The INFJ fade. (or: Why We Get Ignored)

If you, as an INFJ, find yourself being ignored or fading into the background, I have a couple of theories on why that's happening and what to do about it.

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#INFJ #MBTI #16Personalities

[infjness]

INFJs be like "why is it that I never meet any other INFJs in real life? .. oh right we're invisible. ok"

[NASkeywest]

Every one: "You are pretty quiet."
Me: "Only on the outside."

[justinael]

I'm definitely INFJ. But I'm very, very talkative when i feel like talking. Then I need to hide and be alone, regretting the talking. Do others feel like that, too?

[graciawong]

INFJs are not “quiet”. Our eyes and expressions can give away the crazy internal monologue. And people find that extremely jntimidating

[r.m]

"You're so shy omg."
to

[slimmyjimmy]

“They’re not ignoring you. They just don’t know how to deal with you. Because you’re that cool.”

[curlyb]

I think all of this goes in addition to the “I’m holding on to my thought because they’re talking” and then the conversation does a 180 and your thought is irrelevant.

[jadenortiz]

I often find myself acting different depending on who I’m with — not being fake, but I tend to take on the traits or energy of whom ever I’m with.

[toric]

This is why I prefer one on one interactions. I don't like feeling left out 😂😂

[borisvandruff]

1) Does it need to be said?
2) Does it need to be said by me?
3) Does it need to be said by me right now?

[lp_de_Lp-nh]

As a INFJ sometimes even when I try to talk, I usually get ignored by other people. Like wtf????

[acooldude]

As an INFJ, finding a good time to insert my thought into a conversation when I won't be interrupting anyone else's comment flow, only to wait too long and have the conversation move on without me happens ALL the time.

[missheath]

Frank alone in his room overanalyzing why INFJs overanalyze things in great detail. Mood. Rofl.

[charlesprice]

From an older INFJ let me provide a little insight. First: you are now, and will always be, ahead of the curve, possibly as much as ten to fifteen years. Most won't get it. Don't worry about it. Don't bother to explain it. You'll see things come about and you will come to expect it. Second: you take in, formulate, and conclude life for a reason, so others will. Earlier in life you'll take in more than you put out. You're building a data base. All experiences matter and count. Later, your output will be more, while taking in and concluding more, faster, to a much greater extent, to the point of exhaustion. Be aware and take care. Take time to recover and replenish, avoid emotionally destructive people and cultures. Third: You're meant to pass through many peoples lives, some for a short time, a very few for a lifetime. You'll never be alone in your head. Sometimes you're presence and pretense alone will be enough. Other times, you may find yourself suddenly projected to center stage as the only one with a complete thought. Don't be stunned if the entire room is fixed on you and listening, as to be amazed. Just be calm and your database will deliver. Don't marvel at that position you are in. You're just the messenger. Pass it off. If people don't say anything. They're taking it in. They're not ignoring you. They're just speechless. Many more such times will come and you will be increasingly more comfortable with them, until you take them for granted, and forget them. Radically changing times are about to hemorrhage forth on humanity. Your part is critically important. Don't stress over it. It will all come naturally to you. You'll finally be in your element. Most people think they'll see an extraordinary view from the top of a summit, but you don't. You feel it. Good luck.

[DNT]

“They’re not ignoring you. They just don’t know how to deal with you. Because you’re that cool.” Bro this changed my life! Seriously, i feel less anxious about people right now.

[Jade-nsdm]

"why so quiet?" *in a condescending tone*

maybe because not everyone wants to blab their unstructured and harebrained thoughts, rebecca.

[MinMin-oeod]

I'm mostly either the center of the conversation and my group or full on ignored.
There's no in between.

[withlovesophiex]

My constantly changing extraversion and introversion confuses people I think. One day I'll be so chatty, then exhausted and then the next day I'll hide away to preserve my energy.

[arabonara]

Yes, I am quiet because I usually decide that expressing my opinion won't matter in the situation.

[thirstwithoutborders]

The most hurtful thing I have experienced in that direction is being forgotten, often. People don't remember me, that I was there are the lame party or dinner or whatever. While I remember their whole boring AF life story and that they hate onions, because they talked at me for a lifesucking hour. And then you don't remember my face or name or that I exist?
I tried being louder and saying something about myself, so that they too have something to remember me by, but then I just feel more drained and embarrassed about having talked nonsense.