Robert Waldinger: What makes a good life? Lessons from the longest study on happiness | TED

What keeps us happy and healthy as we go through life? If you think it's fame and money, you're not alone – but, according to psychiatrist Robert Waldinger, you're mistaken. As the director of 75-year-old study on adult development, Waldinger has unprecedented access to data on true happiness and satisfaction. In this talk, he shares three important lessons learned from the study as well as some practical, old-as-the-hills wisdom on how to build a fulfilling, long life.

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[rae]

I now realize that the moment I became HAPPY was when I stopped comparing myself to others and came to understand that what others think of me is just none of my business.

[nilayuyank]

Being in a good relationship starts not just finding a good person it starts with being a good person.

[karlottahawkins]

Thank you for this Ted Talk. I am almost 70. I’m a retired middle school media teacher, mother, grandmother, wife, friend. Evaluating my life after listening to you, I have to agree with you completely. Stable, loving, long lasting relationships are the joys in my life. I am hosting a family reunion in a week. This reunion brings me more joy than planning a vacation. ❤

[lastnarwhal]

Some quotes that I really needed to hear...
"The good life is built with good relationships"
"Good relationships keep us happier and healthier. Period."
"It's not just the number of friends you have, and it's not whether or not you're in a committed relationship, but it's the quality of your close relationships that matters."

[Mikey-wgxu]

I’m 61, married for 33 years, one daughter 25 years old. Went to college and worked my whole life. Planning to retire at the end of this year. Been lucky, worked hard, lived a good life, very few regrets....hope to be around for many more years. I am no expert but I can offer my thoughts for what they’re worth: pick your relationships based on decency and character, not flash; be prepared to work hard on improving yourself (relationships and education and physical self); live within your means; invest time and money on your health, family first; things don’t last but memories do; and always be thankful. I think as you get older, friends become more important. Good luck to all in finding your own happiness. 👍🏼👍🏼

[trevorwallace]

That explains why we are happier as children. The bond u had with your friends were the best times of your life

[Manonhsb]

I’m 21, still super young but this video left me a message! A true life lesson. Thank you for this🤝🏼!!

[michelvaraigne]

I do totally agree with what this man told us on this video . I 'm nearly 70 years old, and I do really deeply think, that a good reationship with people you meet all along your life, keeps you healthy, helps you to carry on appreciate being older and older, and makes you happier and happier .

[DanielVerberne]

This presenter has a very warm and appealing voice and manner.

[Independent.Kurdistan]

This guy is the best ted talker ever because he is sincere and humble

[jamesanthony]

The choice of occupation obviously plays a huge part in happiness. True story. A patient once asked his psychiatrist, 'What makes people happy? What is common amongst the happiest people that you know'? The psychiatrist unhesitatingly replied, 'Those who waited in some cases up to 10 years after high school before deciding on a career path. In the meantime they traveled, performed odd jobs, found out their strengths and weaknesses, what they liked and didn't like, ultimately deciding only then what they wanted to do with their lives. The unhappiest people were those who didn't wait and chose a profession because of parental pressure or for other reasons.'

[JohnsonKayla]

This just proves how connected we all are and that the true purpose of life is learning to connect and draw lessons from/with each other. I really long for more close fulfilling relationships and hope that I’ll have a strong network of people around me as I grow older.

[andrewheffel]

Old man here. Stunningly good talk. And 100% true. I spent so much of my time when I was younger working hard and worrying about our finances. And I am glad we worked hard and planed for the future.

But I am more glad my wife and I also took time for each other and for our two sons. We did everything together. Sports, vacations, weekend outings, reading books out loud, praying together. Now my joy is spending time with my lovely wife, and our weekly calls with our grown sons who are still close to us. I wish everyone could experience the joy of being loved and understood.

[RB-mqem]

The pandemic has taught me to appreciate what I have: a nice home, places to walk by the sea and countryside, friends and family, my health, my books. I am trying to be grateful and appreciative every day for these great privileges.

[TheErika]

I wish i had heard of you and this Ted Talk when i was in my 20's - i grew up in dysfunction - losing my Mom in Dec 22' i had to face my reality - im slowly working on being a better friend a better daughter im 58 now no man in my life - i want very much to have true love but its working on me to get there i have to be happy and healthy first

[Bobby-woub]

This was the biggest advice I have been given so far. Thank you so much for sharing this valuable research with us. You changed at least one life for sure: mine.

[docbrown]

This is so true. Here in Japan we have one of the highest suicide rates. We are working 24-7 to chasing money, we are on our phones and computers watching internet, there’s very little socializing and no real connection with anybody. Our society has become sick and lost.

[yuanboli]

I'm 18, and I'm thankful to gain this knowledge at such a young age.

[eeelizabethh]

I am a 26 year old Millennial and this was a golden nugget. Thank you for this <3 Of course I crave wealth but I also understand that wealth and fame won't help me achieve happiness. I must put in great effort in the relationships I have. I took this all in and I am excited for the future!.

[AH-snxw]

Fantastic talk. Couldn’t agree more that healthy, quality relationships are a key fundamental to a healthy life and overall wellbeing. Likewise toxic relationships are a killer to the soul producing unnecessary violations. At 62 I’m still working on this because it’s so essential and valuable to a contented life.... Period!