have passed away. Still treated badly today. I have removed myself from this highly toxic family and I am fairing better now. Scapegoated, but now I understand that I am the strongest person in this family!

[natassjasking]

Scapegoated for my entire childhood right up until I realized university would be my only chance at escape. I busted my hump to get terrific marks in my last year of high school and suddenly I was the golden child... but it was all hollow and I saw right through it as my brother quickly became the scapegoat instead. I moved away for university and went low-contact, and I’ve been no-contact for nearly a decade. I committed to serious CBT and DBT work for much of my 20’s and now, at 33, I finally feel like the captain of my own ship. I’m in a loving, equitable marriage and have a safe home where boundaries are respected and love is unconditional. I’m a teacher, giving a safe space to students who may not have one at home.

[wesmeyer]

I'm 72 years old, and just now receiving confirmation that it's not all my fault...thank you Dr. Ramani....

[hkswrapsody]

I was the sibling who was left out by siblings in social gatherings, the butt of jokes and insults. Yet I was the one who they came to fix their problems. In my 50’s I realized I deserved better and went no contact. Having no close family hurts but as time goes on I realize I have value and deserved better. I miss the idea of family but not the people who I once considered precious to me above all else.

[whitehorse]

We are scapegoated in our families because WE TELL/TOLD THE TRUTH, which our family members could not stand!! I grew up on the east coast and moved all the way to Hawaii to get away from them! I was left out of the Will!.... I deal with the family rejection to this day (I am 65 now) We scapegoats are STRONG and RESILIENT which is another reason we are hated by our SICK family...so take heart, your family was jealous of your strengths that THEY NEVER HAD!!! :-)

[vickiegroome]

Funny how you realize "something's not right" as a child. As an adult you have the aha moment. Thank you.

[gingin]

I was scapegoated because I was bright and I did really well at school and my narcissistic mother was so jealous of me. So, scapegoating is not just about not measuring up. It's also because you have great qualities and the narcissistic parent wants to drag you down because they're so jealous and envious of you.

[SuzkaMares]

I was the family scapegoat and treated horribly. Blamed for everything and treated the absolute worst out of everyone in the family. I focused on my own healing religiously for years, found passion and purpose in my life, and now i help others do the same. You can do it too. You will survive and thrive once you focus on You and your amazing qualities. Miracles do happen. Keep shining ✨️

[evren]

The best part about being the scapegoat is the moment you realize that you are not to blame for your family’s dysfunction after all.

After years of being the emotional dumping ground, you gain the courage to quietly walk away

[bbk]

"Accept the system is broken", "don't let their behaviour define you" SO important. Thank you.

[dynamic]

I went from ScapeGoat to EscapeGoat and I've never felt happier and freer!! 🙌🏻

[joannesampson]

If a scapegoat can eventually escape with their wits and rise above then these are the people who change the world.

[jacqueslux]

I am the scapegoat of my family. My father was a narcissist. And I found out less than a month ago that mother is one as well, of the covert variation. I’m 34 years old. And, as I post this, I’m in the middle of a cross-country trek in order to break away and start a new life. Thanks to Dr. Ramani’s videos, I was able to identify all the abuse I’ve received my entire life. This channel has literally saved my life. For anyone out there experiencing narcissistic abuse, stay strong, stay positive, stop brushing things off, and remember that you are worth way more than what you’re receiving 🤍